My heart is beyond lost. Sad. Mad. Confused. And honestly, I feel so empty.
But a friend sent me this, and I found complete joy. My 'now' saddens me. My 'now' is not really where I want to be.
But it will have to do.
2018 Inktober Series
Day 18 - Bottle
“Novice, you see that this bottle is empty. Whether it is a harmful bottle of poison, or a beneficial bottle of medicine, or a nourishing bottle of water depends on what you pour into the bottle.
Therefore Novice, only pour nourishing and beneficial things into your mind and heart, so you bring nourishment and benefit to all around you.” #inktober2018#inktober#Bottle#TheNovice#empty#Zen#Buddhism#JMWart
Dear first crush.
I remember the first time I saw you, and a couple of weeks later, I caught myself searching on google “does he love me?”. You never bored me. I always looked up for your newest picture on fucking facebook. It was a very cringy time, but looking back, it’s funny how we both didn’t told each other about our love. I remember every word you said, that day, behind my back. I also remember the words you said, after your friend tried to tell me your feelings. I always wanted to hear it from you, face to face. I probably did everything to get your attention. My friend which sat behind you in class, told me things you thought about me. Everytime I was happy, but I didn’t told someone the reason. Even though that in those legendary 2 years we hid our feelings, until they fadeed, it’s a time I love to look back. I always talked to my friend and the topic number 1 were always you. You still the guy who’s making offensive jokes, but at least you are you. You didn’t changed. You still the one I saw the first time, 4 years ago. Thanks for a cringy 12-year-old-lovestory in my life. I got over you, and I’m happy that you did too.