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You’re never too old for stuffed animals 💖😋 Just a reminder for anyone who feels embarrassed about the things that comfort them!
You’re never too old for stuffed animals 💖😋 Just a reminder for anyone who feels embarrassed about the things that comfort them!
often i lose track of weeks and days. dissociation from time is a huge part of my mental illness and it often makes me late, disorganised, and forgetful. i don't act this way on purpose - i just don't always have a sense of orientation in time and place and person. it can be distressing and frustrating for me because i lose track of how long it has been since i spoke to friends or washed my clothes or applied for work. i also don't seem to be able to organise my memories in chronological order, and my sense of self varies very much from moment to moment because i am usually not completely present. i have a lot of different self states and these don't seem to relate to one another and sometimes dissociation makes time and place and self feel so fragmented that i have no idea what i am doing, or how everything around me makes any sense. dissociation is really weird and hard to explain but it can make your own life feel meaningless and disconnected and confusing, like if you woke up with partial amnesia. it is not fun and if i am late, or non present, or boring, sometimes it is because i am not very grounded in the organising principles of being a person. #anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisordermemes #recovering #anarecovery #recovery #recoveringaussies #wellness #food #comic #doodling #sadart #bpdrecovery #bpd #borderline #mentalhealth #mentalillness #dissociation #disconnect #time
often i lose track of weeks and days. dissociation from time is a huge part of my mental illness and it often makes me late, disorganised, and forgetful. i don't act this way on purpose - i just don't always have a sense of orientation in time and place and person. it can be distressing and frustrating for me because i lose track of how long it has been since i spoke to friends or washed my clothes or applied for work. i also don't seem to be able to organise my memories in chronological order, and my sense of self varies very much from moment to moment because i am usually not completely present. i have a lot of different self states and these don't seem to relate to one another and sometimes dissociation makes time and place and self feel so fragmented that i have no idea what i am doing, or how everything around me makes any sense. dissociation is really weird and hard to explain but it can make your own life feel meaningless and disconnected and confusing, like if you woke up with partial amnesia. it is not fun and if i am late, or non present, or boring, sometimes it is because i am not very grounded in the organising principles of being a person. #anorexiarecovery  #edrecovery  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #eatingdisordermemes  #recovering  #anarecovery  #recovery  #recoveringaussies  #wellness  #food  #comic  #doodling  #sadart  #bpdrecovery  #bpd  #borderline  #mentalhealth  #mentalillness  #dissociation  #disconnect  #time 
Before depression became a ~thing~ in my life I would wake up every morning before school, leave my bed, and not return until it was time to pass out again. I would sleep for 6 hours and be on the move for the other 18. As experiences have changed, my bed has become somewhat of a crutch for my sadness. I spend far more time in bed than I’d like to admit, sleeping or otherwise. I have found that there are three main reasons for crawling into bed for me that have become increasingly prevalent with each passing year since the first trip to the psych ward.  1) fatigue 2) avoidance 3) habit. The first is obvious. The second is a practice that many with depression know well; hiding from life, experience, and feeling. The third stems from years of calling bed home. When the first two reasons become a part of your routine it’s hard to work against it even on good days.  My bed has become like a cave where I hide from dragons and beasts with different motives. Now I’m struggling to rework how I view my living space in hopes that it will be for the better (and I know it will be). I’ve been wondering if anyone out there has a suggestion on how to reinvent habits in their experience; habits of any kind and how that came to be less of a guiding force. It won’t take a day or week to fix (yes, I’ve tried and I’m sure you have too). Instead I am looking for small steps that can help in breaking down this routine in hopes of building another one. 🤙🏼 #mentalhealth #sleephealth #depression #anxiety #bipolar #bpd #dissociation
Before depression became a ~thing~ in my life I would wake up every morning before school, leave my bed, and not return until it was time to pass out again. I would sleep for 6 hours and be on the move for the other 18. As experiences have changed, my bed has become somewhat of a crutch for my sadness. I spend far more time in bed than I’d like to admit, sleeping or otherwise. I have found that there are three main reasons for crawling into bed for me that have become increasingly prevalent with each passing year since the first trip to the psych ward. 1) fatigue 2) avoidance 3) habit. The first is obvious. The second is a practice that many with depression know well; hiding from life, experience, and feeling. The third stems from years of calling bed home. When the first two reasons become a part of your routine it’s hard to work against it even on good days. My bed has become like a cave where I hide from dragons and beasts with different motives. Now I’m struggling to rework how I view my living space in hopes that it will be for the better (and I know it will be). I’ve been wondering if anyone out there has a suggestion on how to reinvent habits in their experience; habits of any kind and how that came to be less of a guiding force. It won’t take a day or week to fix (yes, I’ve tried and I’m sure you have too). Instead I am looking for small steps that can help in breaking down this routine in hopes of building another one. 🤙🏼 #mentalhealth  #sleephealth  #depression  #anxiety  #bipolar  #bpd  #dissociation 
Here he is ~ 🌁🌊🎓📖🎼🎧 Name: Adrian Knight
Nickname: A$$hole, Jerkasaurus-Rex, Neat Freak
Age: 27ish
Gender: male
Sexuality: heterosexual
Role: Protector 
Personality: aggressive, sarcastic, monotonous, confrontational, proud, confident
Interests: music, organization, cleanliness, biology
Reasons for Fronting: drinking, statistics
Triggers: confrontation, perceived attacks, threats to any other alters/host, emergencies 
Music: Timmy Trumpet, Benny Benassi, VNV Nation, Wumpscut
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#dissociativeidentitydisorderawareness #dissociation #dissociativeidentitydisorder #did #actuallyneurodivergent #actuallydissociative #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthdisorder #mentalillness #mentalhealthwarrior #alterintro #alters
Here he is ~ 🌁🌊🎓📖🎼🎧 Name: Adrian Knight Nickname: A$$hole, Jerkasaurus-Rex, Neat Freak Age: 27ish Gender: male Sexuality: heterosexual Role: Protector Personality: aggressive, sarcastic, monotonous, confrontational, proud, confident Interests: music, organization, cleanliness, biology Reasons for Fronting: drinking, statistics Triggers: confrontation, perceived attacks, threats to any other alters/host, emergencies Music: Timmy Trumpet, Benny Benassi, VNV Nation, Wumpscut . . . . #dissociativeidentitydisorderawareness  #dissociation  #dissociativeidentitydisorder  #did  #actuallyneurodivergent  #actuallydissociative  #mentalhealthawareness  #mentalhealthdisorder  #mentalillness  #mentalhealthwarrior  #alterintro  #alters 
Throwback to this happy chicken in the midst of a water balloon fight. I’m staying patient because I know this girl will return soon and I can’t wait to feel connected to her again. 
#mentalhealthmoments#trust#truth#mood#happyface#fannypack#vibrance#comebacktomeplease#dissociation#talkaboutit#depression#racingthoughts#mdd#rest#mindfulness#regulation#tbt#throwback#youarenotaloneinthis
Seelenscherben ….. Jede einzelne von ihnen ist wichtig. 
Jede einzelne von ihnen will hochgenommen werden.
Angesehen werden.
Angenommen werden.
Jede einzelne will sorgsam behandelt werden.
Und alle zusammen sind am Leben. ….. Meine Seele ist nicht kaputt.
Nicht zerstört.
Sie war zerbrochen.
Aber nicht unwiderruflich.
Und.
Meine Seele.
Hat immer nur mir gehört.
Niemals irgendjemanden sonst.
Immer nur mir. ….. Mary
A. Dee
Teile aus meinem neueren, unveröffentlichen Gedicht: „Seelenscherben“ /Mary A. Dee. - - -
#childhoodtrauma #traumarecovery #endthesilence #breakthesilence #ptsd #ptbs #dissociation 
#dissoziation #depression #mentalhealth #poetry #writing #schreiben #bücher #books #wolken 
#träume #trauma #poesie #kindheitstrauma #maryadee #dieträumederwolken #survivor 
#sexualabuse #seelenmord#scherbenseele#scherben#fragment#leben#life
Seelenscherben ….. Jede einzelne von ihnen ist wichtig. Jede einzelne von ihnen will hochgenommen werden. Angesehen werden. Angenommen werden. Jede einzelne will sorgsam behandelt werden. Und alle zusammen sind am Leben. ….. Meine Seele ist nicht kaputt. Nicht zerstört. Sie war zerbrochen. Aber nicht unwiderruflich. Und. Meine Seele. Hat immer nur mir gehört. Niemals irgendjemanden sonst. Immer nur mir. ….. Mary A. Dee Teile aus meinem neueren, unveröffentlichen Gedicht: „Seelenscherben“ /Mary A. Dee. - - - #childhoodtrauma  #traumarecovery  #endthesilence  #breakthesilence  #ptsd  #ptbs  #dissociation  #dissoziation  #depression  #mentalhealth  #poetry  #writing  #schreiben  #bücher  #books  #wolken  #träume  #trauma  #poesie  #kindheitstrauma  #maryadee  #dieträumederwolken  #survivor  #sexualabuse  #seelenmord #scherbenseele #scherben #fragment #leben #life 
If this ain’t the truth...
See you tomorrow Dad😇.
If this ain’t the truth... See you tomorrow Dad😇.
🐧😂🤣 This is the most accurate meme I've ever seen! .
Repost from @consciousbaeapp
🐧😂🤣 This is the most accurate meme I've ever seen! . Repost from @consciousbaeapp
Giant in the woods .
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#giant #wood #illustration #woman #moon #night #dissociation #cloud #tree
👁️ SHUTDOWN 👁️
the stigma of mental illness is so ingrained that I've come to realize I am extremely ashamed of my mental illness. I've become addicted to it because I haven't know anything else. I'm embarrassed and I invalidate my thoughts and feelings just as much as society does. It's actually okay to not be okay. It's scary, it's humbling. But if you've lost the ability to function, you need to ask for help. Your fear and pride is only making it worse. Message a friend. 
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Used @fentybeauty, @nudestix, and @milkmakeup products
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#mentalhealth #mentalillness #makeuptherapy #mentalhealthawareness #depression #anxiety #mania #dissociation #softbipolar #selfhelp #mentalhealthtalks #bipolar #insomnia #realtalk #majordepressivedisorder #bipolar #askforhelp #youarenotalone #staystrong #mensmakeup #boysinmakeup #menthatblend
👁️ SHUTDOWN 👁️ the stigma of mental illness is so ingrained that I've come to realize I am extremely ashamed of my mental illness. I've become addicted to it because I haven't know anything else. I'm embarrassed and I invalidate my thoughts and feelings just as much as society does. It's actually okay to not be okay. It's scary, it's humbling. But if you've lost the ability to function, you need to ask for help. Your fear and pride is only making it worse. Message a friend. _____ Used @fentybeauty, @nudestix, and @milkmakeup products _____ #mentalhealth  #mentalillness  #makeuptherapy  #mentalhealthawareness  #depression  #anxiety  #mania  #dissociation  #softbipolar  #selfhelp  #mentalhealthtalks  #bipolar  #insomnia  #realtalk  #majordepressivedisorder  #bipolar  #askforhelp  #youarenotalone  #staystrong  #mensmakeup  #boysinmakeup  #menthatblend 
Honoring someone extremely brave and special today (including you!). Some people fight through life and toil due to receiving a terrible lot and very hard lemons along with no way to make lemonade. And they do it! They make lemonade or something else and they claw their way out past all their fears and pain. My heroes. I have so much empathy and compassion for you and all who do this tremendous work on themselves. Honoring you today. I am here for anyone who wants help doing this work or needs to talk to someone about it.  I am here. xo. Much love💜#trauma #ptsd #ace #recovery #dissociativeidentitydisorder #dissociation #dissociation #coping #abuse #resiliency #strengthbased #strengthbasedpractice #love #shame #acceptance #dysfunctional #mentalhealth #therapy #therapywithalyse #survival #courageous #bravery #hero
Honoring someone extremely brave and special today (including you!). Some people fight through life and toil due to receiving a terrible lot and very hard lemons along with no way to make lemonade. And they do it! They make lemonade or something else and they claw their way out past all their fears and pain. My heroes. I have so much empathy and compassion for you and all who do this tremendous work on themselves. Honoring you today. I am here for anyone who wants help doing this work or needs to talk to someone about it. I am here. xo. Much love💜#trauma  #ptsd  #ace  #recovery  #dissociativeidentitydisorder  #dissociation  #dissociation  #coping  #abuse  #resiliency  #strengthbased  #strengthbasedpractice  #love  #shame  #acceptance  #dysfunctional  #mentalhealth  #therapy  #therapywithalyse  #survival  #courageous  #bravery  #hero 
👁️ SHUTDOWN 👁️
the reality of any extreme cases of depression (major, manic, etc) is that the lows have the ability to emotionally and physically cripple you. Mine like to come at night, when the sun is down, people are asleep, and the loneliness is deafening. It makes no sense whatsoever but that's just what depression does.
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Used @fentybeauty, @nudestix, and @milkmakeup products
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#mentalhealth #mentalillness #makeuptherapy #mentalhealthawareness #depression #anxiety #mania #dissociation #softbipolar #selfhelp #mentalhealthtalks #bipolar #insomnia #realtalk #majordepressivedisorder #bipolar #askforhelp #youarenotalone #staystrong #mensmakeup #boysinmakeup #menthatblend
👁️ SHUTDOWN 👁️ the reality of any extreme cases of depression (major, manic, etc) is that the lows have the ability to emotionally and physically cripple you. Mine like to come at night, when the sun is down, people are asleep, and the loneliness is deafening. It makes no sense whatsoever but that's just what depression does. _____ Used @fentybeauty, @nudestix, and @milkmakeup products _____ #mentalhealth  #mentalillness  #makeuptherapy  #mentalhealthawareness  #depression  #anxiety  #mania  #dissociation  #softbipolar  #selfhelp  #mentalhealthtalks  #bipolar  #insomnia  #realtalk  #majordepressivedisorder  #bipolar  #askforhelp  #youarenotalone  #staystrong  #mensmakeup  #boysinmakeup  #menthatblend 
We have suffered from migraines since the body age of 12 ish. It was always put down to malnutrition and anorexia, but it seems that headaches are a common DID symptom. Just headaches (I know this all too well), or full blown migraines too? .
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It hurts just to look at this picture. I can feel the impending headache and nausea. Yuck.
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If I don't get sleep and/or food soon, I foresee this happening.
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Also. I am really disturbed by how this man looks. I don't know why. It is upsetting me though. .
#dissociation #migraine #migraines #headaches #ouch #ow #aura #visiondisturbance #maybejustdisturbed #dissociativeidentitydisorder #did #mentalhealth #mentalillness #trauma #recovery
We have suffered from migraines since the body age of 12 ish. It was always put down to malnutrition and anorexia, but it seems that headaches are a common DID symptom. Just headaches (I know this all too well), or full blown migraines too? . . It hurts just to look at this picture. I can feel the impending headache and nausea. Yuck. . If I don't get sleep and/or food soon, I foresee this happening. . Also. I am really disturbed by how this man looks. I don't know why. It is upsetting me though. . #dissociation  #migraine  #migraines  #headaches  #ouch  #ow  #aura  #visiondisturbance  #maybejustdisturbed  #dissociativeidentitydisorder  #did  #mentalhealth  #mentalillness  #trauma  #recovery 
Trying, at least.

Not even in a bad mood. Just tired - emotionally and physically - and fed up of having to fight for the very basics to keep going.

FUN FACT - someone around these parts does seem to love pingu (and it isn't just me). NOT SO FUN FACT - today was super tough. Tried but failed to get to art therapy. Thought I would go to the art shop instead. MISTAKE. H switched in and bought the entire store, bankrupting the account 🙄🙄 Seriously. Can we get some communication going on around here? WE DON'T HAVE MONEY. Especially not for finger puppets or sequin rucksacks. Especially not when you already chose a whole load of things already this week. Sigh.

Keep swimming. Just keep swimming... #dissociativeidentitydisorder #did #dissociation #mentalillness #mentalhealth #weneedabudget #seriously #likeimmediately 
HAAAAAALP.
Trying, at least. Not even in a bad mood. Just tired - emotionally and physically - and fed up of having to fight for the very basics to keep going. FUN FACT - someone around these parts does seem to love pingu (and it isn't just me). NOT SO FUN FACT - today was super tough. Tried but failed to get to art therapy. Thought I would go to the art shop instead. MISTAKE. H switched in and bought the entire store, bankrupting the account 🙄🙄 Seriously. Can we get some communication going on around here? WE DON'T HAVE MONEY. Especially not for finger puppets or sequin rucksacks. Especially not when you already chose a whole load of things already this week. Sigh. Keep swimming. Just keep swimming... #dissociativeidentitydisorder  #did  #dissociation  #mentalillness  #mentalhealth  #weneedabudget  #seriously  #likeimmediately  HAAAAAALP.
Today is NOT the day to give up.  Sometimes our breakthrough moments are just around the corner from our lowest days. *
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#hope
#dontgiveup
#depressionlies
#anxietyawareness 
#anxietylies
#recovery
#breakthrough
#joy #peace #wellness
#tomorrowisanewday
#biploar #bpd #ocd
#trauma #dissociation
#mentalhealthinsight
#mentalhealthmatters
#endthestigma
#selfawareness
#life
17/8/18 - Friday - 00:06

TW: od, sh, whining

Times are very stressful for me atm. We have yet to confirm a house and raise the money for the deposit n stuff. I thought I was coping but maybe being stoned 24/7 isn't the answer?

Every day I wake up in a panic attack, it's living hell. Most days I can get through it. Most days I can rationalise it. Most days I can wait it out without harming myself. On Sunday I made a mistake.

I woke up terrified and couldn't think straight. It was so overwhelming I dissociated and forgot all known healthy coping mechanisms. 
I tried to have a bath but for some reason didn't wash.
Took an overdose for breakfast and cut myself for dessert.
Came round later on shocked and disgusted that I was gonna put my family though this again.
Went to hospital and told I needed the antidote that I'm kinda allergic to so was pumped full of antihistamines.
Hours of throwing up bile and blood cause I'd retched so much I tore.
Face swelled up and drenched in sweat. 
Peed a bit every retch so spent hours sat in my own piss making the most ugly sounds.
IV came out the vein and started filling up under my skin (see bruise).
My arms, shoulders and back hurt so much from the constant retching I genuinely couldn't move all night without agony. 
Wasn't allowed sleep or anxiety meds as my liver couldn't hack it.

I cannot believe it is possible to feel that bad physically it was scary and I never want to do it again. It's not worth it guys it was horrible please talk to someone even me if you need!

Mental illness sucks ass and fuck whoever thinks we're weak. Utter joke that we go through all that shit that causes mental illness and then get punished for it??? Met with care co and when my consultant is back they're hopefully gonna up the pregab just to get over this hill.

I know this shit bit will pass and I'm reminding myself of the things I can look forward to in my future, it's just tough rn.

I have some good news for my next post so stay tuned! ❤️ #bpd #borderline #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #anxiety #panicattack #dissociation #od #selfharm #sh #overdose #hospital #staystrong  #wegotthis #mentalillness #mentalhealth #420
17/8/18 - Friday - 00:06 TW: od, sh, whining Times are very stressful for me atm. We have yet to confirm a house and raise the money for the deposit n stuff. I thought I was coping but maybe being stoned 24/7 isn't the answer? Every day I wake up in a panic attack, it's living hell. Most days I can get through it. Most days I can rationalise it. Most days I can wait it out without harming myself. On Sunday I made a mistake. I woke up terrified and couldn't think straight. It was so overwhelming I dissociated and forgot all known healthy coping mechanisms. I tried to have a bath but for some reason didn't wash. Took an overdose for breakfast and cut myself for dessert. Came round later on shocked and disgusted that I was gonna put my family though this again. Went to hospital and told I needed the antidote that I'm kinda allergic to so was pumped full of antihistamines. Hours of throwing up bile and blood cause I'd retched so much I tore. Face swelled up and drenched in sweat. Peed a bit every retch so spent hours sat in my own piss making the most ugly sounds. IV came out the vein and started filling up under my skin (see bruise). My arms, shoulders and back hurt so much from the constant retching I genuinely couldn't move all night without agony. Wasn't allowed sleep or anxiety meds as my liver couldn't hack it. I cannot believe it is possible to feel that bad physically it was scary and I never want to do it again. It's not worth it guys it was horrible please talk to someone even me if you need! Mental illness sucks ass and fuck whoever thinks we're weak. Utter joke that we go through all that shit that causes mental illness and then get punished for it??? Met with care co and when my consultant is back they're hopefully gonna up the pregab just to get over this hill. I know this shit bit will pass and I'm reminding myself of the things I can look forward to in my future, it's just tough rn. I have some good news for my next post so stay tuned! ❤️ #bpd  #borderline  #borderlinepersonalitydisorder  #anxiety  #panicattack  #dissociation  #od  #selfharm  #sh  #overdose  #hospital  #staystrong  #wegotthis  #mentalillness  #mentalhealth  #420 
{Learning to turn inward} Your inner experience is what you think, feel, remember, perceive, sense, decide, plan, and predict. Throughout our development, we are tasked with becoming aware, learning to tolerate, learning to regulate, and even to change our inner experience. We are meant to grow beyond negative beliefs, and feelings or reactions to the past that interfere with the present. 💖
✧
When we grow up with a lack of support in understanding and coping with overwhelming emotions (which is SO often the case), a fear of our own inner experience can develop. It looks like feeling easily overwhelmed because we do not understand our sensations, thoughts, and emotions, and we feel our emotions are not controllable (e.g. if I start to cry I will never stop, if I acknowledge my anger I will completely snap, if I acknowledge the sadness it will never go away). 😣
✧
Basically, everyone has inner experiences and they are not good or bad (although some parts of our inner experience can be more under control or less overwhelming to our systems). Our inner experience is meant to be embraced or at the very least tolerated. If we remain phobic of our inner experience, we can find ourselves in a constant state of stress, unable to feel pleasure or engage in spontaneous activities. Some common examples I hear on a regular basis: fear of rage because only “bad” folks feel rage, fear of the need to be cared for because it is weak, fear of our different parts because having different parts makes us crazy. 🌀
✧
What about you? Have you ever denied an aspect of your inner experience? I definitely have! So often I deny that I need help or a break and I soldier on ignoring what my body is telling me.
✧
Some loving suggestions in going forward: notice if you are avoiding any type of inner experience on a daily basis. Notice any beliefs or concerns about what might happen if you allowed yourself to accept that inner experience. Notice if you are doing anything to avoid the experience. Notice any help or resources you might need in order to be less avoidant of this inner experience.
✧
Post inspired by Coping with trauma related dissociation by Boon, Steele, and Van Der Hart
{Learning to turn inward} Your inner experience is what you think, feel, remember, perceive, sense, decide, plan, and predict. Throughout our development, we are tasked with becoming aware, learning to tolerate, learning to regulate, and even to change our inner experience. We are meant to grow beyond negative beliefs, and feelings or reactions to the past that interfere with the present. 💖 ✧ When we grow up with a lack of support in understanding and coping with overwhelming emotions (which is SO often the case), a fear of our own inner experience can develop. It looks like feeling easily overwhelmed because we do not understand our sensations, thoughts, and emotions, and we feel our emotions are not controllable (e.g. if I start to cry I will never stop, if I acknowledge my anger I will completely snap, if I acknowledge the sadness it will never go away). 😣 ✧ Basically, everyone has inner experiences and they are not good or bad (although some parts of our inner experience can be more under control or less overwhelming to our systems). Our inner experience is meant to be embraced or at the very least tolerated. If we remain phobic of our inner experience, we can find ourselves in a constant state of stress, unable to feel pleasure or engage in spontaneous activities. Some common examples I hear on a regular basis: fear of rage because only “bad” folks feel rage, fear of the need to be cared for because it is weak, fear of our different parts because having different parts makes us crazy. 🌀 ✧ What about you? Have you ever denied an aspect of your inner experience? I definitely have! So often I deny that I need help or a break and I soldier on ignoring what my body is telling me. ✧ Some loving suggestions in going forward: notice if you are avoiding any type of inner experience on a daily basis. Notice any beliefs or concerns about what might happen if you allowed yourself to accept that inner experience. Notice if you are doing anything to avoid the experience. Notice any help or resources you might need in order to be less avoidant of this inner experience. ✧ Post inspired by Coping with trauma related dissociation by Boon, Steele, and Van Der Hart
This is my #hand

It contains all of the #psychiatric #medication I'm taking today.

None. None at all.

This is the first day in years on which I will not have taken such drugs.

See my post yesterday - with my hand holding the final dose for a little about the process of getting myself off meds wisely.

The next few weeks may be hard with #withdrawal - I have had bad withdrawal symptoms at every step of getting off the pills and capsules. But withdrawal is not relapse no matter how it can feel that way. Withdrawal can be a right shit and I don't recommend it unless done carefully and with as much self care and support as possible and not until after seeking wise advice.

As a start for reading I recommend Will Hall's Harm Reduction Guide for Coming off Psychiatric Medications, published by Icarus Project. There's a free download available. @theicarusproject Very helpful indeed. 
I'm very proud and #happy to have got to this day. It's been a massive challenge and I do have many diagnoses with another one probably coming - correctly - when I'm assessed over the next few weeks. 
But I believe I'm personally better off without the drugs and after much reading I am far more critical with psychiatry than I used to be. 
At the start of this year I didn't believe today would become possible. 
This post is not advice for anyone else. This is just about my life.

#freedom #drugs #psychiatry #psychology #nodrugs #trazodone #pregabalin #antidepressants #antipsychotics #recovery #mentalhealth #mentalillness #mentalhealthawareness #dissociation #youcandoit #strength #health #possibilities #positivevibes #success #emptyhanded #Yay #brilliant #madness
This is my #hand  It contains all of the #psychiatric  #medication  I'm taking today. None. None at all. This is the first day in years on which I will not have taken such drugs. See my post yesterday - with my hand holding the final dose for a little about the process of getting myself off meds wisely. The next few weeks may be hard with #withdrawal  - I have had bad withdrawal symptoms at every step of getting off the pills and capsules. But withdrawal is not relapse no matter how it can feel that way. Withdrawal can be a right shit and I don't recommend it unless done carefully and with as much self care and support as possible and not until after seeking wise advice. As a start for reading I recommend Will Hall's Harm Reduction Guide for Coming off Psychiatric Medications, published by Icarus Project. There's a free download available. @theicarusproject Very helpful indeed. I'm very proud and #happy  to have got to this day. It's been a massive challenge and I do have many diagnoses with another one probably coming - correctly - when I'm assessed over the next few weeks. But I believe I'm personally better off without the drugs and after much reading I am far more critical with psychiatry than I used to be. At the start of this year I didn't believe today would become possible. This post is not advice for anyone else. This is just about my life. #freedom  #drugs  #psychiatry  #psychology  #nodrugs  #trazodone  #pregabalin  #antidepressants  #antipsychotics  #recovery  #mentalhealth  #mentalillness  #mentalhealthawareness  #dissociation  #youcandoit  #strength  #health  #possibilities  #positivevibes  #success  #emptyhanded  #Yay  #brilliant  #madness 
~longer text~🌼🌌
This quote is stuck in my head because is one of the most relatable for me. I always felt so different from others around me like I was from another space.👽 Felt like I don't really belong, that they won't understand me. Like something (some kind of a circle around me) seperate me from anyone else. Don't know how to explain it exactly. Just weird. My imagination was always extra devolped. Had my own worlds. Felt lost in this one. Always taught and still do that we all need to escape sometimes from reality to survive it. I did it maybe too much...👀My life wasn't so horrible but there were things that were too much for a sensitive little girl. Not weird that I was anxious almost all my life (still am). Depression was next...All together too much for my brain, so it devolped derealization and depersonalization. That makes me feel more lost than I ever felt and confused. Very confused.🤷‍♀️ Everything seems like I am dreaming. Everything is like an illusion to me...
Thanks for reading.💕
P.S. Love this edit I made. It was just a blank background before😍
#mystory #thoughts #myedit #different #dontbelonghere #lost #confusion #otherworld #illusion #detached #unreal #justadream #dissociation #derealization #depersonalization #anxiety #depression #mentaldisorders #mentalhealthawarness #theraphy #recovery #warriors #strongertogether #stopthestigma #breakthestigma #endthestigma
~longer text~🌼🌌 This quote is stuck in my head because is one of the most relatable for me. I always felt so different from others around me like I was from another space.👽 Felt like I don't really belong, that they won't understand me. Like something (some kind of a circle around me) seperate me from anyone else. Don't know how to explain it exactly. Just weird. My imagination was always extra devolped. Had my own worlds. Felt lost in this one. Always taught and still do that we all need to escape sometimes from reality to survive it. I did it maybe too much...👀My life wasn't so horrible but there were things that were too much for a sensitive little girl. Not weird that I was anxious almost all my life (still am). Depression was next...All together too much for my brain, so it devolped derealization and depersonalization. That makes me feel more lost than I ever felt and confused. Very confused.🤷‍♀️ Everything seems like I am dreaming. Everything is like an illusion to me... Thanks for reading.💕 P.S. Love this edit I made. It was just a blank background before😍 #mystory  #thoughts  #myedit  #different  #dontbelonghere  #lost  #confusion  #otherworld  #illusion  #detached  #unreal  #justadream  #dissociation  #derealization  #depersonalization  #anxiety  #depression  #mentaldisorders  #mentalhealthawarness  #theraphy  #recovery  #warriors  #strongertogether  #stopthestigma  #breakthestigma  #endthestigma 
I've actually been misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder by my former psychiatric nurse practitioner in 2007.  She put me on Geodon when I had suicidal ideations which caused cervical dystonia.  I was put on Lithium which made me very sleepy and dulled my feelings. It also pushed my subclinical hypothyroidism into full blown hypothyroidism.  I have also been diagnosed previously with depression, anxiety, and PTSD but wasn't diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder until this year.  My psychiatrist is not familiar with it enough to diagnose me so I saw a mental health counselor who specializes in it to finally get a diagnosis.  Now, I am on a combination of Effexor XR and Seroquel and use Lorazepam for breakthrough anxiety.  An accurate diagnosis is key to receive proper treatment.

#borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderline #bpd #bpdawareness #anxiety #depression #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillness #chronicillness #chronicboredom #impulsive #angry #annoyed #moodswings #dissociation #worrywart #anxietydisorder #anxietymemes #generalizedanxietydisorder
I've actually been misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder by my former psychiatric nurse practitioner in 2007. She put me on Geodon when I had suicidal ideations which caused cervical dystonia. I was put on Lithium which made me very sleepy and dulled my feelings. It also pushed my subclinical hypothyroidism into full blown hypothyroidism. I have also been diagnosed previously with depression, anxiety, and PTSD but wasn't diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder until this year. My psychiatrist is not familiar with it enough to diagnose me so I saw a mental health counselor who specializes in it to finally get a diagnosis. Now, I am on a combination of Effexor XR and Seroquel and use Lorazepam for breakthrough anxiety. An accurate diagnosis is key to receive proper treatment. #borderlinepersonalitydisorder  #borderline  #bpd  #bpdawareness  #anxiety  #depression  #mentalhealth  #mentalhealthawareness  #mentalillness  #chronicillness  #chronicboredom  #impulsive  #angry  #annoyed  #moodswings  #dissociation  #worrywart  #anxietydisorder  #anxietymemes  #generalizedanxietydisorder 
You can have #happiness every day.

But it is okay to be very sad sometimes.

Lucy filled two pages this evening. This is the second. The first is about smiling and came with a plea for me to sign us up to drawing lessons.

Lucy is a child in my head who I've been getting to know recently.  She panics wildly about some things but letting her make art or making it together has been mostly wonderful.

#butterfly #bee #art #positivethoughts #inspirationalquotes #inspiration

#dissociativedisorder #dissociation #mentalhealth #mentalhealthrecovery #happy #sad #dissociativeidentitydisorder

#love #happinessishere #happinessquotes #happinessisachoice #happinesss #smile #happinessoverload #happinessdelight #happinessmood #happinessproject #instagood #happinesseverywhere
You can have #happiness  every day. But it is okay to be very sad sometimes. Lucy filled two pages this evening. This is the second. The first is about smiling and came with a plea for me to sign us up to drawing lessons. Lucy is a child in my head who I've been getting to know recently. She panics wildly about some things but letting her make art or making it together has been mostly wonderful. #butterfly  #bee  #art  #positivethoughts  #inspirationalquotes  #inspiration  #dissociativedisorder  #dissociation  #mentalhealth  #mentalhealthrecovery  #happy  #sad  #dissociativeidentitydisorder  #love  #happinessishere  #happinessquotes  #happinessisachoice  #happinesss  #smile  #happinessoverload  #happinessdelight  #happinessmood  #happinessproject  #instagood  #happinesseverywhere 
Hi all.
This evening i wen’t to the city to a Dutch store called ‘kruidvat’ it’s a drugstore. I bought this new hair color and dyed my hair in it (you can see it on next picture but my hair is still wet so you can’t see it that good) i bought some make up from @makeuprevolution and a pluche. Wien had to laugh really hard at this one so she said:’ This one really looks like Terror, buy it please’ oh and i bought a lipstick. 
Now i’m going to sleep, going to play ‘hayday’(it calms us).
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Tags:
#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthwarrior #mentalhealthadvocate #warrior #mentalwellness #mentalwellness #recovery #recoveryisworthit #recoveryispossible #ptsd #cptsd #ptsdawareness #awareness #autism #autismawareness #autismspeaks #dissociation #dissociative #dissociativeidentitydisorder #disorder #mentalillness #chronicillness #chronicpain #multiplepersonalities
Hi all. This evening i wen’t to the city to a Dutch store called ‘kruidvat’ it’s a drugstore. I bought this new hair color and dyed my hair in it (you can see it on next picture but my hair is still wet so you can’t see it that good) i bought some make up from @makeuprevolution and a pluche. Wien had to laugh really hard at this one so she said:’ This one really looks like Terror, buy it please’ oh and i bought a lipstick. Now i’m going to sleep, going to play ‘hayday’(it calms us). . . . . . . Tags: #mentalhealth  #mentalhealthawareness  #mentalhealthmatters  #mentalhealthwarrior  #mentalhealthadvocate  #warrior  #mentalwellness  #mentalwellness  #recovery  #recoveryisworthit  #recoveryispossible  #ptsd  #cptsd  #ptsdawareness  #awareness  #autism  #autismawareness  #autismspeaks  #dissociation  #dissociative  #dissociativeidentitydisorder  #disorder  #mentalillness  #chronicillness  #chronicpain  #multiplepersonalities 
No lusco fusco da golden hour 🌕 🙌 Quem mexeu o corpo hoje ponha a 🤚 no ar! Quem não mexeu, amanhã terá mais uma oportunidade para o fazer! 😊 Nós estamos por cá para ajudar nesse propósito também durante o querido mês de Agosto! 😉 #movement #pilates #pilatesstudio #reformer #bellsandspringsequipment #bellsandsprings #lisbon #lisboa #santos #askmehow #letsgo #letsmove #mindandbody #tensegrity #deeplines #dissociation #center #spaceinbetween #health #joy @bellsandsprings
No lusco fusco da golden hour 🌕 🙌 Quem mexeu o corpo hoje ponha a 🤚 no ar! Quem não mexeu, amanhã terá mais uma oportunidade para o fazer! 😊 Nós estamos por cá para ajudar nesse propósito também durante o querido mês de Agosto! 😉 #movement  #pilates  #pilatesstudio  #reformer  #bellsandspringsequipment  #bellsandsprings  #lisbon  #lisboa  #santos  #askmehow  #letsgo  #letsmove  #mindandbody  #tensegrity  #deeplines  #dissociation  #center  #spaceinbetween  #health  #joy  @bellsandsprings
'What do you like about yourself?' is a question that I should probably ask myself more. I think the default mode of many people including myself is to predominantly notice the things we dislike and want to change. But these things are only a part of who we are and the qualities that we like about ourselves should be acknowledged. I like my honesty and openness. It isn't always easy to be open and honest but it feels wholesome and powerful to me. The benefits outweigh the anxiety that accompanies being vulnerable. I used to keep quiet about how I was feeling but all that did was make my suffering mostly much worse. Growing up around people who kept secrets, didn't talk about feelings, and put on false faces to the world, showed me how much suffering lying and falseness can cause.
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One of the fears that I still have around being honest and open is that it'll make me inherently unlovable. That by being honest about my illnesses and life it'll make people feel uncomfortable, or disgusted, or somehow disvalue me. I'm not sure if that fear will ever go away completely as it might be true in some cases, but I'm fairly sure that there are many kind people who wouldn't have those views about me. By being honest about illnesses we can bring about a wider acceptance and understanding amongst the many people who have had the good fortune of never experiencing what it's like to be chronically ill.
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#mentalhealth#mentalhealthmatters#mentalhealthawareness#health#healthy#mentalillness#mentalillnessawareness#gad#anxiety#anxietydisorder#anxietyattack#panic#panicdisorder#panicattack#dissociation#ptsd#cptsd#agoraphobia#healing#wellbeing#wellness#chronicillness#honesty#rose#flower#selfcompassion#compassion
'What do you like about yourself?' is a question that I should probably ask myself more. I think the default mode of many people including myself is to predominantly notice the things we dislike and want to change. But these things are only a part of who we are and the qualities that we like about ourselves should be acknowledged. I like my honesty and openness. It isn't always easy to be open and honest but it feels wholesome and powerful to me. The benefits outweigh the anxiety that accompanies being vulnerable. I used to keep quiet about how I was feeling but all that did was make my suffering mostly much worse. Growing up around people who kept secrets, didn't talk about feelings, and put on false faces to the world, showed me how much suffering lying and falseness can cause. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ One of the fears that I still have around being honest and open is that it'll make me inherently unlovable. That by being honest about my illnesses and life it'll make people feel uncomfortable, or disgusted, or somehow disvalue me. I'm not sure if that fear will ever go away completely as it might be true in some cases, but I'm fairly sure that there are many kind people who wouldn't have those views about me. By being honest about illnesses we can bring about a wider acceptance and understanding amongst the many people who have had the good fortune of never experiencing what it's like to be chronically ill. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #health #healthy #mentalillness #mentalillnessawareness #gad #anxiety #anxietydisorder #anxietyattack #panic #panicdisorder #panicattack #dissociation #ptsd #cptsd #agoraphobia #healing #wellbeing #wellness #chronicillness #honesty #rose #flower #selfcompassion #compassion 
I just over cooked my fucking pasta for my Mac and cheese and now I’m just fucking angry. #angry #ahs #ahsapocalypse #kms #overdone #red #bpd #dissociation
Not a fun morning. Woke up in a lot of pain after 5 hours of sleep. We were going to go out anyeay, but my grandmother's tv died last night (probably from being on 24/7 for 15 years) so we went out to 'look'. I needed some paper to redo my patterns and new bowls for Aegon so... Almost immediately i was assailed with anxiety when we got tjere, whicj only got worse on the way to electronics. Aegon started alerting, so I went to the bathroom. 
Gramma decided she was going to biy a tv right then and there, so while she was waiting for a guy, i went off to get my things, and by the time i got back, she was gone.

Now, she had seen Aegon alerting, she knows what it means. And he was doing his accelerated alert tto make sure he got my attention as i was already dissociating. 
Not knowing where the one person i came with is is a huge trigger. I don't know why she keeps doing things like that, but then she also kept going behind me and repeating things, yelling at me, etc., when i finally DID find her on my second pass through the store.

I don't remember the ride home.

#anxiety #dissociation #panicattacks #walmart #therewasagoodmomtodayinthestore #sheeducatedherchild #dontyellatanxietysufferers #respectthework #respectthedog #respectserviceanimals #servicedog #akita #anxietyalert #foxihound #thefoxihound #foxi #feelingfoxi #foxihoundcollar #foxihoundleashes
Not a fun morning. Woke up in a lot of pain after 5 hours of sleep. We were going to go out anyeay, but my grandmother's tv died last night (probably from being on 24/7 for 15 years) so we went out to 'look'. I needed some paper to redo my patterns and new bowls for Aegon so... Almost immediately i was assailed with anxiety when we got tjere, whicj only got worse on the way to electronics. Aegon started alerting, so I went to the bathroom. Gramma decided she was going to biy a tv right then and there, so while she was waiting for a guy, i went off to get my things, and by the time i got back, she was gone. Now, she had seen Aegon alerting, she knows what it means. And he was doing his accelerated alert tto make sure he got my attention as i was already dissociating. Not knowing where the one person i came with is is a huge trigger. I don't know why she keeps doing things like that, but then she also kept going behind me and repeating things, yelling at me, etc., when i finally DID find her on my second pass through the store. I don't remember the ride home. #anxiety  #dissociation  #panicattacks  #walmart  #therewasagoodmomtodayinthestore  #sheeducatedherchild  #dontyellatanxietysufferers  #respectthework  #respectthedog  #respectserviceanimals  #servicedog  #akita  #anxietyalert  #foxihound  #thefoxihound  #foxi  #feelingfoxi  #foxihoundcollar  #foxihoundleashes 
they said theyd care but why did they stop talking to me??? did i say or do something wrong again??? they said its just my mindset and that i have to be positive or else id be losing friends but how??? how do i do that???? who am i without my disorders??? i am losing friends even if i havent told them or shown them about my disorders???? i mean its ok if you get tired of me i dont blame you,, but why do you get mad at me and ignore me for hours to punish me when you knkw i literally am like this because i get ignored??????? ive been thinkig so much about disappearing now and ghe way people treat me for no reason just wants me to do it more ... am i really not worth talking to??? am i really not worth spending genuinely time with??? my insecurities have hit rock bottom and honestly, i wont believe nice words either because man, no one ever has done anything but prove them wrong. it hurts okay??
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#bpd #bpdfeels #bpdfghter #mentalillness #personalitydisorder #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #depression #depressionmemes #memes #memesdaily #sad #avpd #introvert #bpdproblems #bpdmemes #sadmeme #sadmemes #notmine #crtoowner #ed #eatingdisorder #bingeeating #insecurities #abuse #childhoodabuse #selfhate #dissociation #personal #edgymeme #meme #sad
they said theyd care but why did they stop talking to me??? did i say or do something wrong again??? they said its just my mindset and that i have to be positive or else id be losing friends but how??? how do i do that???? who am i without my disorders??? i am losing friends even if i havent told them or shown them about my disorders???? i mean its ok if you get tired of me i dont blame you,, but why do you get mad at me and ignore me for hours to punish me when you knkw i literally am like this because i get ignored??????? ive been thinkig so much about disappearing now and ghe way people treat me for no reason just wants me to do it more ... am i really not worth talking to??? am i really not worth spending genuinely time with??? my insecurities have hit rock bottom and honestly, i wont believe nice words either because man, no one ever has done anything but prove them wrong. it hurts okay?? . . . . . . #bpd  #bpdfeels  #bpdfghter  #mentalillness  #personalitydisorder  #borderlinepersonalitydisorder  #depression  #depressionmemes  #memes  #memesdaily  #sad  #avpd  #introvert  #bpdproblems  #bpdmemes  #sadmeme  #sadmemes  #notmine  #crtoowner  #ed  #eatingdisorder  #bingeeating  #insecurities  #abuse  #childhoodabuse  #selfhate  #dissociation  #personal  #edgymeme  #meme  #sad 
I thought I should post the full image. My phone has been acting up... honestly a mood. #bpd #dissociation #selfharmm #black #selfharm
Dissociation it could happen to anyone! Sometimes we zone out and are not fully present in the body. Next time you notice yourself leaving the body try these simple embodiment techniques:

Notice the breath the inhale and the exhale. Feel it in your body. The air your nose, the rise and fall of your chest and lungs filling up and emptying. The rise and fall of your belly. 
Feel your feet on the ground and if sitting your bum in the chair and the support of the chair.
Feel your long, strong spine supporting you.  Notice any pictures, colours, objects or sounds in your immediate environment. 
Congratulations! You have arrived and are now present and embodied again!

#craniosacral #biodynamic #dissociation #embodiment #breathoflife #bodyaware #present
Dissociation it could happen to anyone! Sometimes we zone out and are not fully present in the body. Next time you notice yourself leaving the body try these simple embodiment techniques: Notice the breath the inhale and the exhale. Feel it in your body. The air your nose, the rise and fall of your chest and lungs filling up and emptying. The rise and fall of your belly. Feel your feet on the ground and if sitting your bum in the chair and the support of the chair. Feel your long, strong spine supporting you. Notice any pictures, colours, objects or sounds in your immediate environment. Congratulations! You have arrived and are now present and embodied again! #craniosacral  #biodynamic  #dissociation  #embodiment  #breathoflife  #bodyaware  #present 
Racing thoughts and dissociation keeping me up till 4am again 🤙🏼🤙🏼🤙🏼 Just realized the last panel makes me look like I'm animorphing lmaooo
#dissociation #mentalhealth
Racing thoughts and dissociation keeping me up till 4am again 🤙🏼🤙🏼🤙🏼 Just realized the last panel makes me look like I'm animorphing lmaooo #dissociation  #mentalhealth 
All dried up.

Body dissociation and impotence.

I’ve been struggling to get aroused without alcohol. I barely have a sexual relationship with myself right now. That can hurt my partners, bc I’m not asexual, so they take the change personally. We fight, we settle down, we comfort each other. We carry on.

How do you deal with dry spells when you’re not single? #keepit100 #lifesnotalwaysafairytale
All dried up. Body dissociation and impotence. I’ve been struggling to get aroused without alcohol. I barely have a sexual relationship with myself right now. That can hurt my partners, bc I’m not asexual, so they take the change personally. We fight, we settle down, we comfort each other. We carry on. How do you deal with dry spells when you’re not single? #keepit100  #lifesnotalwaysafairytale 
Dissociation.
Dissociation.
Feeling so low. Uhg. 4 hrs of sleep. Anxious. I don’t feel like I’m reallyhere. Floating around consciousness.
Feeling so low. Uhg. 4 hrs of sleep. Anxious. I don’t feel like I’m reallyhere. Floating around consciousness.
🌠abt to head out on a nature walk, the first walk of ANY kind that ive been on for a while now. i keep dehumanizing myself. i have so many things i need to tell my therapist. i hope she will be able to understand, to make sense of all this, because so far no one has even come close. i don't think i even have a core self anymore????? who am i trying to get back to, who am i trying to retrieve, to heal? who am i?????🌠
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#edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #recovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recover #realrecovery #prorecovery #adultswitheds #anorexia #dissociation #mentalhealth #selfcare #eatingdisorders #cptsd #substanceabuse #depression #psychosis #psychotic #naturelovers #sunrise #landscapes #naturephoto
🌠abt to head out on a nature walk, the first walk of ANY kind that ive been on for a while now. i keep dehumanizing myself. i have so many things i need to tell my therapist. i hope she will be able to understand, to make sense of all this, because so far no one has even come close. i don't think i even have a core self anymore????? who am i trying to get back to, who am i trying to retrieve, to heal? who am i?????🌠 . . . #edrecovery  #anorexiarecovery  #anarecovery  #recovery  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #recover  #realrecovery  #prorecovery  #adultswitheds  #anorexia  #dissociation  #mentalhealth  #selfcare  #eatingdisorders  #cptsd  #substanceabuse  #depression  #psychosis  #psychotic  #naturelovers  #sunrise  #landscapes  #naturephoto 
Hey 👋 Loves 😍 I try to give you resources that are helping me on this journey that can also help you. What are you listening 👂 to today?YouTube Video: Codependency Recovery Stages Speaker: @rossrosenberg_slri #thehumanmagnetsyndrome #anxiety#dissociation#abuse#gaslighting#healing#recovery#lifequotes#complexptsd#trauma#familysystem#selfhelpbooks#stress#ptsd#complextrauma#socialanxiety#mentalhealthawareness#personalgrowth#abused#familyoforigin#codependent#mentalhealth#mentalhealthstigma
Hey 👋 Loves 😍 I try to give you resources that are helping me on this journey that can also help you. What are you listening 👂 to today?YouTube Video: Codependency Recovery Stages Speaker: @rossrosenberg_slri #thehumanmagnetsyndrome  #anxiety #dissociation #abuse #gaslighting #healing #recovery #lifequotes #complexptsd #trauma #familysystem #selfhelpbooks #stress #ptsd #complextrauma #socialanxiety #mentalhealthawareness #personalgrowth #abused #familyoforigin #codependent #mentalhealth #mentalhealthstigma 
Apparently I’m shining today, must be the positive feelings I experience! My mentor was really happy to see I’m feeling so good since yesterday and not let the voices in my head ruin it! I made the right decision about volunteer work. Can’t wait to go back Monday. Also can’t wait to see my buddy again, I miss her angel face. It’s been a month. Also her sister turned 10 and I haven’t been able to give her an extra big birthday hug. I have been cleaning and tidying and even though I feel tired I still feel really positive today. I am going to enjoy it for as long as possible. Working on an new blogpost, because I am not dissociated and therefore know I own a blog✌️ #ptsd #ptsdrecovery #ptsdawareness #ptsdsurvivor #mentalhealth #mentalhealthrecovery #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillness #mentalillnessrecovery #mentalillnessawareness #dutchblogger #blogger #mentalhealthblogger #dissociation #dissociative #chronicdepression #persistentdepressivedisorder #socialanxietydisorder #nlblog #childabusesurvivor #ptss #posttraumatischestressstoornis #stronglikeafighter #stronglikeafighterarmy
Apparently I’m shining today, must be the positive feelings I experience! My mentor was really happy to see I’m feeling so good since yesterday and not let the voices in my head ruin it! I made the right decision about volunteer work. Can’t wait to go back Monday. Also can’t wait to see my buddy again, I miss her angel face. It’s been a month. Also her sister turned 10 and I haven’t been able to give her an extra big birthday hug. I have been cleaning and tidying and even though I feel tired I still feel really positive today. I am going to enjoy it for as long as possible. Working on an new blogpost, because I am not dissociated and therefore know I own a blog✌️ #ptsd  #ptsdrecovery  #ptsdawareness  #ptsdsurvivor  #mentalhealth  #mentalhealthrecovery  #mentalhealthawareness  #mentalillness  #mentalillnessrecovery  #mentalillnessawareness  #dutchblogger  #blogger  #mentalhealthblogger  #dissociation  #dissociative  #chronicdepression  #persistentdepressivedisorder  #socialanxietydisorder  #nlblog  #childabusesurvivor  #ptss  #posttraumatischestressstoornis  #stronglikeafighter  #stronglikeafighterarmy 
Trigger ⚠️: LANGUAGE. Also, sorry my washing machine is unbalanced and loud. It sounds like the background noise in my head, honestly. 🤣 PART ONE: What does it feel like for the core to wake up? 🤯🤯🤯 Thank you @kristinchronicles for sharing your wake-up experiences. It triggered awareness in our system to what’s happening in our headspace. It’s a 🤯 of a paradigm shift to realize that most of you has been dormant for years and years. . .  #cptsdrecovery #cptsd #dissociative #dissociation #dissociativeidentitymovement #dissociativeidentitydisorder #amnesia #dissociativeamnesia #split #mindfuck #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #identity #identitycrisis
Trigger ⚠️: LANGUAGE. Also, sorry my washing machine is unbalanced and loud. It sounds like the background noise in my head, honestly. 🤣 PART ONE: What does it feel like for the core to wake up? 🤯🤯🤯 Thank you @kristinchronicles for sharing your wake-up experiences. It triggered awareness in our system to what’s happening in our headspace. It’s a 🤯 of a paradigm shift to realize that most of you has been dormant for years and years. . . #cptsdrecovery  #cptsd  #dissociative  #dissociation  #dissociativeidentitymovement  #dissociativeidentitydisorder  #amnesia  #dissociativeamnesia  #split  #mindfuck  #mentalhealth  #mentalhealthawareness  #identity  #identitycrisis 
When your coworker asks you if you’ve ever had an ADHD assessment as a child
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#undiagnosed #adhd #distractions #impulsivity #hyperactivity #dissociation #selfcontrol #adulting #work #mentalhealth #mentalillness #neurotypical #adderall #memes #ritalin #lazy #focus #hyperfocus
For the longest time I couldn’t feel my feet or hands connected to my body. This posture right here.... is where I started to integrate back into my body. #mountain
For the longest time I couldn’t feel my feet or hands connected to my body. This posture right here.... is where I started to integrate back into my body. #mountain 
Haven’t even had this account open for 24 hours and I’m already getting this😂😂 literally all I’ve posted was some dead animal and a cat meme wtf😂😂😂 #meme #report #bpd #gore #bpdproblems #dissociation #selfharm #suicide #lol #depressed #depressedmeme #trans
And that people will only use you for their own self service. Once you no longer serve them, they will abandon you. #dissociation
And that people will only use you for their own self service. Once you no longer serve them, they will abandon you. #dissociation 
Are you progressing in therapy?
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Good EMDR and trauma therapy will help you graduate overdue developmental phases.
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Here’s a photo that I took from an expert in EMDR and Dissociation, who I’ve received advanced training from.
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With clients we identify the phases of development they skipped over due to being distracted, spaced out or dissociated (due to trauma or stressors) and make that part of our goals in treatment.
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We want you to show  up in the world as a successfully adult version of self.
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Emotionally being attuned to self and others.
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Spiritually connecting to meaning or spirit.
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Socially engaging comfortable and confident.
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Sexually engaging secure and safely for intimate and satisfying relational interactions.
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Mentally and intellectual  feeling stimulated.
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#traumahealing#mindbody#emdrtherapy#fivetowns#nassaucounty#longilsnand#anxietytherapy#trauma#ptsd#dissociation#innerchild#preverbaltrauma
Are you progressing in therapy? . Good EMDR and trauma therapy will help you graduate overdue developmental phases. . Here’s a photo that I took from an expert in EMDR and Dissociation, who I’ve received advanced training from. . With clients we identify the phases of development they skipped over due to being distracted, spaced out or dissociated (due to trauma or stressors) and make that part of our goals in treatment. . We want you to show up in the world as a successfully adult version of self. . Emotionally being attuned to self and others. . Spiritually connecting to meaning or spirit. . Socially engaging comfortable and confident. . Sexually engaging secure and safely for intimate and satisfying relational interactions. . Mentally and intellectual feeling stimulated. . #traumahealing #mindbody #emdrtherapy #fivetowns #nassaucounty #longilsnand #anxietytherapy #trauma #ptsd #dissociation #innerchild #preverbaltrauma 
Typical mood of a traumatized person with some emotional unstable personality disorder😂
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Whine warning ⚠️
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Just seriously, yesterday I’ve come from ‘I’m gonna try and get tickets to go to him this weekend’ and ‘he’s my soulmate’ in the morning to ‘I’m not a dog to train me fuck you’ and ‘I must get rid of him finally, I feel nothing but anger’ in the evening.
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He makes me even more emotionally unstable, he’s my resonator too.
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Yeah, I feel I’m alive when I’m feeling that much intensive, but I’m so tired now I’d better feel dead.
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I can’t work, can’t do house work, can’t even play games. Before all that mess with him I was able to do the last one at least.
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#megmyers #dissociation #depersonalization #bpd #npd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonality #narcissism #narcissist #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #narcissistabuse #narcissisticabuse #psychopath #sociopath #emotionalabuse #antisocialpersonalitydisorder #depression #anxiety #selfhate #emotions #feelings #copingmechanism #defensemechanisms #selfharm #selfdestruction #trustissues #devaluation #bpdawareness #npdawareness #mentalillness
Typical mood of a traumatized person with some emotional unstable personality disorder😂 * * * Whine warning ⚠️ * Just seriously, yesterday I’ve come from ‘I’m gonna try and get tickets to go to him this weekend’ and ‘he’s my soulmate’ in the morning to ‘I’m not a dog to train me fuck you’ and ‘I must get rid of him finally, I feel nothing but anger’ in the evening. * He makes me even more emotionally unstable, he’s my resonator too. * Yeah, I feel I’m alive when I’m feeling that much intensive, but I’m so tired now I’d better feel dead. * I can’t work, can’t do house work, can’t even play games. Before all that mess with him I was able to do the last one at least. ・・・ #megmyers  #dissociation  #depersonalization  #bpd  #npd  #borderlinepersonalitydisorder  #borderlinepersonality  #narcissism  #narcissist  #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder  #narcissistabuse  #narcissisticabuse  #psychopath  #sociopath  #emotionalabuse  #antisocialpersonalitydisorder  #depression  #anxiety  #selfhate  #emotions  #feelings  #copingmechanism  #defensemechanisms  #selfharm  #selfdestruction  #trustissues  #devaluation  #bpdawareness  #npdawareness  #mentalillness 
Living with mental illnesses can be exhausting. You never quite feel "normal". It can be hard and debilitating but it ISNT your fault. It isn't something you can just "get over" with willpower, it isn't something that meditation or healthy eating can fix. It is a chemical imbalance in the brain. 1 in 25 adults live with a serious mental health condition. Please don't let people minimise your mental illnesses and make you feel like your just being dramatic or over reacting.
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Taking medication can help, taking time to relax, do things you enjoy and talking to people also helps. It can rarely be "fixed" but it can be managed and these days there is alot of help available. If your suffering from mental illness please know you are not alone and there is help available to you. Talk to your gp, get a good psychologist, surround yourself with loved ones and stay true to you.
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#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillness #dissociation #ptsd #anxiety #depression #ocd
Living with mental illnesses can be exhausting. You never quite feel "normal". It can be hard and debilitating but it ISNT your fault. It isn't something you can just "get over" with willpower, it isn't something that meditation or healthy eating can fix. It is a chemical imbalance in the brain. 1 in 25 adults live with a serious mental health condition. Please don't let people minimise your mental illnesses and make you feel like your just being dramatic or over reacting. - Taking medication can help, taking time to relax, do things you enjoy and talking to people also helps. It can rarely be "fixed" but it can be managed and these days there is alot of help available. If your suffering from mental illness please know you are not alone and there is help available to you. Talk to your gp, get a good psychologist, surround yourself with loved ones and stay true to you. - #mentalhealth  #mentalhealthawareness  #mentalillness  #dissociation  #ptsd  #anxiety  #depression  #ocd 
Anger takes so much powers of me, I feel like I need a break.
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Some people become more vile and spoilt when you treat them right, it seems that the real right treat to them is abuse, manipulating and ignorance.
Practicing the last one atm😶
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#dissociation #depersonalization #bpd #npd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonality #narcissism #narcissist #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #narcissistabuse #narcissisticabuse #psychopath #sociopath #emotionalabuse #antisocialpersonalitydisorder #depression #anxiety #selfhate #emotions #feelings #copingmechanism #defensemechanisms #selfharm #selfdestruction #trustissues #socialmask #devaluation #bpdawareness #npdawareness #mentalillness
Anger takes so much powers of me, I feel like I need a break. * * * Some people become more vile and spoilt when you treat them right, it seems that the real right treat to them is abuse, manipulating and ignorance. Practicing the last one atm😶 ・・・ #dissociation  #depersonalization  #bpd  #npd  #borderlinepersonalitydisorder  #borderlinepersonality  #narcissism  #narcissist  #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder  #narcissistabuse  #narcissisticabuse  #psychopath  #sociopath  #emotionalabuse  #antisocialpersonalitydisorder  #depression  #anxiety  #selfhate  #emotions  #feelings  #copingmechanism  #defensemechanisms  #selfharm  #selfdestruction  #trustissues  #socialmask  #devaluation  #bpdawareness  #npdawareness  #mentalillness 
Goodmorning mates ❤️
Yesterday i had a funny evening with my boyfriend, we wen’t together for dinner, we eated ‘kebab’(turkisch food) and after that we wen’t for grocery shopping and he decided he wanted to eat Ben&Jerry’s. After that we wen’t to the mental ward garden and we eated our B&J. We both really were not hungry anymore so that was fun 😂 
It’s always sad when my boyfriend leaves this place but i’m glad i see him in the weekend. I’m really blessed with this sweatheart.
In the evening i really got a lot of flashbacks and Lucia started to host so that wasn’t fun at all. We had to go again to hospital for stitches. 
Today i have to go to docter for putting out a few of stitches. In the midday i have day treatment and i still have no idea what i should do in these 3 hours.
What are your plans for today?
Love 🌹
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Tags:
#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthwarrior #mentalhealthadvocate #warrior #mentalwellness #mentalwellness #recovery #recoveryisworthit #recoveryispossible #ptsd #cptsd #ptsdawareness #awareness #autism #autismawareness #autismspeaks #dissociation #dissociative #dissociativeidentitydisorder #disorder #mentalillness #chronicillness #chronicpain #multiplepersonalities
Goodmorning mates ❤️ Yesterday i had a funny evening with my boyfriend, we wen’t together for dinner, we eated ‘kebab’(turkisch food) and after that we wen’t for grocery shopping and he decided he wanted to eat Ben&Jerry’s. After that we wen’t to the mental ward garden and we eated our B&J. We both really were not hungry anymore so that was fun 😂 It’s always sad when my boyfriend leaves this place but i’m glad i see him in the weekend. I’m really blessed with this sweatheart. In the evening i really got a lot of flashbacks and Lucia started to host so that wasn’t fun at all. We had to go again to hospital for stitches. Today i have to go to docter for putting out a few of stitches. In the midday i have day treatment and i still have no idea what i should do in these 3 hours. What are your plans for today? Love 🌹 . . . . . . Tags: #mentalhealth  #mentalhealthawareness  #mentalhealthmatters  #mentalhealthwarrior  #mentalhealthadvocate  #warrior  #mentalwellness  #mentalwellness  #recovery  #recoveryisworthit  #recoveryispossible  #ptsd  #cptsd  #ptsdawareness  #awareness  #autism  #autismawareness  #autismspeaks  #dissociation  #dissociative  #dissociativeidentitydisorder  #disorder  #mentalillness  #chronicillness  #chronicpain  #multiplepersonalities 
Regrann from @lailaslittlelibrary - 📚 #LailasLittleLibrary #LailaAliInspires
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Title: Daily Affirmations Strengthening My Recovery: Meditations For Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families 
Author: Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization ACA
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#Anxiety #dissociation #Depression #narcissisticabuse #abuse #Gaslighting #healing #recovery #traumabonding #complexptsd #trauma #helpingothers #selfhelpbooks #stress #ptsd #complextrauma #SocialAnxiety #MentalHealthAwareness #abandonmentissues #familyroles #abused #familyoforigin #codependent #mentalhealth #mentalhealthstigma
Regrann from @lailaslittlelibrary - 📚 #LailasLittleLibrary  #LailaAliInspires  . . . Title: Daily Affirmations Strengthening My Recovery: Meditations For Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families Author: Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization ACA . . . #Anxiety  #dissociation  #Depression  #narcissisticabuse  #abuse  #Gaslighting  #healing  #recovery  #traumabonding  #complexptsd  #trauma  #helpingothers  #selfhelpbooks  #stress  #ptsd  #complextrauma  #SocialAnxiety  #MentalHealthAwareness  #abandonmentissues  #familyroles  #abused  #familyoforigin  #codependent  #mentalhealth  #mentalhealthstigma