Needed some color and beauty in my space this morning. These are #peonies aka the "King of Flowers" #kingofflowers . Super rich in Chinese culture and royalty etc. Fun fact those that know and see me... My half sleeve lower portion are these exact flowers. My artist @chopsticktattoohawaii will be in town later next month to finally work on my tattoo and it will be finished or as he likes to call it PAU! #chineseflower#goodvibes#changingtheenergy
La Salut - Sant Just Desvern - Collserola Natural Park on the outskirts of Barcelona. Today to welcome the Winter Solstice I went for a walk with my beloved sister to reach this magic corner in the forest just after a 15min walk from my home. Some yoga practice and meditation in the winter sunshine at home followed by such visit to the forest is a privilege and a need to balance your energy. Nature cleans you, balances you and fills you up with energy so quickly that we should make stronger efforts to be immerse in nature more often. This corner was an open cave where the energy was so strong that you couldn’t avoid walking towards the rock, resting on it, sensing it and feeling gratitude for such present. Life has presents everyday and this was one of them for me today, on this magic day. So natural, so simple... THANK YOU MOTHER EARTH 💖💖💖 #motherearth#collserola#lasalutdesantjust#naturebalance#rockenergy#energycleansing#energycleansinginnature#gratitude#luckymoments#giftsoflife#forestwalks#happywintersolstice#changingtheenergy
I had something happen today that hasn't happened in awhile. I clocked out on our oldest son. Clocking out usually translates to reacting or overreacting to a situation in such a way that later makes me cringe. Totally not the type of parent I wanted to be today. He knew just what to do to escalate my already exhausted state, he challenged every bit of my place as a parent and in the end I succumbed to releasing my anger on a trigger that runs so deep in my veins. All while my younger two watched from afar. The sad part is I remember how that felt, being around or involved in someones anger lashing. My dad had an explosive temper and when he would loose it I would just shrink. I have done so much personal work to heal the wounds of years of living with his anger but it is still such a trigger that just roars out of me. But you see I had this moment, this split second that all parents get where I could have made a better choice, where I could have been the bigger person, the real parent in the situation but no...I gave in. I let the trigger grab ahold and I allowed myself to cross that line. His mouthiness and disrespect I just can't stomach but there has to be a better way. The shittiest thing about it is that I can't take it back. No apology I give, explanation or "don't do what I did" speeches will take it away. I will try to do better next time but what if our kids stop believing that? What if they stop believing in me?
Tonight at bed I told my middle son that I was sorry and that I know it is hard when he sees his brother and I yell. He just kind of shrugged his shoulders. I don't know if he heard me or not. To try to shift the energy I did some bodywork on them tonight before bed. I don't know if it helped but hopefully they will sleep well. I just love them so. Tomorrow I will strive to do better. .
At a place where I need all the faith I can muster. Cutting dead weight. Shedding things. Trying not to get in my feelings about decisions I have to make. To all my business owners keep your head up. Keep pushing. Don't let anyone or anything interfere with what you KNOW your great at...stay the course. Its tough but I am.