We are together. We sit. We talk. I am falling in love with you. Again. And you know. “You must be stupid”, your eyes convey. But you don’t say anything. And am still there. I must be crazy.
A language flows between us. Between our bodies. Words flow and they touch. We are both saying something. But we really aren’t. I don’t mean what I say. I don’t say what I mean. Yet language is the skin that divides us. That keeps us together. But we don’t touch. I suddenly have the urge to pick up that vagrant grass blade from your shirt. From your chest. It’s touching what I can’t. It’s there where I want to be.
And yet we talk. And then we don’t. But then again the words transgress that lovely silence between us. That fullness eats us up. I use my words again. It is as if I had words instead of fingers, or fingers at the tip of my words. I wrap you in my words. That’s all I can do now. My language trembles with desire.
And then the moment comes. I have to leave. We got to go. Can I disobey this moment, now? Words become me. I ask myself, “Can I?”. And then I do it. I touch you. And I know you want it too. Something flows between us. But this is different; it’s never the same, is it? An electricity. Something explodes. I hug you. We embrace. And it’s like never before. A naïve hug but it means so much more. The skin is asked to reply. I get proof that I have a body. That bodies exist in this world ii. I raise the question of an answer. But an answer to what? I know not. I am always looking for meaning. But the meaning of what? I know not. Embracing tighter than ever before. I engulf you. We engulf each other. It’s as if I could eat you up. I do what my words could not. I hold on to you. In those two moments, I traverse eternity. Something changes. Something has changed. I find you in me. Again. Dazed. I let you go.
Being a woman is difficult. Some days it’s hard to be comfortable in my own skin. Should a man make you feel like you’re the most beautiful woman in the world? Or humble your ego letting you know there’s always better? #ranting#rantoftheday#beingwoman#selfies
I spent my morning with the lovely @lucky_lady_luke at @worldartgallery !
I’ve been admiring her work for a short time. As I explained to her, I have a fear of hard lines and the limitations of sharp edges. I’m not sure why. But when I look at some of her pieces, I am inspired by the way she managed to use these things that I’m afraid of to create works that make me feel safe and comfortable. It’s intriguing. Her work reminds me that everything fits together in the greater, grander scheme of things. The artwork in the background is one of my favorites. It captures my love for being “in between”. That safe space. At the same time empowering, because I love that I’m still evolving into more. Always between phases of growth. But still safe.
Between a few cups of coffee and tea, we explored so much about one another and I got to connect with someone so real. In this Industry and the world today, there are few who brave the storm that often comes with being authentic.
And she encouraged me to keep the idea alive of finishing my book (even though it may be hurrrtic)! Encouragement is always welcome 🙏🏼 @lucky_lady_luke , thank you for your time and beautiful, radiant energy. 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
A lady in a red and cream saree sitting on my right. She's wearing bangles and has a jute bag in her lap. She's peeking in my phone as I scroll through Facebook, thinking of witty remarks for trolls but never posting it. I can feel her gaze on me and my feed. I turn to her and she looks away.
I go back into my phone and can feel her gaze again. I turn to her again and she looks away.
I go back into my phone.
I can feel her gaze on me and my phone again. This time I look into the dark metro glass window across us and see her looking into my phone.
I smile and let it go.
I can still feel her gaze into my phone. I stop scrolling and gaze at her through the dark glasses gazing into my phone. She's dark skinned with a thin silhouette. I think she realises that I have stopped scrolling and looks up and catches me looking at her looking at me and into my phone. She looks away, slightly embarrassed, smiling to herself. I smile and go back to scrolling through the Facebook trolls.
Few moments pass, I can feel the familiar gaze on me and into my phone. I tilt my phone slightly towards her so that she can see it more clearly. Now I am at my homepage scrolling through old posts and comments. No more trolling.
And we go through my feed together.
A diamond on the ring finger is more a nemesis than a best friend. Today, the pursuit is demeaning and the reward is a shame. But what a friend we have in Jesus! He will hold us, wipe our tears and take away the pain of our fruitless pursuit of diamonds; a girl's best friend- what a lie! With Christ; a true bestie, diamonds may still matter but the pursuit is almost effortless because he holds the heart of kings and turns it as he wants. With Christ, the pursuit is dignified and the reward is bliss because we are worth more than more. #worthmorethanmore#marriage#ladies#Christlove#Godgirl#beingwoman#diamonds
Дневник День 16. КЦ Аура вблизи Переславля-Залесского. Тренировкиииии наконец-то💃💪🙏 Как же приятно почувствовать свое тело, во все стороны потянутся. Выгибасаны поделать. А в этом куполе проходила практика 108 ОМ и скажу вам, когда круг из людей запел, то можно было учиться левитировать🍃 (Размер купола 16м в диаметре) Единомыслия и единомышленников становится больше🤗 знакомство с Андреем Верба многое прояснило, от этого радостно😉😀😁 Благодарю🙏
Личная внутренняя практика идет постоянно, моментами выпадаю. Но возвращаю себя обратно в момент- кто я? Мое ли это? Где и как?
Задавать эти вопросы в течении месяца я намерилась себе, честно отвечать, признавать реальное и озвучивать, как именно интересно мне, удерживая центр, но оставаясь в терпимости и сострадании к окружающим. Голова иногда хочет покинуть меня😂 Это и прекрасно, ген.уборка освободила много пространства и теперь внутренний голос слышно лучше! Продолжать трудиться над собой🙏🙄
Проезжая г.Владимир, слушая любимую Тару... закат встречаем в г.Новгороде😉
Ом тат сат🕉
She's called Budhi aiya (Old mother) by the locals. In the three days that I visited her village she had fever and was mostly sleeping. On the third day, she felt better and came and sat near me staring at me with her curious eyes. We exchanged greetings, and she kept sitting there looking at me and asking from others who I was. I stared at my phone, perhaps, a little uncomfortable of her inquisitiveness. She pointed at my phone and said something. I showed it to her. She held it for a while, not knowing what to do with it and gave it back. I took it from her and held it towards her, asking if I could take her picture. She understood and tried putting her hair in place but failed at it. I gestured that it was alright and she posed. And I clicked her.
I showed her her picture. My friend who's been working with the women in the village told me that they rarely look at themselves in the mirror.
Budhi aiya took my phone and looked at herself, mumbling something about her hair. And she smiled.