sometimes no matter how hard you hold on to something, it's time to let it go. i hate saying goodbye to chapters of my life and people I've known in those chapters, but it isn't worth it to continue hurting myself just to keep a door open, just to say that it's open. i have had a hard time reconciling myself with certain moments where I've had to move on from things recently.
closing one painful chapter only reminds me of the other painful chapters i've had to close, and that's why I need to close it sooner rather than later, so i can stop dwelling.
i can't sit here and continue asking myself "what if?" because it won't solve any of my problems. it will only make me more sad. i can only think to myself that i did my best while i was capable, and that's what counts.