Love. Why are we so afraid to love someone? Boy, girl, friend, soulmate, spouse, best friend, sister, brother, mother, etc. Why don’t we say it everyday to the people we love? Where does that fear stem from?
I was bedridden in the hospital and had the disease HELLP while I was pregnant with child number 6, this question came flashing before my very eyes. I don’t remember why I was so scared to say it, but what I do remember is the regret I had for not saying it enough. In the middle of my stay in the hospital, I swore that if I made it out of the hospital with or without my baby, that I will love whole heartedly and I would tell all the people I care about, that I love them whenever I could. My kids, my husband, my best friends, my parents, my girl friends, my neighbors, my people... everyone needs and wants to be loved.
Who have you said, “ ‘I love you.’ “ to today?? #iloveyou#beingvulnerable#loveiseverything#everyoneneedslove#lovewillfixtheworld#modernhippietrib3
I love these people more than words can say! I’m so glad we got to spend this powerful weekend together. Reconnecting, making inside jokes to last a lifetime, being authentic, and sometimes vulnerable. It all felt right, from the Revival, down to the friends and family I spent it with. 💙
NEVER stop being a good person because of bad people 🙏 The clean-hearted will always win. .
#vulnerability 👑 I had recently hit a point in my life a few months ago where I just had the overwhelm of everything that has culminated over my almost 38 years on planet earth and thought "why me" .... "what have i done to deserve this" and "how did I stay strong so long only to feel so broken now" and how I just wanted it all to stop. No more pain. Well....life has a tricky way of bending and breaking you to get you where you need to be. From a lifetime of abuse, to being lied to, cheated on, manipulated, heart broken, deaths, addiction, seeing and experiencing things that will forever change your perspective on parenthood & mental health, the list can go on.......but in my present state of mind my focus has shifted greatly to what are the positives, and out of the bad what lessons have I been taught? Its not about a "why me" but about how to I change, grow, become stronger, & move on. Well, here I am, alive, strong, my kids are happier & healthy, of my family left they are the best support I could ask for, and my small tribe of women....well they are fucking FIERCE and remind me daily that I am strong AF and no matter how tired I might feel my decisions are the right ones & I WILL STILL KILL THE FUCKING DAY & GO ON. But ultimately....it doesnt matter whos behind you. Its how you view you. And despite still struggling hard inside I always remind myself...... Jen, you can do this....never stop being a good person because of bad people! And to YOU reading this, if youre struggling..... You can do it, stay strong, stay positive 💜 #youhaveworth#gift#ptsd#mentalhealth#growth#watchme#strength#strongwomen#momof2#mombod#youwillnotbreakme#heartofgold#oneofakind#honesty#motivationmonday#beingvulnerable#feels#goals#unstobbable
#grief is weird. When you lose a loved one, you don't get over it or bounce back quickly. Yet after the service is done and a few weeks have passed, people go back to their lives and think you have too. Here's the thing... we have to get back to life because essentially life goes on. We have jobs, families to care for and lives to live. However, for us it still feels like yesterday. So as we are going through the motions of daily life, we are still standing still. It takes strength, resilience and faith to even get out of bed. We take it one day at a time. Some days are good and some are bad. But we keep going. So while I am posting on social media and still working and traveling, just know that I'm not 100% okay. But the show must go on.
Believe me, I miss her. I miss her so much that my heart still feels broken. I think about her all the time. I think about the things she didn't get to do in her life. I think about her smile and how I wish I could hear her laugh again. I think about her legacy and how she left behind such an amazing one. I carry her with me everywhere I go.
I'm just out here trying to adjust to my new normal and trying to live, one day at a time. Grief has many faces and it comes in waves when you least expect it. But it also teaches you to appreciate life, gives you new perspective on your current way of living and reminds you to embrace the journey fully. It teaches you compassion, how to be more vulnerable and it also can destroy you if you let it. I am choosing to turn my pain into purpose. But just know, I will be carrying this pain for a while. For the world, it may have been a month but for me, it's like it happened yesterday.
It’s the little thing I often forget to feel blessed for! The ugly truth about auto immune diseases is while you look perfectly normal on the outside, on the inside your body is slowly and painfully withering away. You mourn your old self, who you used to be,and what your body once was. You have to learn how to live life differently and do a lot of soul searching. You learn how to become humble and ask for help when you didn’t need to before. You learn to listen to you body on a whole other level. Nothing can prepare you for what lies ahead for you but just learn to have patience with yourself.
The other day I was listening a conversation between my two oldest, and my daughter tells my son, “Mom’s body is hurting you have to understand she is getting worse her body is shutting down”, and my son replies to her, “Mom’s body is fine she’s not getting worse”. At that moment I realized something my daughter’s thinking was we have to help mom we have to put our part into helping her and my son’s was we can’t thing that way we have to think that she is fine and going to be ok.
It’s a dark and ugly place sometimes, I’ll admit there are days where I break down and just cry and think why can’t it just end, I don’t want to feel this pain my whole life, what am I alive for, but then there are days like those that I realize I have three little minds that I am influencing and look up to me at times and there’s a reason for it all!
This picture may not look like much to most but it means the world to me. Andre gets my vitamins ready every morning and my celery juice all ready for me. To think this 12 year old makes sure my health is coming first bring me so many tears knowing we are doing something right. Amiyah makes sure the house is clean and chores are done. She has been my right hand ever since I could remember. And well Dallas contributes by simply bringing joy and laughter to our life’s. All I know is I would be lost without these beautiful little souls in my life! God knew what he was doing when he gave me my little people!
Hello there! My name is Susan Sheehan. I thought that being vulnerable and asking for help was "weak". My assumption was that "success" could only come from being a certain way 😯..
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For the past year two years I have been unravelling the multiple layers of Susan. To reach back to the seven year old girl before all the boring adult stuff took over..
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I stopped smoking, I rarely drink (numbing techniques), I still love sugar (🍰🤷🏼♀️), I took up yoga, became veggie, did NLP, learned about my menstruation flow, declared my feminist beliefs out loud, Founded a Women's mentoring businesss (www.backyourselfmentoring.com), sold my house and left the corporate world..
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These days I am exploring life through a different lens. I am being myself. I now believe in myself.
I back myself. I am authentic me. Flawed and all.
I read loads and keep having huge WTF moments. Those moments that I think, "why did I not know THIS!!" (E.g. Core values ✨)
I have a website where I share my explorations into being a woman who is going with the flow. I am flowing with the river, under the sun and moon, the storms and the calm. I am floating with the tide and writing about how that looks. Check out my bio for the site. .
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My stats/labels/life tags are~ I am Irish born, lived in London 15 years and currently of no fixed abode after selling the house I owned with my husband. I am nearly two years into my fourth decade. I have loads of freckles as you can see (which I used to try and scrub off when I was younger 😯). I am currently in India checking out yoga, breathing and meditation. Until 8 months ago I was saying I haven't a creative bone in my body. I decided that is nonsense and started writing! I already baked, created a women's community and have green fingers. I have the most wonderful women friendships, some of which have come to me in the last year as I have opened up to love and trust.
Welcome and enjoy the journey with me. We have so much more to learn by being curious and following our instinct..
It’s amazing how far you will come when someone believes in you. —————————————————————
I am so grateful that I have such an INCREDIBLE following! All of you inspire me to be the best version of myself, because you all truly believe in me. And even better, I honestly believe in each and everyone of you! It motivates me to be able to see all of you amazing women work so hard for something. So many of you are on your own fitness journey and I feel blessed to be a part of that! Whether that’s as your coach, your cheerleader, or just a creeper on the side lines 😉 it’s hard work, but it is soooo much more fun when you have the support of like minded women. I ❤️ you guys more than you know!!!!!
If We haven’t chatted yet, what are you waiting for? I would love to get to know you and hear alllll about your journey!
I was feelin myself I'm this pic lol but the reason why I'm posting is more because of the caption. I just watched a video on YouTube that challenged us viewers to be vulnerable and post an insecurity. I thought, what the heck, it's YouTube and it's not like anyone cares so I thought I'd push myself further by posting that comment on here: "My insecurity is that because I'm weird I'll be too much for a man. I've been told, "oh you're an old soul, you're a deep thinker, you have depth, you're more mature, you're wise, blah blah blah" but because I am I've freaked guys out in the past. I've been told that I'm too much or intense, so I clam up whenever I am near a man that I'm attracted to, thinking I'm going to mess this up and be seen as a freak." Now, I'm not looking for sympathy or anything, this is straight up #realtalk , I'm down for discussion just no "poor babys" please. @realityguide
About a week or two ago my family had to put our beloved dog to sleep. She was 13 and had quite a few health problems that left her barely breathing. We knew it needed to be done but it’s still been really sad. She’s been in my life since I was 16, so I’ve literally grown up with her. I’m so used to always having her around and seeing her when I come home. Here’s some pictures of our trip to the mountains last fall when she came with us. Her absence has definitely left a hole. If you own a pet, don’t take them for granted. Appreciate their loyalty, sweet-hearted nature and that wagging tail while you have them. ♥️
You guys, I forgot to introduce you to my newest neice! This is Hallie Grace. She is an absolute doll. I got to meet her the last time I went home and I instantly fell in love. It is so amazing to see such a pure, innocent version of human life and be able to watch them grow up. I get to do that as an aunt right now and I love every minute of it. But, I'll be honest - I want more. I want to watch little humans grow up daily and be a part of their growth. What an amazing opportunity to learn and grow as a human being at the same time.
When I started this journey to be my best self over a year ago, the motivation was so that I could get healthy and be a mother myself. That's really scary to say "out loud." I don't share this stuff with a lot of people, so bare with me. That hasn't happened for me yet, but I am definitely a better version of myself than when I started and for that I am grateful. Since beginning I've come to believe that I will be a mother some day, but now I'm open to the possibilities of how that might happen. These photos help me to visualize that goal. She may not be mine (fully 😉) but I can see what I will look like holding a baby. I can recall what it felt like to hold such a precious, vulnerable life in my hands. I can smell what a new baby smells like. I can hear the cries, laughter, and coos.
As part of my personal development along the way, I have been encouraged to visualize my goals in crystal clear picture. It helps me to remember what I'm fighting for. So, when the alarm goes off and I want to hit snooze, or when I've had a long day and don't want to work out, or I'm tired and want to go to bed rather than stay up and work - I can recall those things that I mentioned above and suddenly, it all becomes easier. I'm not saying it's easy, or that it won't be challenging or exhausting, but for me - that makes it worth it. Thanks for letting me share part of myself today. I feel a little lighter after doing it. So, my question to you is - what is your goal? How do you visualize it?
Idag är det en sån dag när hela kroppen är seg, precis så som kroppen blir med en sen kväll och för lite sömn. Just såna här dagar blir man bara mysa in sig hemma, kanske läsa eller kolla på en serie. Det är då den där jobbiga rösten börjar prata, och säga saker som ”du är i Rom, ut och gör saker”, ”du måste njuta av det fina vädret”, ”hitta på saker och gör minnen”. Men jag har faktiskt bestämt att inte lyssna på den rösten som endast sätter press på livet och spär på ångesten. Idag i Rom är det ganska molnigt och en perfekt dag att stanna hemma. Jag har läst, sett på serier, och nu är det dags för podcast och laga mat för veckan!
Gör inte saker bara för att man ”borde” göra det, gör saker som känns rätt för dig! #rome#italy#beingvulnerable#stayingin#sagagoestorome#travel#dolifeyourway
What does being vulnerable have to do with pregnancy and birth? And why would it be a good thing to allow vulnerability when we feel the need to ‘keep it all together’ in most life circumstances? Being pregnant is a vulnerable state in itself. There are never any guarantees, just hope, trust and the realization that we are not in control. For a lot of women and couples this lack of ‘safety’ and acknowledgment of the great unknown means they create an inner boundary towards all this ‘stuff’ which is causing them anxiety, fear and uncomfortable emotions that are hard to grasp sometimes. They choose to look away or to sources of perceived safety such as ‘handing over’ their power to the care provider who will tell them what to do. Remember: there are never any guarantees, only trust and the humble realization that yes, having a baby makes us vulnerable - for the rest of our lives actually. Asking for help, accepting help, taking on responsibility for the process is scary for most of us but this is where vulnerability shines its greatest gift in allowing us to learn about ourselves, about one of the most fascinating processes our bodies are capable of, our strength, courage and natural instinct as women and mothers. It is a good thing to be vulnerable...especially when you are being held and supported in that very special place that pregnancy and birth is. 🌸
Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.
Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage ~ Brené Brown
B O U N D A R I E S ⚔️ I’ve spent my life learning to draw appropriate lines for myself and how not to crawl all over other people’s! We are learning to stand up for ourselves, find our voices, set our rules... awesome! Even more awesome if you can do it with picket fences instead of walls, with firm words instead of silent treatments and with the energy of TEACHING others how to be with you vs. SHAMING others for crossing your lines. Assuming these are good people who you enjoy having in your life, or even maybe just decent strangers who you can give a benefit of a doubt to.
Good Practices if you are the one drawing some lines:
1. Use your words! Nothing makes a human feel more respected than being communicated with.
2. Know your triggers and own them. If you are feeling the need to withdraw, take space, become unresponsive... look further than the other person’s behavior that is pushing your buttons and recognize a need for your own healing🔮
3. Be the teacher, not the victim 👩🏫 Let’s teach each other how to be together, no shame/blame patterns necessary.
Good Practices for those learning to give people space:
1. Anticipate the needs before the other feels squished, or dumped on, or overly-prodded. Become quieter, slower, more sensitive. More listening less talking. More sensing the moods of the other. Before you dive in for more, press harder, come closer... check the energetic pulse of the situation. Cuz... two to tango💃
2. Giving space (physical, mental, emotional) is an act of love for the other, of course, because they will feel relief, and permission to stay in their own energy, instead of being called on to show up. But it’s also an act of self love for you! Instead of continuing to try to break down their walls, knock on their doors, you can take your energy elsewhere where it can be met! Ultimately, no longer feeling pushy and “too much” will be a most empowering feeling of sweet relief for you.
Baaaaa-dooom 😊❣️ #selflove#dontpush#beingvulnerable#boundaries#twosides#compassion#bethechange#breakthecycle#settinglimits#healthyboundaries#bridgesnotwalls
✨Health before vanity✨. I don't know why but I feel so nervous posting this photo. Maybe it's because when I catch sight of my reflection, I don't yet recognize myself. Did I ever want hair this short? No. Do I feel insecure and unattractive at times looking like this? Yes. Are how I look and liking how I look more important than how I feel or the benefits to my health of having hair this short? No, and I know that, but it doesn't make this easy. Especially because it's such a drastic, visible reminder that this chronic disease, Central Sensitivity Syndrome, literally dictates every single aspect of my life. And I can't help but think of the small percentage of people in my life who still don't really think I'm sick or who question the validity of my illness, certain actions I take, and decisions I make. It does hurt, frustrate, and insult me at times. But then I have to remind myself that their words are a reflection of the darkness within themselves, not of me. And that above all, they are ignorant so what they think about me doesn't matter in the slightest. And that they are very lucky to be in that position of ignorance because it means that they have no idea what this life is like. They have no idea what it takes to wake up every day for the past ❗️1,691 days❗️ (yeah, let that sink in. This ain't no cold that keeps you down for a few days or a two week flu that you won't remember in a few months) knowing the awfulness that this illness has in store for you every moment that you're conscious (and even when you're unconscious). But I do. ✨And while I may not feel at home yet in my new look, I do see it as a sign of my strength, my willingness to prioritize what my body needs, and my determination to do whatever it takes to overcome the disease. So maybe I'll focus on that the next time I walk past a mirror.✨ #byehaters 👋🏽 #spoonielife#thesickerigettheshorteritgets#chronicdisease#invisibleillness#centralsensitivitysyndrome#beingvulnerable PS. Once again, a massive thank you to my incredible hair guru @_jennifer.kelly for doing such an amazing job with this cut and helping to change my life 🙏🏽❤
Accountability post 2: 1 month into this change journey. As before, my body takes a while to accept a change, but I’m starting to see small changes in the way my clothes fit and body fat% is moving in the right direction even though the number is small. I got a scare in my blood work earlier this month, that makes me focus even more on eating for my health, which is also good for weight loss :) Onward! Next post in 1 month. These posts continue until I reach my goal. #challengeme#motivated#nowisthetime#nofilter#noflex#joinmenow#ilovetheskineimin#beingvulnerable#dinaschange
The face behind the camera! Or what you can see of it. 😉
To be 100% honest I would never usually post a picture of myself in my swimming costume on social media and I've spent ages staring at the screen trying to decide whether to or not.. But I have decided to because this a good representation of me enjoying life with my family!
I want to be real with you and that only works if I'm honest and don't constantly post the 'picture perfect' image without telling you my story or caring about yours!
I have decided to go full-time with my photography business firstly because I want to spend more time (ideally like this on the beach in the sun!) with my family AND my church family.... Secondly because I have a passion for capturing YOUR story! When you book a session or wedding with me I can promise you that I won't make you stand in awkward poses and smile on cue! I love creating real moments that are memorable for you.. I want to get to know you and produce an experience (ad photo's!) that completely represents who you are!
Not everyone will love my style, and not everyone will 'click' with me and I am OK with that!
What would be your favourite destination for a photo shoot with your loved ones? Maybe a dream holiday? Or maybe just somewhere that is near and dear to your story?! #fridayintroductions#lightandairylove#beachphotography#lifestylephotography#georgiabethphotography @lightandairylove #lightandairyalwaysdreamy#motheranddaughter#funonthebeach#beinghonest#beingvulnerable
Just like that. This is exactly how I feel. Honestly, I’ve been a people pleaser my whole life. Never really wanted to rock the boat. Didn’t like confrontation. When I got out of high school I wanted to be a police officer. But, the people who I would always listen to told me “it was too dangerous and to go work in an office.” And so I did. (They were well meaning, they just didn’t want me to get hurt). Instead of speaking up for myself and following my heart and intuition, I did what others wanted me to do. I wonder how many people that story resonates with. My sister passed away at 42 when I was 28. I started realizing life was short and breaking out of my shell, but still being a people pleaser. Then my brother in law and dad died and I stepped out more doing what I wanted to do shaking things up but still trying to please people. Now, my sister is an assisted living home at 63, my brother has stage 4 colon cancer and another sister has MS. Last week my cousin died of cancer at 55 and her sister has cancer and their brother died from cancer 2 years ago. A month ago I just decided to change. I’m still nice but not doing anything more just to please someone. Not saying yes to things I want to say no to. Life is too short. Life is short but you are resilient AF. We all are and have it in us. Empower yourself. Take control of your life, no victimization anymore and full steam ahead. Your circumstances may not change but your perspective and the people you are around can . . . Just like that. Have an amazing Friday!👌✌️👊 #youhavethepowertochange#youhavethepowertochoose#loveyourself#lifecoach#selflove#peaceful#justlikethat#justlikethatyoucanchange#newperspective#lifecoaching#noblame#novictimizing#youholdthekey#beingvulnerable#truthtelling#storytime
My sanctuary is my zoning out moment. This is one of my 1-minute comfort. I am totally in peace.
One day, one of my close persons said that I am oftentimes not being present. Based on that, I started (couple weeks ago) to record things that I daydream of. Sometimes I forget, sometimes I just go deeper and don’t want to disturb the moment.
Hi, fish. Mmm fishes. Hey, do I cross your privacy? Do I set boundaries enough? I’m sorry to apply my human standard to you. Do you live comfortably there? Did you try various water condition?
Or sometimes I am looking at the fishes but my thought went to the music playlist that I don’t like. So I create playlist in my mind. If the feeling so strong, I would create a playlist based on what I sense after. At this given moment, I would say,”Sorry, what did you say?”
Currently reading this article: Carl Jung says these 5 factors are crucial to living a happy life.
This quote stood out to me. The “light of meaning” is different for everyone. I often (but not as often as I used to) compare myself to other successful people and feel like I need to do more or be more. Being inspired and motivated is one thing but I am making sure that I am not doing something just to keep up with what everyone else does. Their “meaning” (and purpose and vision) is different from mine and I need to remember that.
Honestly, I’m not sure I have clearly defined that “purpose” yet but I do have meaningful things that I do and I think that’s the first step.
I would love to hear what brings meaning to your life? Both in personal and business and how you actively use that to manifest your life vision and goals.
As important as it is to live healthy and happy , I can’t express enough how important it is to be sad too. It is so important to express and feel great sadness because it is not weakness , but strength.
Those who protect themselves from getting hurt tend to fail to recognize and appreciate infancy and close relationships. Everyone is born vulnerable. No matter who or what you are, you can not avoid ever feeling vulnerable. Being aware of your vulnerability strengthens your emotional well-being. “Even the smallest act of letting down your guard is a commitment to your personal growth.” Being vulnerable will never be considered weakness because you react out of your authentic self rather than from a facade.
This week I have been fighting off my vulnerability and failed to realize why it’s so important to allow myself to feel what I feel and how much stronger I become each time I allow myself to spill. I understand the feeling of feeling so small , you didn’t quite knew that you could ache in certain places inside you. I know what it feels to be completely angry at feeling so incapable of things that you feel you should be capable of. I know the feeling of loving so much and allowing your heart to cut itself open for someone or something and not being able to have it or them in the end. It can sometimes be unbearable since it hits every pain point in your body and no medicine or apology can be even close enough to lightening such a heavy pain. But we learn. We get better. We grow better. You allowed yourself to experience indescribable feelings that your hearts shell grows tougher and you grow wiser. The only person in our way is ourselves. So why is it that we protect ourselves from growing ? I am not glamorizing sadness in a negative connotation saying that you should always be sad , I am saying that we should allow ourselves to feel and grow from it. I’m a bit proud to say I’m a bit unsteady and I’m aware that I’m always gonna keep coming across moments of unsteadiness but I don’t fear it. I simply embrace it 🍃
💖EMPOWERING WOMEN 💖
I’m looking for 2 women, 28-85, NO MODELING EXPERIENCE NEEDED!!! For two boudoir photoshoots. Your shoot would take place at my private studio in Cleveland. 💋For modeling you will receive a complimentary photo shoot, professional makeover, and the experience to be a model for the day!💋
If you’re interested please LIKE💟 or comment on this status saying "BOUDIE CALL" AND FILL OUT MY FORM IN THE BIO OR PM ME📨 why you would like to participate!
If you just love the idea of EMPOWERING WOMEN comment POWER to let all the ladies know about this!
If you have ever applied in the past, please feel free to apply again for another chance!
7 Things to do for your Health OUTSIDE of Exercise and Nutrition [FREE INFOGRAPHIC INCLUDED]
NEW BLOG POST UP! (Link in bio)
I was inspired to write this blog post because I have recently recognized that I have let a lot of aspects of my health take a back seat because of my competitive nature and extreme drive to excel in bodybuilding.
But, in order to truly take it to the next level in life & in this industry I also have to be willing to invest time, money, and energy into other parts of my health. So I made a list of things I needed to do and thought omg I need to make something to inspire other people to do this too or at least make an easy reminder checklist to refer to!
My own personal list had things like go to the doctor, get body work done, see a therapist again, and look Into bettering my digestive health.
Link is in my bio to read the FULL blog post and get your HD infographic download for your future reference. SWIPE for a preview of the infographic and 7 action steps you can take!
If you enjoy, please share this to your story for your friends, the world needs to know there is more to healthy living than looking like a fitstagram model, eating veggies, and getting your beauty sleep! Jus sayin;)
P.S. let me know what YOU are going to do for your health this week or this month outside of your exercise and nutrition!
Ich bin ein Superstar! ✨🤟🏻🤪 Als Kind habe ich leidenschaftlich gerne gesungen und getanzt. Bis zu dem Zeitpunkt, wo mir gesagt wurde, dass ich kein Talent hätte und das niemand hören wolle. Bis jetzt hielt sich dieser Glaubenssatz fest in meinem Kopf und ich habe nur heimlich unter der Dusche und mit meiner Tochter (weil sie jedesmal begeistert applaudiert!😅) gesungen.
Seitdem ich begonnen habe mit dem wundervollsten Coach auf Erden @SvenjaForster zu arbeiten, hat sich viel in meinem Leben verändert. Ich gehe meinen Glaubenssätzen auf die Spur, lasse diese los und gestalte aus meinem ❤️ heraus mein neues Ich! Ich mache Bewertungen im Außen nicht mehr relevant, im Gegenteil, ich freue mich darüber, dass mein Umfeld bemerkt, dass ich mich nicht mehr anpasse. Ich folge meinen Impulsen, lebe im Moment und tue nur mehr Dinge die mich maximal Freude, Freiheit und Liebe bereiten. ❤️🌊🤸🏻♂️🕊
Am Sonntag im Tagesseminar von Svenja, wurde mir wieder ein Stück mehr dieser Bewertungen über mich bewusst. Ich lasse diese nun mit Leichtigkeit los, vergebe und danke meinem Körper für diese wundervolle Hülle und diese tolle, klangvolle Stimme, mit der ich nun immer und überall Spaß habe, egal was andere dazu sagen, ich bin ein Superstar 🤩 und ich liebe mich wie ich bin! 😍
#challenge#outofthecomfortzone#showme#svenjaforstercoaching#beingvulnerable#getpastthefear#neverhadanysinginglessons#letgothesebeliefs#cannotsing 😅 #justme#nofilter#goon#justdoit#whatevertheysay#outofthebox#improvemyself#omgwhatamIdoinghere#followyourimpulse#spontaneus#rockon#thankyouyoulovelygroup#crazy#courage
2012-2018 Life sure has changed. Changed my sick story to a health story. My story of abuse to not only surviving but thriving! The power of encapsulated whole food nutrition goes beyond what you can imagine.. Its given me hope where there was none before. Not to mention glowing skin, healthy hair & nails, managed my PCOS, & energy to boot!! Follow me on fb for my full story.. It was too long & it wouldnt post here 😂
This is going to get real and raw. Not too many people know this about me but I think its important that those that are going through this, know that they are not alone.
Back on October 29, 2010, after months and months of dealing with severe depression and OCD, I was feeling completely worthless. One night, my husband, at the time, and I had a huge fight. It was bad. I couldn't stop crying. I felt completely useless and worthless as a person in general.
I remember going to the bathroom and seeing the pills that were supposed to help me. I stood there staring into that bottle in a daze. Before I knew it, I tipped my head back and the swallowed all the contents entirely and took a handful of a water to wash them down. .
He was still yelling. I decided to go to the basement and lay down on a couch. As I laid there, I started praying to God, apologizing for my actions and to guide and protect my children. Then images of my kids and all the things that I would miss out on flashed through my head. Then I was reminded of the pain and heartache that I had to go through since my dad took his life in my senior year of high school.
Panic set in. I made my way up stairs and told him what I did and to call 911. Then the shame and embarrassment set in. The next couple of days went like this.
I admitted that I tried committing suicide so that instead of spending 3 days in Miller Dwan it would only be for a day. I missed out on Halloween with my kids. I did a lot of crying within those couple of days due to the guilt and shame that I felt. .
My children saved me. They don't know it but they did. They drive me absolutely crazy most days BUT I am so incredibly grateful that I am here to experience it. .
Our mind can turn against us. It is so important to reach out for professional help when you start questioning your existence. I have found that through growing my mind with positivity whether reading, podcasts, and even hypnosis, I have silenced that inner voice that has lied to me for years and years that I wasn't good enough. Finally, I understand that I am good enough and I deserve the best in life just like anyone else!
Today was a 1.5 hour nap after work then used my little bit of regained energy to get a bike ride in and enjoy the beautiful evening.
I know I've posted alot lately about my rough days, I've been battling a cold that keeps going up and down for almost 2 weeks now. I think with all the continuous lack of sleep, large amounts of stress and bad eating habits (I'm a bad stress eater) it's all finally come to a head on my health. Its OK though, it forces me to refocus and change my perspective with my physical and mental health. So if I can give any advice; Take care of yourself!!! Get your sleep, find a way to destress and dont stress eat! Stress or emotions are NOT an excuse to eat like shit!
Remember every day is a new day and another chance to get it right! Everyday be the best version of yourself and take some time to take care of YOU! Physically, mentally or spiritually, 5 minutes, 10 minutes or an hour, whatever it takes. Be kind to yourself and to others!
Vulnerability can be absolutely terrifying and strange but most of us have found it to be the birthplace of the creativity and change we need to cultivate the life we desire. When was the last time you were vulnerable, naked and honest? How did it turn out for you? #vulnerability#beingvulnerable#perspective#peace
✨So I’m giving myself a shoutout ✨ .
Why 🤔You ask !
Because I have been working my butt off to get where I am today (physically and mentally) and I don’t give myself enough credit ✔️
We all struggle with self image in one way or another and a big part of that starts with our mentality 😁😖😤
I for one continuously struggle with negative thoughts of “I’m a failure” “my spelling sucks” “I wish my stomach was flatter” etc... 🙄
I share this to say that no one is perfect and there will always be things we aren’t happy with. We will struggle with negative thoughts from time to time, but how we respond to them is completely up to us ♥️
So I am implementing a new goal for when I start to think negatively about myself😍
By asking myself the following questions...
•What caused this negative thinking? •What can I do to change it?
•And What am I’m going to learn from this?
(Sometimes it’s that your to hard on yourself 😉)
What are some tools you use to improve your mentality? 😃
It is with deep gratitude that I share my interview with Dr. Deborah Adamy! @enlighten_podcast
Please subscribe to her podcast! I'm episode #37 .
In our talk I speak about many different aspects of my life, my journey, and parts of my story. And, I am sharing on a special day. Today marks one year exact of finding out that Baby #2 would not come Earth side. I talk about this in the interview also, as well as why I am choosing to share. Please listen!
I had no way of knowing how thankful I’d be to have married this guy, back in the day (1994). We are approaching 24 years of wedded bliss. But the truth is that we had 19 years of grouchy, hormonally imbalanced, selfishly motivated interactions during that time. #beingvulnerable
I tell our story so that you all can hear that it won’t always be good. It won’t always be civil. It won’t always be comfortable. But GOD. #givetheglorywhereitisdue
God brought us together and in the beginning, I wasn’t saved. I thought I knew how to live my best life - all on my own. I’d been convinced that all Christians were weak and that I wanted nothing to do with that. It’s what was modeled before me and no one invited us to church (except our parents). I married a Christian man but it became the wedge between us for the first 4 years. We were not equally yoked and I blamed Brian most of the time. After I got saved and started understanding the Bible, I still wanted to control my life and so I struggled for decades with God. #Hewasnottheproblem
I’ve learned so much in my 18 years of relationship with God and I’m thankful for strong Christian friends but especially thankful for a husband that prayed for me to find God. Thank you @drivenbyhisword for never giving up on me and staying committed to our marriage vows through the years.
A year ago things were different. I had a job I liked. I was travelling and happy
But now, I want a purpose to my travels. I constantly ask myself - Why do I do what I do?
Even my writings used to be more about the place or people.
Now, this travel space has been more reflective, I talk about living philosophies and life in general. It is more about the real things than fluff.
Last year, I was restless, wanted to have all the answers with me. I couldn't even shut my eyes for two minute, be still and meditate. .
When I used to be in physical pain, I used to feel helpless and ask myself- Why me?
Now, I am ok with being sad, allow and am giving myself the time to heal.
Around this time, I am so much better, less hyper and calmer than what I used to be.
I want to contribute more to humanity and people around me. .
And so, I know that I want to work with children so deeply.
I also know that with time, I have become less judgmental and accepting of my own self. .
Thanks to @anushreeagarwal for just being there and at times pushing me!
I have just started my work with inner consciousness. There is a long way to go!
And when things don't go your way, you know they are preparing you for something much better! .
Like they say, Trust the process. Always!
If you keep up with my posts (Thank you so much! ❤️) you might've recently thought: "What on earth is up with this chick?! One post she's like 'I am a warrior of light! 💫🙌' and in the next she's super whiny and depressed again. Which is is girl?"
-Both. And everything in between.
I am on a roller coaster. One day I feel like a million bucks, like I can do anything and I am full of trust and just pure love and joy for this existence. The next day I am anxious, questioning everything and it's difficult to even get out of bed. Sometimes I experience all of it within the same day. It just takes one trigger to send me down a spiral. And the lows seem lower than ever before.
I have gotten better at catching myself though. (And the highs are also higher than ever! 🙌) Often catching myself within the fall and preventing myself to go into complete darkness, but also knowing how to get myself out of it, even if it comes to that. The lows are therefore shorter and I take a learning out of it every time. I have learend to watch myself and analyze my behavior or thought patterns. So every time I realize 'This is a trigger for me.', 'This behavior is self-destructive.', 'This habit leads to this mental state.', ... and draw a conclusion to change whatever is not serving me.
Currently, I am feeling pretty well. After the recent low I find myself holding back, though. I am afraid to loose this happy place if I wander too far off the safe track. I am afraid of triggers. And frankly, of backlash and rejection. I had a converstaion with a loved one a few days ago about something I learned in the last low. I tried to explain to them what happened and how I was triggered by something they did. I was so proud of myself for having the courage to talk about it and ask them for help by preventing this trigger and hadn't even considered a negative reaction. And the reaction wasn't even really negative. It was just not as sensitive and understanding as I had thought it would be. So I walked away from it feeling really bad about myself and distant within the relationship.
👇continued in the comments👇
Being a personal trainer has been one of the most exciting, wonderful, purposeful, & rewarding things I've ever decided to do in my life. I get to interact with the most interesting & fascinating people. One such person was a tiny woman in her late sixties, & she insisted every time we train how “disgusting” her size were. 😟
. . .
Now, us girls know when that body-shaming self-talk begins, it's around the start of puberty, right? At least, that’s when it started for me. #beingvulnerable So if my client was anything like me, that means this woman has that her thighs were “disgusting” for about 50 years. FIFTY YEARS! What an insane amount of intense energy to put into something so self-degrading & exhausting & painful. (Not the most important detail of the story, but she was about only 2/3 my weight & not much shorter. Think size 1. So, already a pretty small person to start with!) . . .
After I NIPPED that toxic behavior of hers in the bud, I decided that for myself, NOW is the time for me to get off that path. I didn't want to be in my late 50’s or 60’s or 70’s, or 30’s or 40’s, putting energy into something so painfully draining. Does that mean that I have a fabulous body image 100% of the time? Absolutely not. Hell, I picked a career where mirrors are everywhere, & so are tons of admirable fit women colleagues. It can be overwhelming. Sometimes I feel like I'm not noticeable enough, or thin or muscular enough. #feelingsareokay
. . .
But I’ve learned that ruminating & staying in that downward-spiral place will not only go against my personal & professional principles, it will tear down the people closest to me. I can’t afford that! I have a little girl, she can’t afford me to not continue to pick myself back up. I want to be happy.💙💜💚
. . .
#choosehealth#selflove # tiredofbeingobsessed #momswholift#takebackyourpower#enoughofthebodyobsession#separateyourshame#ditchyourscale#improvemybenchpress#improvemydeadlift#improvemysquat#domorepushups#listentoyourbody#stopbeinghungry#behappierandcalmer#selfcompassion#changeyourlife#onlinepersonaltrainer#onlinenutritioncoach#nutritioncoaching#onlinefitnesscoach @beckygreenphotos
I didn’t just dream last night; I remembered our amazing moments we had together. What a bittersweet moment it was, with a fire raging inside, me waiting for your touch. Miles in between and words unspoken left me searching the stars for a glimpse of wanting just a moment more of what we had. If it were simple, I wouldn’t be talking to the moon. I’d be talking to you, just like those nights enjoying each other over cards and beer. The most comfortable I’d been in my own skin and just being myself. You gave me more than just a weekend. You gave me the ability to see there is still a good man in this world and the realization how rare our story is. It’ll never be known if you understood that those moments meant more than could be expressed and that if you were inclined to know I felt more than I was willing to say by looking into my eyes. No matter how much I look to the stars searching for answers, I know that is where I’ll keep my secrets locked away. Worried that becoming vulnerable would destroy me again. Reminding my independence that it doesn’t need to be disturbed. It’s easier this way; having fun in the short moments I get with you. Not having to hear the rejection as I know I am not the one who will be chosen by any soul. I’d rather live to keep wondering as I search the stars for you to say something. My life full of amazing tales, sorrow, joy, triumph, and you are a path I can’t let go. Though in the end it’s my fault for these conversations with the moon and falling upon the stars. My wandering mind has caused a heart of destruction craving you more than just for what it is to you. -The book I’ll never scribe #itsyou#beingvulnerable#iamtooafraidtosayittoyou#justagirlwantingaboytoreachouttoher#maybeimeantnothingtoyou#ithinkaboutyouthough#themaninctwhostoleapieceofme