My friend Margaret once said that most people fall into two categories - radiators or drains. There’s obviously a grey area but I think she’s right - some people bring such joy into our lives and others sap it right out again. As I cut today’s lyric from Jackson 5’s I’ll Be There, I was thinking a lot about toxic relationships and how difficult they can be to get out of.
I had a Facebook friend request recently from someone I left behind when I’d just given birth to Ellie. Back then becoming a mum had given me some weird warrior status in my head and yet after 17 years of friendship I was still allowing this woman to relentlessly chip away at my self esteem. One afternoon at her house I realised I was just too new-mum knackered to give a toss about her any more and after leaving that day, never contacted her again or returned calls.
When I received her friend request I really struggled to decline it - I strangely didn’t want to hurt her feelings (and was also human enough to want to see what her life was like nearly 20 years on as Facebook gave me nothing on her!) After a good 12 minutes of soul searching though I just thought sod it and deleted her for good.
I love this song - I do struggle a bit with MJ being only 12 and singing such a heart felt ballad but the words are gorgeous. This is pretty much all I want from any of my relationships - friends, family or loves - bring me some occasional joy and be there if I need you and I’ll always do my best to be a radiator in return.