I love you.
To the moon & back.
You are a wonderful soul.
& I'm so grateful that we share this life together ❤️
The only difference is your conception.
Make the connection! #govegan
SENDING LOVE ❤️
#7 of a new series about body positivity⠀
Bending Over Backwards⠀
All of my life, I've bent over backwards for you.⠀
I've been a ghost of myself for you.⠀
I've listened to you obliviously tell me how I 'should' feel.⠀
I've heard you talk quietly (but not too quietly) about me behind my back.⠀
I've dealt with you calling me a freak, or weird, or ugly, or disgusting.⠀
I've hidden myself, to make it easier for you.⠀
I’ve felt your pity, as you look at me like some helpless animal.⠀
I've forced myself to be so perfect in every other way in order to 'compensate' flaws that do not exist.⠀
I've tolerated your comments about how 'it must be really hard with men’, as if my appearance is the only thing I have to offer the world.⠀
Those days are over.⠀
Scars are a proof: a testimony of a struggle and a fight. They are a permanent reminder of pain. At the same time, scars are a memory of survival, of resilience, of strength. Bending Over Backwards is a manifesto of my metamorphosis, of allowing myself to be a human being regardless of how people view my scars.⠀
As women we experience unnecessary amounts of pressure from ourselves, from society and regrettably from each other. We are shaped to strive for the unattainable: to be thinner, to have perfect skin, or hair. We have been taught to be constantly dissatisfied with our bodies and to desire what we do not already have. We have even been conditioned to lower our self worth when the public has deemed us ‘lacking’.⠀
Bending Over Backwards illustrates a process of self-acceptance. From the very first image, there is a sensation of suppression. The veil is intentionally white to indicate my efforts to preserve and protect myself, purity. The idea of time has been interpreted with the slow shutter speeds and movement by the second image. A pivotal moment is dropping the veil, allowing and permitting myself to be vulnerable. At the end, I can at last confront the viewer, the world. Finally, as uneasy as I may feel, I am free. #hasselblad
Blurry sunset and another little ~UPDATE~ This week got tough at points... I tend to disappear when that happens - don't post so much on here or on my story... Things got on top of me. One thing in particular - another job I didn't get, but this one meant a lot to me and there's quite a story behind it. Only a 20 min walk from my home, there's a CAMHS inpatient unit. There was a support worker role going there a little while back, which I was tempted to apply for, but my therapist was concerned about whether a ward would be the right setting for me given my experiences during admissions. I had my doubts too, so decided to arrange a visit to the ward so I could see it for myself. While I was there, I found out that there was an education centre attached to the hospital - I felt that might suit me better given my previous employment history as an LSA in a secondary school. So, I found a contact for the education centre. I was just about to call and ask whether they had any need of an LSA, but I decided to look on the school jobs website first (a site I currently browse everyday). The very moment I looked - a vacancy was posted for an LSA at the Centre! It was quite spooky! There was quite a while til the application deadline and I felt so keen. I decided to email the head of the centre, explained the spookiness of how I came to find out about the vacancy, said that I would be applying, but in the meantime I was wondering if there were any voluntary roles I could take on. Got a lovely response - said they couldn't offer any voluntary roles, but that I was welcome to arrange a visit to the Centre before my interview. I took them up on that offer of a visit - I find it gives me a better idea of how I would manage physically to work in that setting. It was perfect. It was a small unit, with a lift, just a few classrooms - a lot less physically demanding than a large secondary school, but still working with the same age group and supporting across a really wide range of subjects. I had never been so excited about applying for a job, and I was more or less promised an interview. I submitted my application before the deadline (continued in the comments...)