This is going to be my #lunch for tomorrow 😲❤️✨
_so my school social worker is still like stalking me at lunch. 😬 I thought we'd be done with this.
School went okay, I felt really stupid in math. My teacher basically said 'everyone is capable of getting to higher class levels, but you guys just tell yourself you can't do it..'
I got so mad. Math has never been my strong point. I try my best, but I usually end up with 85-93 in the class.
My English language arts teacher told us that about 30% of us will not be in honor classes next year. I'm scared, I really like honors and normal placement has always been too easy for me. We take the PSAT (highschool placement test) in November and I'm hoping to be mostly mentally recovered!
I start cross country on Thursday!
My #lunch on the go was this garden salad with Italian dressing from @habitburgergrill My hostsister and me went there to get some food after we have been shopping at the mall together and before we went to a poolparty of her friends💦 I always enjoy spending time with her😊
Super amazing dinner today! Summer peach balsamic pan seared tofu, grilled sweet potatoes, cucumbers, sautéed spinach and kale, with brown rice! No calories counted - another day where I have not documented my food intake! Surprisingly a relief to just go about my day with no worries about how much I’m eating 😅 Also a bit of a #recoverywin since I kept drizzling on the summer peach balsamic vinegar and mixing it in to this bowl! Normally I would NEVER dream of doing this - everything must be carefully measured - but I just added some until it tastes good. Also, the summer peach balsamic vinegar doesn’t have a nutrition label, it was purchased from a specialty oils and vinegars shop in while I was in Maine! I love anything peach and this vinegar was phenomenal! Hurray for another fantastic day! 😊💖
dinner is chicken and roasted veggies (except most of the veggies are buried under the lettuce oops). i’m feeling really anxious tonight and my boyfriend is trying to make plans. i’m feeling like ugh i just can’t tonight but i do that to him too much and idk how to explain that it’s not him. it’s just so unfair to him 😕 idk the whole situation is just hard
I miss breakfasts with my best friend in La Jolla😩 I’m just enjoying my last few days at home before I leave for college, but most of my friends either live more ham an hour away or are off on a vacation, so there has been a lot of time for self reflection, cleaning, and getting all of my school stuff in order. Anyone else out there who loves to plan out every single detail of the new school year?💁🏻♀️ I’m trying to hold my excitement for this new move (hello @mindfirstbodysecond ☺️) with my sadness about leaving my current recovery crew gals(@grace.fullyrecovers @fighting.for.progress 😘). After my last therapy appointment with my therapist of 3 years, I’ve been trying to find a new one for college and I have a list of some that seem like they might work, so at least that’s going for me🙈 Anyway, I’ve been watching a lot of tv and making cards for people I will miss (might post some of them on my story if y’all are interested😏). As always, I’m hoping y’all are having a good Tuesday (unless you are @passion_wellness or @pb_nana and it’s Wednesday in Australia for you😜)!
a lunch from a lil bit back - bc i’m in school again and i’ve been a little short on time when it comes to making pretty meals :,) to be completely honest, school stresses me out more than anything, not because of tests or homework but because the environment itself has become so entangled with my mental illnesses. i guess certain places remind me of old habits? even places like my english teacher’s classroom which i found so safe last year throw me back to the mindset i’d been in for all the class periods i spent curled up in her corner miserable lol. anyway i guess i’m trying to reclaim things,, or like.. take back the things that anorexia took away/reassign my life and be able to reassociate what i love with lovely emotions rather than painful ones!! tldr i’m very sick and tired of being so limited by this disorder - -
It doesn’t look nice, but I COOKED FOR DINNER tonight 🎉 my therapist is getting me to cook dinner at least one night a week, to get confidence back, start ENJOYING cooking again, and to get ready for going back to uni in September 👩🏼🎓 I made veggie chilli, with sweet potato, chickpeas, kidney beans and peppers, and had cheese and a small handful of tortilla chips (!!!) 🍠🌶🥘 I really enjoyed cooking tonight, and it’s made me want to do it again!
🇩🇪 Heute hieß es mal wieder "ich packe den Wohnwagen und nehme mit" denn morgen früh geht es bis Freitag zu meiner Tante nach Landshut. 80. Geburtstag und so.
Hab echt keine Lust weder auf Geburtstag noch auf 4 Stunden Autofahrt. Naja nützt leider nichts.
Dafür war ich heute den halben Tag mit Dad allein ... ach war das toll ... ruhig ... chillig und entspannt.
Hoffe ihr hattet auch alle einen angenehmen Tag. Kämpft weiter ... ihr habt ein Leben verdient, ein richtiges Leben, ein Leben ohne Ana
Milchschnitte und dazu Milchkaffee
Milchschnitte die Zweite und dazu Milchkaffee
Schüssel Vanillequark, ein paar Minimöhren und Himbeeren
Da mir heute beim Einkaufen Tortellini über den Weg gelaufen sind, hab ich beschlossen "einfach" mal - so wie es jeder normale Mensch tut - auf meinen Appetit zu hören #recoverwin
Daher gab es heute bei mir Tortellini mit Rindfleischfüllung, was auf Grund des Fleisches ein ziemliches #fearfood ist, und dazu gab es Tomatensoße al Arrabiata. Da ich heute mit Dad allein war fiel es mir auch gleich deutlich leichter auf meinen Appetit zu hören und somit sogar Fearfood zu essen.
~ 1 Chillilakritzbonbon,
~ 1 Joghurt mit der Ecke Venezia,
~ 1 Leckermäulchen Banane,
~ 3 Schokoplätzchen,
~ 1 Ü-Ei,
~ 1 Merci Kaffeesahne Bonbon ,
~ 1 Rittersport Mini Marzipan,
~ 1 Toblerone White,
~ 1 Toblerone Dark,
~ 1 Daimbonbon,
~ 1 Kinder Hippo Cacao und
~ 1 Mars Eis ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
🇬🇧 breakfast : "Milchschnitte" and milkcoffe
Lunch: "Milchschnitte" and milkcoffee
Snack: vanilla curd, carrots and raspberrys
Dinner: tortellini and sauce al Arrabiata
Nightsnack: licorice, pistachio yoghurt, banana curd, childrens surprise, Mercibonbon, "Rittersport" marzipan, Toblerone white, Toblerone dark, Daimbonbon, "Kinder Hippo Cacao", Mars icecream
This is an old picture of something I got from vegan life live but I had nothing else to post so oh well! Haven’t done an update or posted in a while and lost lots of followers but life will go on I guess ahah I try not to let things like people unfollowing me get to me but it kind of is but oh well😂
Those who have followed for a while know that I want to become vegetarian and was planning on becoming veggie soon as I was already pescatarian however I found myself craving meat which may be due to the fact I’m anaemic but I wanted to make sure I transition to vegetarian or pescatarian with the right intentions so for the moment I’ve gone back to eating meat and when I’m 100% sure it’s not for the wrong reasons then I’ll eat meat again! That being said I never ate much meat, no beef except lasagne and spaghetti bolognese, no pork except sausages etc so basically not much meat anyways but I want to make the decision when I’m in a really good place with recovery😉
Those who have been following for a while also know I had a bit of a blip and TW lost a bit of weight TWO and so wasn’t at my goal weight anymore and during my holiday I kind of thought I’d probably loose weight but I guess eating out at every meal and having three ice creams every day with family or friends meant that I didn’t lose weight and I ended up gaining and am now back to weight restored!! Yes it is scary and yes I do feel bigger but it’s probably just psychological so I’m trying to not let it get to me☺️ on my holidays I’ve been eating quite a lot more than everyone else but my hunger cues are different I guess and if my body is craving something then who am I to deny my body of the food it wants?! TW? I’m a little worried that my body will always need this much food and will always be hungry so if anyone has any experience with this please can you DM me
Anyways sorry for how rambly this is and confusing and sorry again for being so inactive but I’ll try post more I just don’t know what to post
Also these are so good and actually taste like normal cookies and are also so good heated up so the chocolate melts and with ice cream😍
G I V E A W A Y 🧚🏻♀️🧚🏻♀️🧚🏻♀️
This book was life changing for me! @jenni_schaefer is amazing and all of her books are powerful for me .
In order to enter for a chance to win a copy of this masterpiece, make sure you’re following me, and are living in the US
To enter, like this photo, write why it would be helpful or tag someone else! .
Closes @ 9pm central time!
Even if you don’t struggle with disordered eating, understanding the concepts are extremely helpful!
This is a great zero foodwaste hack! Make ‘pickled watermelon’! Peel the skin from the leftover pieces from your watermelon, put them in a jar, add salt and shake it, then let it sit overnight in the fridge. Thaaadaaah, surprisingly tasty 😯
I got tagged by one of the people I hold the dearestvin this community @booty.over.bones to share 50 facts about me and Idk how I am doing this but I'll try 😅
1. I am studying to be a chemist and also doing a nutrition minor (lol i know).
2. My name does nit really exist cause my parents combined theirs to make it.
3. I was born in Venezuela.
4. I am forever obsessed with Harry Potter.
5. I like to do henna! 🌼
6. I almost always have something on with flower patterns.
7. I love daisies because I think their beauty lies in its simplicity.
8. I was kicked out of kindergarden lol.
8. I have two siblings and I am the oldest.
9. I don't remember how to ride a bike.
10. I love anime.
11. I did my first university essay on Naruto lol.
12. I hate mayo with a passion.
13. I don't like apples because I feel fruit needs to be soft (?).
14. I really like baking!
15. I have a dog, her name is Alana and she is 10 years old.
16. I lived in Spain for 5 years.
17. I now live in Canada.
18. I got Alana in Spain and we brought her with us to Canada.
19. I am now working in a lab!💜
20. I love make up amd creating outfits.
21. I wear a skirt or a dress almost every day.
22. People always think I am wearing mascara because apparently my eyelashes are very long, but I never do.
23. I wholeheartely believe everyone is beautiful and am unable to call anyone 'ugly'
24. I don't like to pick a favorite color because I think other colors will feel bad lol.
25. I would like to be a part of the UN, and help with world hunger/ food security.
26. I love singing and love choir music.
27. There is always a place in my heart for the Jonas Brothers 😅
28. I have a collection of hairbows, I wear them a lot!
29. I have dyed my hair multiple colors.
30. I am very clumsy, and will always find a way to fall 😅
31. I love science.
32. I like writing, and would like to write short stories.
33. I CANNOT draw.
34. I drink ridiculous amounts of coffee and tea every day.
35. I am 21, but people always think I am 17 or 25, never in between 😅
36. I live with my brother.
37. My favorite type of music is anything that makes me cry xd.
38. I am a terrible texter.
39. I love horror movies!
Tja, und so schnell geht es wieder bergab. Der Tag war eine Katastrophe. Heute Morgen war ich noch mit einer Freundin frühstücken und wir sind dann noch bisschen spazieren gegangen, das war echt schön. War toll, jemanden zum reden zu haben, der einen versteht. Trotzdem waren im Hintergrund immer wieder ES-Gedanken da, und ein mega schlechtes Körpergefühl. Und bei Gedanken daran, dass ich gleich auf Arbeit muss dann noch Panik und Hilflosigkeit, einfach Leere und so viel Traurigkeit auf einmal. Hab dann schon vor der Arbeit Bedarf genommen, weil es sonst echt nicht geklappt hätte.
Eig war ich abends noch verabredet mit einem Kumpel. Hat aber wegen verschiedenster Gründe nicht geklappt, da ist dann die Welt gar zusammen gebrochen für heute. Hab versucht zu skillen, Selbsthass Gedanken iwie auszublenden, aber jeder Spiegel in den ich blicke zeigt etwas anderes. Und dann, impulsiv gehandelt, Rückfall, noch mehr schlechte Gedanken gegen mich selbst, Ekel, Hass, Verachtung. Nehme jetzt nochmal Bedarf und gehe dann ins Bett. Der Tag wird nicht mehr besser. Auch keine Energie mehr, einfach nur ins Bett, Decke über den Kopf und vor der Welt verstecken. .
Keine Sorge, ich kämpfe weiter. Aber morgen erst. Gute Nacht. Hoffe eure Woche hat besser begonnen. 💕💕💕
💕💕💕💕wollte mich auch nochmal für das ganze Feedback unter meinem letzten Post bedanken! Ihr seid toll! 💕💕💕
#lunch today was a self made tortilla pizza 😊🍕
It had tomato sauce, corn, red bell pepper, broccoli and cheese on it as well as some herbs 🥦🌽🧀😍
It was my first time trying it and it was really good 👌
Today was a pretty normal day. Went to the doctors with my mom, did some homework, watched some TV and baked cheesecake brownies aka my 800 follower challenge 😳😘
LOL this photo makes me laugh. So I'm really not doing the challenge right but day 3 of the #lgbtchallenge is to share my coming out story. To be honest, most of my family don't know, so I'll just start with who I have told. So my sister was the first one to know. At the time I thought I was bi and had for a couple years (I realized I liked girls at 13) I told her first because she's so not judgmental at all and I didn't think she would care. I was right, she didn't care hahaha.
Next was my mom, now I wasn't worried because she always told me and my siblings that it was okay if we were gay lol and that brings me to this picture.
So I have blurred her face for privacy, not that she will ever see this, but still. This is C. I met her when I was 15 and she was 17. We were both taking musical theatre and she was soooooo outgoing. Like she was outrageous and would start singing randomly throughout the theatre. I remember looking at her one day and just thinking about how beautiful she was. I still think she is the most beautiful person I have ever seen. But she was much more than that. C was extremely smart and she helped me study for a test once. She was kind to her friends and she was respectful to her teachers. She was also hilarious and silly. She would often sing the song "Cecelia" to me but would change it to my name instead. She was fun. I realized I had feelings for her during a dress rehearsal, it all hit me at once (we had barely interacted at this point) I was overwhelmed with feelings. Apparently she knew I liked her before I did which is embarrassing but oh well. See, my feelings for her were SO strong (as strong as they can be at only 15) that I just didn't care. My mom knew I had a crush on somebody and so one day when she asked who he was I was like "It's a she actually" and my mom was quite surprised but she was accepting. I was thankful.
Now my brother, okay so I didn't even get to tell him myself. My mom told him and he didn't care either.
Now my dad🤦🏽♀️ Continued in comments.
We live in a world where our views about physical fitness are myopic and misguided at best. Dieting, at its core, is a coping mechanism — a haphazard strategy for managing incoming stressors at every turn. Women who are prone to bouts of anxiety are more likely to pursue dieting than women in the general population, but everyone gets burned at least once.
Some of these stressors are a direct result of factors in our environment — worrying about being judged by others, managing institutional discrimination (like doctors, employers, etc. who regard aggressive dieting tactics as the norm), or generally trying to fit into a skinny mold (idealizing Victoria’s Secret models and the like). ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Other times, we may impose generalized anxiety onto our bodies — trying to gain “control" of something to manage our emotional landscape. We use the illusion of skinniness to protect us from feelings of vulnerability that bubble to the surface when sitting with ourselves becomes too overwhelming. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The problem is that dieting and excessive exercising are maladaptive in nature: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• Our physical health suffers at the hands of yo-yo dieting, binge eating and other disordered eating behaviors;
• Our energy is sapped chasing the perpetual summer and our self-esteem deteriorates with every failed dieting attempt;
• Our obsession grows as it takes more effort to maintain this false sense of protection. The fear of regaining the weight keep us trapped in a vicious cycle;
• Our relationships suffer as we’re reluctant to be seen in the bodies we have; ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• Our ability to increase our visibility in our businesses and show up for our clients becomes stifled
Eventually, when the world becomes smaller and our lives go completely off-the-rails, we hit a wall. And that is often the rude awakening that what we thought was healthy all along was, in fact, anything but. When we learn to put down our weapons of mass destruction and approach our health from a self-loathing to self-loving place; from skinny to athletic; from weak to strong; that is when we begin living in alignment with our highest values.
afternoon snack: popcorn and an apple 🍎. had to go to school today to get my picture taken for the yearbook and it made me so anxious. school starts on monday for me and i am NOT ready. in fact i think of the stress of that is what brought on my recent relapse, but every year i get anxious and every year turns out okay, so i think i just have to force myself to think rationally about it. (gotta use some CBT skills 😏) nut i’m gonna make this last week of summer count and not let food worries ruin it for me!
There is no "good" or "bad" food. .
True, there is some foods that hold better nutritional value than others, but life is all about enjoyment and moderation. Not instilling fear of a requirement, not teaching ourselves to ignore natural impulses just to enforce the "right choices" .
Our bodies are greatful for all nutrition in any form that they receive. Food is the fule that allows you to walk, talk, breath and lift your child. labeling it and giving it morals of "good" or "bad" only adds regret and negativity to a very normal, very natural and very crucial part of life. .
Do not let diet culture dictate to what you can and cannot enjoy in life.
Don't let those trying to make you fit a mould tell you what you can and cannot have.
And don't let anyone make you feel bad for doing exactly what your body needs. .
Stop promotion of food fear.
Stop selling guilt and stop telling us we are wrong for fueling ourselves.
Stop selling the ideas of cheat days and detoxes. Let us fall in love with food, fule our bodies as they require it and build a healthy relationship with ourselves. .