"Amazing grace, How sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see."
These lyrics to one of the most known hymns is definitely one that I can relate to.
I'm sure most of us can...
Whether we are lost in our Faith or lost with ourselves, there is a point where YOU can't handle it all on your own... You NEED the support, the motivation, the words, the Word, the ability to just LET IT GO - that's when you're able to #findyourself . .
When you aren't "blind" & can "see" what amazing things lie ahead of you, you get this freedom & relief.
I was lost, I am lost, but I see what amazing things I have now & what amazing blessings the future holds!
I can live, love & know the promises that God has for me! .
Thank you Lord for saving me!
xoxo Jo 💖
16 years between these photos.
The left was a few months before inpatient & the right was last month.
Let’s just say our journey hasn’t been perfect, but it’s ours...
And together, by the grace of God, we can get through anything!
I love you...
Xoxo Jo 💖
I used to live in a world where I was always determined to be less than. To take up less space, to be ignored, to waste away.
Determined to weigh less than before.
Subconsciously becoming less than I was. I was never happy, very few people could get a smile out of me this time last year.
I talked less than I had ever talked in my life.
I appeared in public less than I had ever done before, determined to isolate myself.
I lost many friends.
I lost my chance to be a "normal" teenager when fear consumed my head, flooding it with a dense fog that absorbed any hope.
I couldn't rettain as much information.
I couldn't focus.
I was a shell.
An empty shell.
A place where all growth was stripped away and all I could think about was how to do/be less than the day before.
I had tunnel vision.
Leading me to believe that being less was good, that I didn't deserve to take up space or be heard, or the ever increasing thought that I was better off dead.
Despite not being fully recovered.
I refuse to live a life of less than and aspire be abundant in every way, because that isn't selfish, self-love extends far beyond the realms of having a bubble bath or doing a face mask (as much as I love both of those things 😂). Self-love is a matter of embracing every single personality quirk you have and telling yourself that you deserve to take up space, to be seen, to be heard, to be unapologetically you. Because you are you and you are enough.
Please, stop telling yourself that you are less of a person. Stop belittling yourself for your every action. Start to show yourself a little bit of love.
I simply cannot put into words how wonderful you are. How every single one of your struggles are valid. That every single person on this planet makes mistakes, it's part of being human, it's part of growing.
I strongly believe that everything in life happens for a reason and that despite your hardships you are still deserving of the world. Despite your battles, you are still beautiful. Despite the nights you've cried yourself to sleep or battled the darkest thoughts, you are not less than.
Live a life of abundance, love, happiness and gratitude.
YOU ARE AMAZING 💛
Had so much anxiety around posting this picture because I don't look as "perfect" as I want to. But I had a perspective shift tonight.
I posted the following "rant" on my story because it's important to me. To be clear this picture provoked body image anxieties... But I suppose my ramble sort of tackles that too 💛
Every single time someone tells me I'd look nicer with long hair or it would suit me better or short hair makes me looks like a boy... I FEEL MORE INCLINED TO KEEP IT SHORT when I cut my hair I didn't know how often i'd get these comments (personal opinion is fair but why express it only to make me feel less than?) my hair does not and will never determine if I am happy with myself, if I feel sexy, cute, happy, etc. that comes from within... i will not be defined by my hair, my makeup, clothes etc... so next time you try to convince me to grow my hair... or belittle me... JUST SHUT UP 💖
Applies for everyone and everything... Nothing nice to say? Well... simple answer... DON'T SPEAK 😘
'O logótipo da National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) é facilmente reconhecível como um CORAÇÃO estilizado que também pode ser interpretado como o CONTORNO DE UM CORPO FEMININO. O coração demonstra preocupação amorosa com aqueles que sofrem de DISTÚRBIOS ALIMENTARES e o corpo feminino REPRESENTA a DIVERSIDADE e a ACEITAÇÃO DE TODAS as FORMAS E TAMANHOS CORPORAIS. As linhas fluidas do logotipo também simbolizam CURVAS e MOVIMENTO; ambos são símbolos de uma IMAGEM CORPORAL SAUDÁVEL.
Algumas pessoas vêem o símbolo do transtorno alimentar da NEDA como uma combinação de duas linhas que se combinam para representar FORÇA e RECUPERAÇÃO. A interpretação individual pode variar, embora uma explicação popular tenha a linha menor representando o distúrbio alimentar, e a linha maior representando a força e a coragem exibidas por aqueles em recuperação. O coração também pode simbolizar RESPEITO PRÓPRIO , ACEITAÇÃO e AMOR.'
Today I created a video to share a few strategies that I use to stop myself from being swept up in body criticism. It is so easy for a few thoughts in the morning to derail my self-confidence and esteem throughout the day, so I like to keep these tips in mind as I go about my morning routine.
Link is in bio to view it ❤
Walking every morning through Midtown has been such a relaxing way to start my day this week ☺️ Overexercise has been a huge struggle for me in the past month and throughout my eating disorder. Even if it may not seem like much, walking this past week instead of pushing myself to run more and more is actually a huge accomplishment 🏆 recently, I was speaking with my mom about being able to celebrate the little victories. I think it’s very easy for those who are supporting a loved one through ED recovery, to only focus on what’s going wrong & the worrisome, dangerous behaviors. And yes, those are INCREDIBLY important and absolutely need to be addressed but it’s also so important to be able to recognize the wins, even if they may seem small to you 🌷 focusing on the negatives only reinforces the belief of ‘not being good enough’ or feeling like a failure. Recovery takes time, it’s messy and it might not make a whole lot of sense to someone who’s part of the support system. If you’re encouraging a loved one and supporting them through recovery, I urge you to remind them of their victories and celebrate those with them! Never underestimate that power of positivity ✨
happy hump day dudes. hope your week is goin amazing and is filled with positivity and goood vibes 💓💪🏻
dinner eats -> grilled chicken thighs + roasted japanese sweet potato + roasted broccoli and rainbow cauliflower 🌈🥦
LIFE UPDATE ALERT 🚨
I’ve been in a really odd flow recently. Like everything is hectic and everyone around me is flappy and anxious but I’m really unphased? Like I’m over the whole being stressed about stuff that when you think about it really doesn’t matter thing? This is very weird for me and I don’t quite know what to do with it. But I am enjoying feeling less stressed and I’m sure it’s doing my body and mind a whole truckload of good. Anyone else experienced this before? Kinda weirding me out a bit! .
On another note, after having to skip two gym days to attend a funeral yesterday, and not getting to the gym the week before, I am SO ready to smash a leg day tonight! Sometimes it takes a little time out to ramp up that fire inside me again 🔥
Delving into Canadian specific research on our cultural attitudes about obesity today.
I am grateful there is a foundation of research to build on in this field.
Body Liberation is not a fad or a social media trend. Body Liberation speaks to all people living with basic human rights of dignity and respect no matter how 'divergent' we may be.
This is a human rights and social justice movement that acknowledges human diversity and emphasizes the need to stop medicalizing and pathologizing bodies.
Today was a cup of tea and unicorn slipper socks kind of day.
I have taken some pretty huge leaps into the unknown lately - pushing myself outside of my comfort zone in delicious and enriching ways. I have held space for the broad range of emotions to wash over me in waves, ebbing and flowing as they do.
Today, though, I needed a reprieve. A chance to hold my heart tenderly and offer myself a moment of recalibration.
I must remember to take time for art in amongst the pushing and doing. It helps to ground me, heal me, hold me, breathe me. Art opens me to Spirit and to truth. Art is as important as the air I breathe.
In my unicorn socks, with a cup of tea in hand, I am off to greet myself on the page....
Fun fact: my skin is all grey here because the calcium and sulphur in the water collected on me 😂
Recovery is not a glamourous or single step process. You will cry. You will have days when you want to give up and revert back to disordered behaviours. You will have days when you hate everything. You will have days when you lash out at everyone around you or do not understand where these mood swings are coming from. You will hate how long the weight takes to redistribute itself.
But you keep pushing on a little bit every day. Everything the eating disorder tells you to do. You do the exact opposite. Eat that ice cream. Have that cupcake. Slather nutella on your toast.
You will never hate the end result. You will never ever hate the freedom you get. You will never hate yourself for giving yourself the opportunity to have a full and happy life. Because do you really want to be in the same position in 5, 10, 20, 30 years down the line. Except alone because your friends and family don't know how to help anymore and services have deemed you to be uncooperative so limited help is coming your way.
Life is tough my darling, but you are tougher.
You will make it through this.
I swear. You will be happy. You will trip and fall on the way. But keep pushing on. You deserve to give yourself a proper chance at life. Stop giving the eating disorder anymore power right this second. Go get that flapjack and that hot chocolate and start to take care of your body because it is waiting for you to do just that.
I believe in you.
Wasn't going to post again tonight but I wrote a thing about recovery and it's important 💖 so please read this message from the smiley bean pictured here 😂
Recovery is over glamourised. We see it everywhere don't we? The endless photos of pint parties or "healthy" meals. Countless people calling their green smoothies or handfuls of salad enough for a solid meal for a body in existential crisis. The thing is.
You cannot stay within these images on the media when recovering. You have to push yourself out of your comfort zone. You have to do what you feel is lazy and get comfortable with that because that is the only way your body can begin to repair itself. You can't eat salad 24/7. You HAVE to break apart every single rule and limitation your eating disorder put in your path.
Want to go vegan?
Great. But why? Is it for ethical purposes or are you actually just doing it to avoid the foods you've put in the box of "unhealthy" or "too calorific" in your own mind. Maybe you can do it one day, if it truly means a lot to you. But right now you have to face those fear foods. You can't shy away from them or you will only be partially recovered forever.
Obsessed with numbers? If you are in the process of having your weight checked, ask to have it done blind only to find out whether you are currently pushing enough or need to come at those walls a little harder. Try not to weigh your meals. Let's be real here. Life is far too short to count your cornflakes.
Hey Guys just checking in to know how you're doing 💙
Lol sorry for that crap pic but idc
I'm doing great at the moment and doing a lot with friends and laughing and having fun and all that normal stuff and you know what?
It feels amazing. To have a life. And friends. And to laugh.
But for that I have to let go of social media stuff
I won't be gone completely
Just not that active
Hope it's okay
You can do this
I love you 💛
This last weekend my family, fiancé, & I had to make a really tough decision. Recently, I’ve been struggling with my eating disorder in a way that I haven’t struggled in a LONG time. I had begun feeling like I was slipping into a relapse. I kept telling myself that I could handle it on my own, or that it would just go away. My fiancé and I had been planning our wedding for November but because of my recent mental health issues, we’ve decided to postpone our wedding. I am heartbroken over this decision but ultimately, this will alleviate some of the stress of wedding planning and open up more time for me to fully focus on my recovery process. I am determined to take this time to truly focus on my recovery and get myself back to the healthy, happy person I know I am underneath my eating disorder! Recovery doesn’t have to be something you do alone, in fact I believe there’s a better chance of reaching your recovery goals when you have people standing with you. I am so fortunate to have a strong support system and care team to help me with these next steps of recovery 🖤 Unfortunately, relapses in eating disorder recovery are fairly common so it’s important to talk about. There is no shame is needing extra support or in having relapses. This step back is a difficult thing for me to talk about but I know that being honest and authentic in my journey is SO important. My hope is that this time will allow me get stronger & healthier. I appreciate any and all prayers, thoughts, good vibes you folks could send my way! I know I’m not alone in this and I’m so grateful for that 🌷
Hey lovely people!
Still having a beaut time out here in Florence. Yesterday I sort of had a massive crash and got really upset and overwhelmed by everything but I'm trying my best to put that behind me. Although I'm not going to lie, a big part of me cannot wait to get back to the safety of my "normal" foods at home. I know that's not the best attitude to have but I'm struggling a little...
Anyways. It is absolutely beautiful here, I adore the vibe of this city! Tomorrow we are heading out to the hot springs a couple of hours away and I'm literally buzzing so much!! We did a tour today and then me and Mum did some yoga.
I'm having such a lovely time and in all honesty it's the perfect distraction from the anxiety that my friends heading off to uni is provoking for me right now.
So yeah, a bit up and down emotionally. In all honesty I'm trying to hold it together for my Mum's sake. But we only have 4 whole days left and ya gurl wants to make the most of being here!!
Hope you're all well and are taking care of yourselves!! Big love xxx
Happy Sunday ladies! How about sharing a picture of your favorite coffee mug or cup in the comments below and tell us what you like about it. This is a new find of mine and I love it it because it represents life-work balance for me. Obviously the mom representing my commitment to my family and the yellow is one of the business colors representing the time I spend working on the business. Love to hear from you all.