Felt that this was important to clarify💓
ID: a text saying: “
Okay so i usually do these self care reminders when I post and which I from now on also will put in my highlights, and the core message in them is “drink water, eat, take your meds”. And I don’t know but if anyone with a binge eating disorder/another disorder that makes you need to eat less/differently sees this, I just want to apologise if the eating part is somehow triggering to you.
I always try to say “eat if you haven’t in a while/if you’re hungry” for this very reason. What I mean is I want you to know that I see you, you’re valid and your illness is valid. I want you to recover, I want you to be able to eat the way you want to and enjoy the food you like. So, I tell you now: go drink your water and take your meds. If you haven’t eaten in a few hours/if you’re hungry, you should eat no matter what you’re struggling with bc food is important and hunger is your body telling you that it needs nutrition.
I hope I made this clear and that you feel included in my posts. All the love💓” TAGS
I am recovering from bulimia, restrictive orthorexia, and body dysmorphia.
8 weeks ago I was admitted into an Eating Disorder Recovery Program at Rogers Memorial Hospital. Recovery is a chaotic roller coaster of good days/bad days, but it’s amazing to feel the progress I’ve already made. At my lightest I would have NEVER posted a picture like this – but today I’ve found the courage to do it.
I lost 48 pounds in 2017. As I was shrinking people complimented me and asked how I did it. I always smiled and responded, “diet and exercise”. But the truth? Self-destructive coping mechanisms and chronic starvation - that’s how I did it. My life was entirely focused on isolation and deprivation. My heart, thyroid, reproductive system, immune system, and brain were all failing - not to mention I was insanely moody and a nightmare to be with. I was a shell of the person I used to be and thought about nothing except for weight loss and self-hatred. It wasn’t until I had a bloody scare of a ruptured esophagus that I finally cried out for help.
In recovery I’ve gained weight back – but I also gained my life back. I’m gaining confidence, happiness, purpose, and many things I’ve never had before. I chased unrealistic dreams of happiness for SO long, thinking that once I reached my “goals” I would FINALLY be at peace with myself. I was wrong. It wasn’t until I stopped chasing perfection and instead focused on my THOUGHTS and my CHARACTER that I began to be genuinely happy. No one loves you because of how you look. People love you because of your goodness, and your laugh, and your heart. It’s so much more rewarding to put effort into falling in love with your LIFE instead of falling in love with your body. If anyone reading this is struggling with mental illness and feels stuck, I promise it can get better. I’m proof. I’m not going to lie to you and say I feel confident every day or that the darkness doesn’t creep back into my mind every now and then. I’m still a hot mess just trying to get by, but after spending so long in the dark it’s amazing to see that every day is getting a little bit brighter. #edrecovey#edrecoveryjourney#recoverypost#eatingdisorderrecovery
This was heaven😍 been to Hiltl yesterday for dinner, bc it was my b-day and had this delicious plate from buffey🤤 and also some brownies, blondies and blackies and quark, bc it’s important to treat yo-self😏 also had fresh raspberry lemonade and then walked through Zürich old town, which is sooo beautiful😍 have a great start into this week and bye!❤️ (btw do you also forget what day it is during summer holidays?😅)
I've been lapsing for far too long. I think it's time to make a comeback.
Recovery is full of ups and downs and it's important to try and not panic when you feel yourself start to spiral. Because no matter how much it may not feel it.... you can prevent that spiral from consuming you.
I've spent some of this month back in hospital for infusions of potassium as I came close to my heart failing. Although I wasn't at my lowest weight, emotionally and mentally I felt rock bottom. Every day was again a struggle where I felt the breath was being sucked from me.
But as I was once told.... ' you're not gaining weight, you're RESTORING IT' and that's the attitude I'm desperately trying to have.
I wasn't built to be perfect. Perfect is a myth. And myth of being flawless. Well I think loving yourself comes down to a choice. You can decide to love yourself. Or even just like yourself if love is too much to ask, which it definitely feels too much for me right now. Look in the mirror everyday and try and find 3 things that you like about yourself, in the hopes that it won't be the same thing everyday. Because mood is fluid, I don't always hate my body shape, I have better days when I'm like ' meh' instead of wanting to claw at my skin.
And right now, it's the meh days I'm fighting for.
Maybe not the most inspirational post but this is where I'm at right now x
Love you all
Started from the bottom now we here... In the first photo, I was heavily restricting my food intake, binging because I was in emotional pain and then purging once the guilt set in.
In the second photo I am connected emotionally, spirtually and I know my worth. I eat to nourish my body. When I feel emotional pain I try to focus this on areas other than food or deprevation. I work on myself. I do not equate my worth to a number on a scale or likes on a selfie.
Recovery isn't easy, I still battle with myself at times, but is it worth it? 100% yes!
This flavor of @kevitadrinks gets the Becca stamp of approval, easily. Delicious and probiotic goodness, the refreshing sparkling water quality that makes it so crisp tasting, it’s really great! I’ve only ever had one other flavor, so I’m thankful @brassdoss was able to pick this (and a pomegranate flavored one) up from @healthylifemarket today to bring home for me after church. This is NOT sponsored in any way, I’m just enjoying this and wanted to share. If you’ve never tried @kevitadrinks, you owe it to yourself to try it if you ever see it.😊💛
LUNCH: spinach wrap, with prawns and greek yogurt, pepper and lemon and salad.
What a busy morning! Dog booked in for her her jabs and booked into the kennel, thank you letter written and sent, dog walked, body balance attended, breakfast and lunch made and cleared away! House tidied and even managed to send the gas and elec reading to the suppliers!! I mean if that’s not over achieving on a Monday morning! You should see what this afternoon has in store! -
Ebbene, eccomi, non sono sparita 🙈
La mia colazione è sempre la stessa e i miei spuntini sono quasi sempre aggiunti al pranzo perché non ho tempo, per questo posto di rado. 😪
Oggi ho pranzato da mia nonna con:
-risotto ai funghi 🍄
-merluzzo e piselli 🐟
-un chilo di frutta mista 🍑🍒🍎
Ovviamente tutto condito e accompagnato dal tanto temuto pane.
Ora è il momento di SCORRERE LE FOTO ⏩⏩⏩
Ieri sono andata dalle dietiste (si, sono due), mi hanno misurata, pesata, controllata e tutto va più che bene! Ho preso peso, ho aggiunto centimetri al braccio (mio grande sogno, ho sempre avuto le braccia piccole), ho ridotto il gonfiore e il mio cuore sta MOLTO meglio.
Tutto ciò per dirvi che ad ogni esito che pronunciavano, tiravo un sospiro di sollievo e mi partiva il sorriso, quello di chi sta lottando e sta VINCENDO.
Credete in voi stesse, amatevi, non c'è cosa migliore! E vedrete che, quando starete meglio, avrete anche la mente più lucida e gioirete per i vostri progressi e per i vostri traguardi.
when you like vegan salad but you’re not a vegan so... 🌱🍗
I do admire the people who are vegans! It must take a lot of commitment!
so... this morning i had a thought and it was this:
Maybe I will recover. Maybe this is not worth it. Maybe I will fight so I can go to university and live independently without my parents worrying that I’ll turn into the ghost of moaning myrtle. Because who wants to be a ghost. With no energy, no life... maybe I should end this limbo of quasi-recovery and do it because i want to, not because my parents would not watch and let me slowly kill myself. this thought gave me hope but also pain... who am i without my Ed; i have been wondering that since i was thirteen. I know that I can be a better person. But I don’t know how to get there yet; I will fight this until I find the way.