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Today has made for a difficult day. Over the past week I’ve found myself emotionally and physically shutting down numerous times. Today I was on the brink of tears so many times. There’s so much pain and heaviness and sadness and grief on the inside. In two weeks my therapist is doing a micro-exposure to trauma session with me before we then start EMDR. Basically this means I’m about to start processing, talking about and working through the most difficult, debilitating, painful, awful moments of my life. Having a diagnosis of Complex PTSD means there is so much pain from different areas of my life and moving through it is going to hurt like hell. I know that there will be a end and the pain doesn’t last forever, but I am more vulnerable and working extra hard just to function when feeling like I’m always one second away from completely crumbling. Any love, support, encouragement or reassurance through days like today, and this whole process, is so needed and appreciated 💕
Today has made for a difficult day. Over the past week I’ve found myself emotionally and physically shutting down numerous times. Today I was on the brink of tears so many times. There’s so much pain and heaviness and sadness and grief on the inside. In two weeks my therapist is doing a micro-exposure to trauma session with me before we then start EMDR. Basically this means I’m about to start processing, talking about and working through the most difficult, debilitating, painful, awful moments of my life. Having a diagnosis of Complex PTSD means there is so much pain from different areas of my life and moving through it is going to hurt like hell. I know that there will be a end and the pain doesn’t last forever, but I am more vulnerable and working extra hard just to function when feeling like I’m always one second away from completely crumbling. Any love, support, encouragement or reassurance through days like today, and this whole process, is so needed and appreciated 💕
#dinner from yesterday was: oven baked chicken 🍗 with rye rice 🍚, homemade hummus and some veggies🥦🥒🍅
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Today will be my first school day🏫 after a week of being home doing nothing. I’m sooooo exited 😁to meet my friends again and meet my teachers 👩‍🏫. I only feel a little anxious because I know I have missed A LOT of school work😖 so I have to work very hard to keep up with all the others. •
I was supposed to have my weight in yesterday with my dietician/doctor but she was sick, so my dad and I had a little weight in at home (cuz we have to weigh me every week, it’s super important😒) and it turned out that I had gained weight from last week. I knew I would, so I wasn’t shook when I found out about it ❌.
Then the evening came and I got an anxiety attack while mom was at a meeting, so I only had my dad to support me, so my anxiety attack lasted for about 1 hour⏰😬 but then my dad called my mom so she could come home and try to calm me down. So she came home earlier then she should😑 AND IT WAS ALL BECAUSE OF ME🙈
I’m always ruining something, always❌
•
Hope you guys will have a good day⭐️👍🏼 you deserve it more then me.
#atypicalanorexia #anafighter #edrecovery #foodie #ana #anarecovery #edrecovery #edfam #fuckana #recovery #disorder #anxiety #mealplan #weightgain #dietician #recoveryispossible #foodisfuel #sweden #teen #fooddaily #foodphotography #strongnotskinny #chicken #hummus
#dinner  from yesterday was: oven baked chicken 🍗 with rye rice 🍚, homemade hummus and some veggies🥦🥒🍅 • Today will be my first school day🏫 after a week of being home doing nothing. I’m sooooo exited 😁to meet my friends again and meet my teachers 👩‍🏫. I only feel a little anxious because I know I have missed A LOT of school work😖 so I have to work very hard to keep up with all the others. • I was supposed to have my weight in yesterday with my dietician/doctor but she was sick, so my dad and I had a little weight in at home (cuz we have to weigh me every week, it’s super important😒) and it turned out that I had gained weight from last week. I knew I would, so I wasn’t shook when I found out about it ❌. Then the evening came and I got an anxiety attack while mom was at a meeting, so I only had my dad to support me, so my anxiety attack lasted for about 1 hour⏰😬 but then my dad called my mom so she could come home and try to calm me down. So she came home earlier then she should😑 AND IT WAS ALL BECAUSE OF ME🙈 I’m always ruining something, always❌ • Hope you guys will have a good day⭐️👍🏼 you deserve it more then me. #atypicalanorexia  #anafighter  #edrecovery  #foodie  #ana  #anarecovery  #edrecovery  #edfam  #fuckana  #recovery  #disorder  #anxiety  #mealplan  #weightgain  #dietician  #recoveryispossible  #foodisfuel  #sweden  #teen  #fooddaily  #foodphotography  #strongnotskinny  #chicken  #hummus 
Best friend date for our Thursday ❤️
Best friend date for our Thursday ❤️
Had a dietician appointment and discussed my hesitation with committing and meeting 100% of my MP and then talked about ambivalence towards recovery at IOP today so this so really ringing true tonight. •
Honestly, I don’t want to do recovery. I don’t want to have to follow my meal plan and feel the uncomfortable feelings that ED allows me to numb out. I don’t want to feel the anxiety or deal with all of the body image crap that comes with eating 100% but I also know that I don’t want this to be the rest of my life. •
I know that I have dreams to pursue and kids to teach and grad school classes to attend and an education system to help reform and I can’t do that if I’m stuck in an eating disorder. I also know that I pursued recovery once before and was pretty successful at it so I know that I already have it within me to recover. •
I am worth recovery.  Just going to keep doing the next right thing until I start believing this.
Had a dietician appointment and discussed my hesitation with committing and meeting 100% of my MP and then talked about ambivalence towards recovery at IOP today so this so really ringing true tonight. • Honestly, I don’t want to do recovery. I don’t want to have to follow my meal plan and feel the uncomfortable feelings that ED allows me to numb out. I don’t want to feel the anxiety or deal with all of the body image crap that comes with eating 100% but I also know that I don’t want this to be the rest of my life. • I know that I have dreams to pursue and kids to teach and grad school classes to attend and an education system to help reform and I can’t do that if I’m stuck in an eating disorder. I also know that I pursued recovery once before and was pretty successful at it so I know that I already have it within me to recover. • I am worth recovery. Just going to keep doing the next right thing until I start believing this.
⚠️PTW SELF HARM⚠️ something that people need to understand is that self harm is not just cutting. self harm can be scab picking, burning, hitting, hair pulling, purposeful sleep deprivation, or any other form of harm which you’ve inflicted on your body. 
i’m sure almost all of you know that self harm is not a suicide attempt, in fact it’s sometimes the opposite. i won’t speak for others, but the reason i self harmed was because i was so overwhelmed with school and i was going to attempt suicide if i couldn’t find an outlet. unfortunately, the outlet i found was like making a deal with the devil. 
i started self harming on January 13th 2017. i cut and did more every single day until March 13th 2018. sometimes it would only be cutting, and some days it would be all 5 methods in one day. it was...absolutely exhausting yet i was convinced that i needed it. what i actually needed, was support. and it took me too long to get it before i had made seriously impacts on my body. 
i don’t think i’ll post about cutting, because it’s pretty self explanatory. but what most people don’t really know about is other methods, and i will post on those. 
stay safe please. there’s only one of you in this world, and i need you. 💚🧡
#stoppingthestigma #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillness #strong #ocd #depression #anxiety #eatingdisorder #mpd #ptsd #selfharmawareness 
#stillnotforattention #mentalhealth #atypicalanorexia #selfcare #ednos #osfed #purgedisorder #mdd #gad #positivity #selflove #edfam #eatingdisorderrecovery #recoverywin #anorexiarecovery #selfcare #selfharmrecovery
⚠️PTW SELF HARM⚠️ something that people need to understand is that self harm is not just cutting. self harm can be scab picking, burning, hitting, hair pulling, purposeful sleep deprivation, or any other form of harm which you’ve inflicted on your body. i’m sure almost all of you know that self harm is not a suicide attempt, in fact it’s sometimes the opposite. i won’t speak for others, but the reason i self harmed was because i was so overwhelmed with school and i was going to attempt suicide if i couldn’t find an outlet. unfortunately, the outlet i found was like making a deal with the devil. i started self harming on January 13th 2017. i cut and did more every single day until March 13th 2018. sometimes it would only be cutting, and some days it would be all 5 methods in one day. it was...absolutely exhausting yet i was convinced that i needed it. what i actually needed, was support. and it took me too long to get it before i had made seriously impacts on my body. i don’t think i’ll post about cutting, because it’s pretty self explanatory. but what most people don’t really know about is other methods, and i will post on those. stay safe please. there’s only one of you in this world, and i need you. 💚🧡 #stoppingthestigma  #mentalhealthawareness  #mentalillness  #strong  #ocd  #depression  #anxiety  #eatingdisorder  #mpd  #ptsd  #selfharmawareness  #stillnotforattention  #mentalhealth  #atypicalanorexia  #selfcare  #ednos  #osfed  #purgedisorder  #mdd  #gad  #positivity  #selflove  #edfam  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #recoverywin  #anorexiarecovery  #selfcare  #selfharmrecovery 
Lunch! Was Chipotle! Surprise surprise...it’s oddly a safe food who would’ve thought. I want to work out so so so so badly. I haven’t been to the gym since the end of August. My dietician recommended against it, and I respect her and her opinion so I haven’t but that doesn’t make it any easier. I miss running mostly, and spin class. I feel so lazy. Blech. 
In other news I upgraded my phone today! I went from a Galaxy S7 to an IPhone 8+ and I am very very happy with my choice! I love it! #merrychristmastome #iphone 
#ana #mia #anorexia #bulimia #eatingdisorder #edsucks #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexiarecovery #recoverywarriors #atypicalanorexia #exerciseaddiction #HAES #osfed
Lunch! Was Chipotle! Surprise surprise...it’s oddly a safe food who would’ve thought. I want to work out so so so so badly. I haven’t been to the gym since the end of August. My dietician recommended against it, and I respect her and her opinion so I haven’t but that doesn’t make it any easier. I miss running mostly, and spin class. I feel so lazy. Blech. In other news I upgraded my phone today! I went from a Galaxy S7 to an IPhone 8+ and I am very very happy with my choice! I love it! #merrychristmastome  #iphone  #ana  #mia  #anorexia  #bulimia  #eatingdisorder  #edsucks  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #anorexiarecovery  #recoverywarriors  #atypicalanorexia  #exerciseaddiction  #HAES  #osfed 
So tonight my family took me out to dinner. I hate going out to dinner because of things like grease and calories and such. So i ordered grilled chicken, steamed broccli and sweet patato fries. It wasnt too difficult however i went to the bathroom afterwards and lifted up my shirt turning sideways finding my stomach to have expanded. I have a headache and negative thoughts racing through me right now. I hate eating. 
#fallenwings #atypicalanorexia #butterfly #foodsuckssometimes
So tonight my family took me out to dinner. I hate going out to dinner because of things like grease and calories and such. So i ordered grilled chicken, steamed broccli and sweet patato fries. It wasnt too difficult however i went to the bathroom afterwards and lifted up my shirt turning sideways finding my stomach to have expanded. I have a headache and negative thoughts racing through me right now. I hate eating. #fallenwings  #atypicalanorexia  #butterfly  #foodsuckssometimes 
Announcing Dr. Muhlheim's book signing and Q and A in Kansas City on Thursday, December 6th, 7 to 9 pm at First Call, 9091 State Line Road. Food will be provided. The event is free. Thanks to Missouri Eating Disorders Association-Kansas City for hosting! Hope to see you there. Please RSVP to: http://bit.ly/KCMuhlheim @moedastl  @NewHarbinger

#eatingdisorderrecovery#recoveryispossible #fbt #familybasedtreatment #treatmentworks#edawareness #edwarrior #edsurvivor#nofoodsofflimit #antidiet #nondiet #haes#healthateverysize #EDTLA#eatingdisordertherapyLA #prorecovery#bingeeatingdisorder #bodypositive#fatpositive #atypicalanorexia#bulimiarecovery #KansasCity #KansasCityEatingDisorder #teeneatingdisorder
Announcing Dr. Muhlheim's book signing and Q and A in Kansas City on Thursday, December 6th, 7 to 9 pm at First Call, 9091 State Line Road. Food will be provided. The event is free. Thanks to Missouri Eating Disorders Association-Kansas City for hosting! Hope to see you there. Please RSVP to: http://bit.ly/KCMuhlheim @moedastl @NewHarbinger #eatingdisorderrecovery #recoveryispossible  #fbt  #familybasedtreatment  #treatmentworks #edawareness  #edwarrior  #edsurvivor #nofoodsofflimit  #antidiet  #nondiet  #haes #healthateverysize  #EDTLA #eatingdisordertherapyLA  #prorecovery #bingeeatingdisorder  #bodypositive #fatpositive  #atypicalanorexia #bulimiarecovery  #KansasCity  #KansasCityEatingDisorder  #teeneatingdisorder 
A definite challenge I face is grocery shopping trying to find foods that don’t scare me with their nutrition labels triggers a fair bit of anxiety.
#eatingdisorderrecovery #eatittobeatit #atypicalanorexia #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #recoveryisworthit #recoveringaussies #bpdrecovery
🙌🏻 I can’t express this enough People with Anorexia Nervosa aren’t just those with low BMI people who are at healthy weight or overweight can suffer from this to. It isn’t the outwards appearance but what is going inside the mind of those who suffer!! #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatittobeatit #atypicalanorexia #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #kickinganasbutt #recoveryisworthit #recoveringaussies #bpdrecovery
6.40pm- Dinner! When its late, when I’ve just walked back from a lecture and I’m too tired to cook, I always seem to end up making oatmeal 😂 But it’s so delicious and healthy and filling so of course I have it! 
Eating today has improved after that blip, so hopefully this will keep going!

#eatittobeatit #edfam #eatingdisorderrecovery #atypicalanorexia #strongnotskinny #edwarrior #edsoldier
today’s lunch!! smoothie bowl (greek yogurt, strawberries, blueberries, and orange juice) with banana, granola, and chocolate chips 😛 my brain is telling me this isn’t a “lunch” food but my stomach is telling me it’s what i want right now. guess who i’m listening to?
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#osfed #osfedrecovery #mentalhealth #mentalhealthrecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #atypicalanorexia #positivity #optimism #encouragement #motivation #motivationalquotes #depression #depressionrecovery #selfcompassion #selfcare #selflove #ed #edrecovery #edwarrior #prorecovery #bodypositivity #haes #recovery #edfighter #prorecovery
today’s lunch!! smoothie bowl (greek yogurt, strawberries, blueberries, and orange juice) with banana, granola, and chocolate chips 😛 my brain is telling me this isn’t a “lunch” food but my stomach is telling me it’s what i want right now. guess who i’m listening to? ✨ #osfed  #osfedrecovery  #mentalhealth  #mentalhealthrecovery  #eatingdisorder  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #anorexia  #anorexiarecovery  #atypicalanorexia  #positivity  #optimism  #encouragement  #motivation  #motivationalquotes  #depression  #depressionrecovery  #selfcompassion  #selfcare  #selflove  #ed  #edrecovery  #edwarrior  #prorecovery  #bodypositivity  #haes  #recovery  #edfighter  #prorecovery 
19/11/18;
afternoon snack!
🌸 dark chocolate raspberry bounce ball
finally finished trying the new bounce balls!!! this one wasn’t as good as i was expecting (as a contrast to this morning’s snack)

#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillnessrecovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorderawareness #edawareness #atypicalanorexia #ednos #osfed #atypicalanorexiarecovery #ednosrecovery #osfedrecovery #atypicalanorexiaawareness #ednosawareness #osfedawareness #fooddiary #foodjournal #mealplan #recoverywarrior
19/11/18; afternoon snack! 🌸 dark chocolate raspberry bounce ball finally finished trying the new bounce balls!!! this one wasn’t as good as i was expecting (as a contrast to this morning’s snack) #mentalhealth  #mentalhealthawareness  #mentalillnessrecovery  #edrecovery  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #eatingdisorderawareness  #edawareness  #atypicalanorexia  #ednos  #osfed  #atypicalanorexiarecovery  #ednosrecovery  #osfedrecovery  #atypicalanorexiaawareness  #ednosawareness  #osfedawareness  #fooddiary  #foodjournal  #mealplan  #recoverywarrior 
19/11/18;
lunch!
🌸 chicken slices
🌸 edamame and pulse salad
dessert:
🌸 yeo valley greek honey yoghurt
🌸 an apple
ok but how aesthetic is this oml hi

#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillnessrecovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorderawareness #edawareness #atypicalanorexia #ednos #osfed #atypicalanorexiarecovery #ednosrecovery #osfedrecovery #atypicalanorexiaawareness #ednosawareness #osfedawareness #fooddiary #foodjournal #mealplan #recoverywarrior
19/11/18; lunch! 🌸 chicken slices 🌸 edamame and pulse salad dessert: 🌸 yeo valley greek honey yoghurt 🌸 an apple ok but how aesthetic is this oml hi #mentalhealth  #mentalhealthawareness  #mentalillnessrecovery  #edrecovery  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #eatingdisorderawareness  #edawareness  #atypicalanorexia  #ednos  #osfed  #atypicalanorexiarecovery  #ednosrecovery  #osfedrecovery  #atypicalanorexiaawareness  #ednosawareness  #osfedawareness  #fooddiary  #foodjournal  #mealplan  #recoverywarrior 
Tbh i don't wanna talk about today...
I fucked it up.
Tomorrow i will take pictures of my food again and i hope i can stay at least under 550 calories.
🍂
#Thin#skinny#fat#selfhate#notproana#anorexia#food#restrictive#restrictingcalories#thinspo#goals#thighgap#flatstomach#hatemyself#anorexianervosa#atypicalanorexia#juswannabeskinny#underweight#sad
This is the first thing I will have eaten today. I've had 2 coffees and 2 cups of tea and that's it so far. Doing well! 🙄
#ana #atypicalanorexia #atypicalanorexiarecovery #anorexiarecovery #dinner #instayum#instafood #sandwich
18/11/18;
dinner!
🌸 veggie stir fry
🌸 some left over beef salad
🌸 rice
dessert:
🌸 some chocolate
🌸 a pomegranate
FINALLY JUST SHUTTING TF UP AND LETTING MY PARENTS DO MA DINNER!!! HELL YA!!!! #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillnessrecovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorderawareness #edawareness #atypicalanorexia #ednos #osfed #atypicalanorexiarecovery #ednosrecovery #osfedrecovery #atypicalanorexiaawareness #ednosawareness #osfedawareness #fooddiary #foodjournal #mealplan #recoverywarrior
18/11/18; dinner! 🌸 veggie stir fry 🌸 some left over beef salad 🌸 rice dessert: 🌸 some chocolate 🌸 a pomegranate FINALLY JUST SHUTTING TF UP AND LETTING MY PARENTS DO MA DINNER!!! HELL YA!!!! #mentalhealth  #mentalhealthawareness  #mentalillnessrecovery  #edrecovery  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #eatingdisorderawareness  #edawareness  #atypicalanorexia  #ednos  #osfed  #atypicalanorexiarecovery  #ednosrecovery  #osfedrecovery  #atypicalanorexiaawareness  #ednosawareness  #osfedawareness  #fooddiary  #foodjournal  #mealplan  #recoverywarrior 
During treatment, it is important to think about the foods that your teen liked before any disordered eating started.
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Creating a list of the foods that your child enjoyed long before their eating disorder will be useful in supporting them to return to foods that they probably stopped eating.
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Watch a short YouTube video where Lauren Muhlheim, PsyD discusses what is important when making this list. Link in Bio.
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#eatingdisorderrecovery #recoveryispossible #fbt #familybasedtreatment #treatmentworks #edawareness #edwarrior #edsurvivor #nofoodsofflimit #antidiet #nondiet #haes #healthateverysize #EDTLA #eatingdisordertherapyLA #prorecovery #bingeeatingdisorder #bodypositive #fatpositive #atypicalanorexia #atypicalanorexianervosa #atypicalanorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #bodyimage
During treatment, it is important to think about the foods that your teen liked before any disordered eating started. . Creating a list of the foods that your child enjoyed long before their eating disorder will be useful in supporting them to return to foods that they probably stopped eating. . Watch a short YouTube video where Lauren Muhlheim, PsyD discusses what is important when making this list. Link in Bio. . . . . . #eatingdisorderrecovery  #recoveryispossible  #fbt  #familybasedtreatment  #treatmentworks  #edawareness  #edwarrior  #edsurvivor  #nofoodsofflimit  #antidiet  #nondiet  #haes  #healthateverysize  #EDTLA  #eatingdisordertherapyLA  #prorecovery  #bingeeatingdisorder  #bodypositive  #fatpositive  #atypicalanorexia  #atypicalanorexianervosa  #atypicalanorexiarecovery  #bulimiarecovery  #bodyimage 
Sometimes when your head is being a little shit you’ve got to get up, get dressed, and get your arse down to costa to try and attempt some work for the lecture you didn’t make it to. Body image is poop today 💩 hence why I didn’t go to uni, but a lot of persuasion and positive self-talk later, I threw on some ‘safe’ clothes and decided to brave leaving the flat. Headphones on, a fab @disney playlist and promises of a @costacoffee coconut vanilla latte later and I finally got some revision done for my mid-term this week. And feeling a little better than I did this morning, I’m now back in my flat with a hot water bottle snuggled in a blanket for a bit of a breather before trying to get on with a bit more work this afternoon. Not every day will go to plan, and that’s alright. I just need to try be a bit more compassionate with myself and to let myself feel my feelings without trying to hide or suppress them and that’s ok 💓 #anorexia #ednos #anorexianervosa #atypicalanorexia #depression #anxiety #bpd #recovery #recover #health #strongnotskinny #operationnotgiveafuck #recoveryqueen #anorexiarecovery #balancednotclean #recoveryisworthit #anawho #ed #edrecovery #realrecovery #prorecovery
Sometimes when your head is being a little shit you’ve got to get up, get dressed, and get your arse down to costa to try and attempt some work for the lecture you didn’t make it to. Body image is poop today 💩 hence why I didn’t go to uni, but a lot of persuasion and positive self-talk later, I threw on some ‘safe’ clothes and decided to brave leaving the flat. Headphones on, a fab @disney playlist and promises of a @costacoffee coconut vanilla latte later and I finally got some revision done for my mid-term this week. And feeling a little better than I did this morning, I’m now back in my flat with a hot water bottle snuggled in a blanket for a bit of a breather before trying to get on with a bit more work this afternoon. Not every day will go to plan, and that’s alright. I just need to try be a bit more compassionate with myself and to let myself feel my feelings without trying to hide or suppress them and that’s ok 💓 #anorexia  #ednos  #anorexianervosa  #atypicalanorexia  #depression  #anxiety  #bpd  #recovery  #recover  #health  #strongnotskinny  #operationnotgiveafuck  #recoveryqueen  #anorexiarecovery  #balancednotclean  #recoveryisworthit  #anawho  #ed  #edrecovery  #realrecovery  #prorecovery 
TW: Eating disorders, depresion, self harm
So I made this account thinking that kids from my school might find it, so until now I've decided not to open up about my struggles. But why should I have to keep hiding my mental health issues in fear that I'll be made fun of again? Have nasty rumors spread about me like I did in middle school when someone saw my scars? That's on them; not me. So here's a bit of my story. Please look at the trigger warning above before reading.
This is me as a toddler. A happy little girl that didn't realize what was to come. A 'happy' little girl that at about the age of only five years old began to hate her body. A scared little girl that listened to her parents fights. A sad little girl that never got involved with hobbies until thirteen because her parents were busy. A depressed little girl that began restricting her food intake at ten years old and obsessively washing her hands. She fell deeper into her depression over the years and began to restrict even more until she began to feel cold and dizzy. A 14 year old girl that felt completely hopeless. A 16 year old girl that made friends but could never keep them. A 17 year old girl that wants to fight. An almost 18 year old girl that is taking control of her life back one step at a time. Struggling with mental illness is never easy. There's so much you need to put in for recovery and it is hard. But I can promise you,  it's worth it 100%. Self love, self care and forgiving myself has been hard to do lately. But I only want to grow stronger from here on out and continue making all the progress I can.
#selflove #selfcare #bodypositive #bodypositivity #edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #atypicalanorexia #depressionrecovery #weareflawed #notmeanttobeperfect #loveyourself #forgiveyourself #supportyourself #positivity #itwillgetbetter #healthynothungry #wereonlyhuman #endthestigma #nami #neda #wedontneedtohide
TW: Eating disorders, depresion, self harm So I made this account thinking that kids from my school might find it, so until now I've decided not to open up about my struggles. But why should I have to keep hiding my mental health issues in fear that I'll be made fun of again? Have nasty rumors spread about me like I did in middle school when someone saw my scars? That's on them; not me. So here's a bit of my story. Please look at the trigger warning above before reading. This is me as a toddler. A happy little girl that didn't realize what was to come. A 'happy' little girl that at about the age of only five years old began to hate her body. A scared little girl that listened to her parents fights. A sad little girl that never got involved with hobbies until thirteen because her parents were busy. A depressed little girl that began restricting her food intake at ten years old and obsessively washing her hands. She fell deeper into her depression over the years and began to restrict even more until she began to feel cold and dizzy. A 14 year old girl that felt completely hopeless. A 16 year old girl that made friends but could never keep them. A 17 year old girl that wants to fight. An almost 18 year old girl that is taking control of her life back one step at a time. Struggling with mental illness is never easy. There's so much you need to put in for recovery and it is hard. But I can promise you, it's worth it 100%. Self love, self care and forgiving myself has been hard to do lately. But I only want to grow stronger from here on out and continue making all the progress I can. #selflove  #selfcare  #bodypositive  #bodypositivity  #edrecovery  #anorexiarecovery  #atypicalanorexia  #depressionrecovery  #weareflawed  #notmeanttobeperfect  #loveyourself  #forgiveyourself  #supportyourself  #positivity  #itwillgetbetter  #healthynothungry  #wereonlyhuman  #endthestigma  #nami  #neda  #wedontneedtohide 
Little sisters are made for long phone calls, motivation, inspiration and just chewing the fat really. Making a “plan of attack” for tomorrow. Haven’t left the house much in a while. My room has a lot of associations of really flat moods and intense eating disorder thoughts, seeing as I hadn’t been well since we moved in a few weeks ago. Tomorrow, I’m going to get out of the house and do some shopping. Hopefully by the end of the day, I’ll have finished all my Christmas shopping (thank god for online shopping!) and will have prepared some food other than supplements to attempt as well. Baby steps...
Little sisters are made for long phone calls, motivation, inspiration and just chewing the fat really. Making a “plan of attack” for tomorrow. Haven’t left the house much in a while. My room has a lot of associations of really flat moods and intense eating disorder thoughts, seeing as I hadn’t been well since we moved in a few weeks ago. Tomorrow, I’m going to get out of the house and do some shopping. Hopefully by the end of the day, I’ll have finished all my Christmas shopping (thank god for online shopping!) and will have prepared some food other than supplements to attempt as well. Baby steps...
Hey y’all, have a great day. Keep fighting & keep going. Remember, you are enough💕
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Tjenix alla 🇸🇪 hoppas alla får en grymt bra dag, fortsätt kämpa. Tillsammans kan vi bli fria 💕
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#recovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #youarevalid #foodoftheday #atypical #atypicalanorexia #osfed #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #neda #bodypositive #morethananumber #loveyourself #ätstörning #ätstörningsrecovery
Dinner was a steak with potato and salad! I went out for lunch with a friend! We chatted for about 3 hours and I really enjoyed it! 😍
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So Eating disorders and School. Its definitely been a challenge. I go to a small rural school. My smallest class is a total of 2 and my biggest is about 24. My school is a special character school, an all girls school and also a boarding school with a few rare day girls like myself. Because of this, we have a lot of different extra activities which I have spoken about previously including house music and house drama both of which I was involved. Because of this it has taken up a lot of extra time. This was really difficult for me as I had to stay at school for dinner and that was always an opportunity for Annie to sneak in and ta over. A lot of you probably know I am doing NCEA Level 2 and that as been quite hard. I have had a lot of internals to do and 6 different exams with a total of 14 papers. •
•
In term one and two I did quiet well. Except for the fact I was spending absurd amounts of time at the gym, I was completing everything on time. Term 3 was when I hit rock bottom. I was preparing my mocks, of which I had 6 in one week. This really did me in. I actually did pretty well in my mock exams which I was really proud of. But! There were a lot of meltdowns and tears in the weeks prior to this and during. The school had been very accommodating. They spread my exams out over the week so I had one a day and also so I only had one day where I had two exams in one day. The weeks following this I had 11 internals to complete in 3 weeks. This is went I really hit my lowest point. I had my internals to deal with, the pressure I was putting on myself to get excellences and the involvements house music! I ended up getting extensions for 3 of my internals because it just became too much. This is when my GP decided to put me on antidepressants, which was the best decision he could have made.

Continued in the comments
Dinner was a steak with potato and salad! I went out for lunch with a friend! We chatted for about 3 hours and I really enjoyed it! 😍 • • So Eating disorders and School. Its definitely been a challenge. I go to a small rural school. My smallest class is a total of 2 and my biggest is about 24. My school is a special character school, an all girls school and also a boarding school with a few rare day girls like myself. Because of this, we have a lot of different extra activities which I have spoken about previously including house music and house drama both of which I was involved. Because of this it has taken up a lot of extra time. This was really difficult for me as I had to stay at school for dinner and that was always an opportunity for Annie to sneak in and ta over. A lot of you probably know I am doing NCEA Level 2 and that as been quite hard. I have had a lot of internals to do and 6 different exams with a total of 14 papers. • • In term one and two I did quiet well. Except for the fact I was spending absurd amounts of time at the gym, I was completing everything on time. Term 3 was when I hit rock bottom. I was preparing my mocks, of which I had 6 in one week. This really did me in. I actually did pretty well in my mock exams which I was really proud of. But! There were a lot of meltdowns and tears in the weeks prior to this and during. The school had been very accommodating. They spread my exams out over the week so I had one a day and also so I only had one day where I had two exams in one day. The weeks following this I had 11 internals to complete in 3 weeks. This is went I really hit my lowest point. I had my internals to deal with, the pressure I was putting on myself to get excellences and the involvements house music! I ended up getting extensions for 3 of my internals because it just became too much. This is when my GP decided to put me on antidepressants, which was the best decision he could have made. Continued in the comments
⚠️PTW SELF HARM TALK⚠️ (mentions of methods and tools!!) my self harm story is so big. it’s a large part of my life story. but for this post, i’m just going to break it down, because i need to figure out how i can explain them. 
basically, i self harm(ed) in 5 different ways: 
1) cutting with a cuticle tool
2) cutting with razor blades
3) clenching my hands until my palms bleed (no, i didn’t get it from Riverdale 😑)
4) rubbing my nose raw until i get a bloody nose 
5) reopening a specific cut over and over again 
if anyone gets self harming to the extreme, it’s me. no, i haven’t had stitches, no i haven’t had to go to the hospital for it. but yes, i know what it’s like to hurt bad enough to injure myself. i will be posting more about my self harm later, i promise!! if you have any questions or want me to mention anything specific, please please please comment below or DM me!! 💚🧡
#stoppingthestigma #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillness #strong #ocd #depression #anxiety #eatingdisorder #mpd #ptsd #selfharmawareness 
#stillnotforattention #mentalhealth #atypicalanorexia #selfcare #ednos #osfed #purgedisorder #mdd #gad #positivity #selflove #edfam #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexiarecovery #selfharmrecovery #selfharm
⚠️PTW SELF HARM TALK⚠️ (mentions of methods and tools!!) my self harm story is so big. it’s a large part of my life story. but for this post, i’m just going to break it down, because i need to figure out how i can explain them. basically, i self harm(ed) in 5 different ways: 1) cutting with a cuticle tool 2) cutting with razor blades 3) clenching my hands until my palms bleed (no, i didn’t get it from Riverdale 😑) 4) rubbing my nose raw until i get a bloody nose 5) reopening a specific cut over and over again if anyone gets self harming to the extreme, it’s me. no, i haven’t had stitches, no i haven’t had to go to the hospital for it. but yes, i know what it’s like to hurt bad enough to injure myself. i will be posting more about my self harm later, i promise!! if you have any questions or want me to mention anything specific, please please please comment below or DM me!! 💚🧡 #stoppingthestigma  #mentalhealthawareness  #mentalillness  #strong  #ocd  #depression  #anxiety  #eatingdisorder  #mpd  #ptsd  #selfharmawareness  #stillnotforattention  #mentalhealth  #atypicalanorexia  #selfcare  #ednos  #osfed  #purgedisorder  #mdd  #gad  #positivity  #selflove  #edfam  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #anorexiarecovery  #selfharmrecovery  #selfharm 
I love these cute new little shorts from Kmart! I also love that with eating heaps, treating my body well and not using any behaviours my energy levels are high, my focus is great and my body responds so well to it all! ☺️
I love these cute new little shorts from Kmart! I also love that with eating heaps, treating my body well and not using any behaviours my energy levels are high, my focus is great and my body responds so well to it all! ☺️
goodnight smol beans :’))
i have such a strong craving for banana ‘n fruit right now ahh!!
—
“it doesn’t matter if my thighs are thicker
so is my hair
no one cares that my stomach wobbles
i can stand strong
now my happiness shows
instead of my bones
my eyes aren’t wet with tears
my skin’s no longer dry and tight
yeah, maybe my hips are wider
but so is my smile
my body is full of food
my eyes are full of life
im finally living
and it is beautiful.”
goodnight smol beans :’)) i have such a strong craving for banana ‘n fruit right now ahh!! — “it doesn’t matter if my thighs are thicker so is my hair no one cares that my stomach wobbles i can stand strong now my happiness shows instead of my bones my eyes aren’t wet with tears my skin’s no longer dry and tight yeah, maybe my hips are wider but so is my smile my body is full of food my eyes are full of life im finally living and it is beautiful.”
18/11/18;
lunch!
🌸 vegan medley with a bunch of stuff im too tired to name but there was quinoa, sweet potatoes, cabbage, cauliflower, a bean paste thing, tofu...yh
dessert:
🌸 strawberry yeo valley yoghurt

#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillnessrecovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorderawareness #edawareness #atypicalanorexia #ednos #osfed #atypicalanorexiarecovery #ednosrecovery #osfedrecovery #atypicalanorexiaawareness #ednosawareness #osfedawareness #fooddiary #foodjournal #mealplan #recoverywarrior
18/11/18; lunch! 🌸 vegan medley with a bunch of stuff im too tired to name but there was quinoa, sweet potatoes, cabbage, cauliflower, a bean paste thing, tofu...yh dessert: 🌸 strawberry yeo valley yoghurt #mentalhealth  #mentalhealthawareness  #mentalillnessrecovery  #edrecovery  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #eatingdisorderawareness  #edawareness  #atypicalanorexia  #ednos  #osfed  #atypicalanorexiarecovery  #ednosrecovery  #osfedrecovery  #atypicalanorexiaawareness  #ednosawareness  #osfedawareness  #fooddiary  #foodjournal  #mealplan  #recoverywarrior 
18/11/18;
morning snack!
🌸 a banana
🌸 a nature valley crunchy oats and dark chocolate granola bar
ate this around lunch time because i was out with my friends, hence the transferral of the fruit from lunch to here.

#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillnessrecovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorderawareness #edawareness #atypicalanorexia #ednos #osfed #atypicalanorexiarecovery #ednosrecovery #osfedrecovery #atypicalanorexiaawareness #ednosawareness #osfedawareness #fooddiary #foodjournal #mealplan #recoverywarrior
18/11/18; morning snack! 🌸 a banana 🌸 a nature valley crunchy oats and dark chocolate granola bar ate this around lunch time because i was out with my friends, hence the transferral of the fruit from lunch to here. #mentalhealth  #mentalhealthawareness  #mentalillnessrecovery  #edrecovery  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #eatingdisorderawareness  #edawareness  #atypicalanorexia  #ednos  #osfed  #atypicalanorexiarecovery  #ednosrecovery  #osfedrecovery  #atypicalanorexiaawareness  #ednosawareness  #osfedawareness  #fooddiary  #foodjournal  #mealplan  #recoverywarrior 
“wow, time to fuckin kms :’)”
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honestly today has just been me eatin too much and it sucks, i’m just waitin until everybody asleep so i can go on a walk without talkin to anyone. it’s stupid but oh well
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#ed #edmemes #eatingdisorder #eatingdisordermemes #anorexia #bulimia #ednos #osfed #atypicalanorexia #memes #meme #aesthetic
THROWBACK 🏙
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This picture is from my trip to NYC in 2014. 
You know what is funny? I look very similar to what I look like now. Everyone who got to know me after the first half of 2016 thinks I am looking so different now but actually I am just looking like me again! One of the most sentences I said between 2016 and 2018 probably was "I don't usually look like this". It's creepy what my mental health did to me. I gained 20 kg because of my medication, I impulsively shaved half of my hair off and dyed it. My clothes practially screamed borderline . I am so glad I look like me again. And you know what? 3 years before this picture was taken I had piercings in my face and dyed hair and not a piece of clothing I owned wasn't black. God I just hope I won't  ever have an episode like that again. 
Oh and yeah I am aware that this post probably falls into the  unpopular opinion category but I am just honest here. .
 #inpatient #inpatientrecovery #posttraumaticstressdisorder #ptsd #bpd #borderline #bordelinepersonalitydisorder #recovery #relapse #mentalhealth #mentalillness #edfamily #edfighter #edwarrior #edrecovery #anarecovery #eatingdisorder #essstörung #atypicalanorexia #anorexia #magersucht #nyc #newyork #newyorkcity #usa #empirestatebuilding #travel
THROWBACK 🏙 . This picture is from my trip to NYC in 2014. You know what is funny? I look very similar to what I look like now. Everyone who got to know me after the first half of 2016 thinks I am looking so different now but actually I am just looking like me again! One of the most sentences I said between 2016 and 2018 probably was "I don't usually look like this". It's creepy what my mental health did to me. I gained 20 kg because of my medication, I impulsively shaved half of my hair off and dyed it. My clothes practially screamed borderline . I am so glad I look like me again. And you know what? 3 years before this picture was taken I had piercings in my face and dyed hair and not a piece of clothing I owned wasn't black. God I just hope I won't ever have an episode like that again. Oh and yeah I am aware that this post probably falls into the unpopular opinion category but I am just honest here. . #inpatient  #inpatientrecovery  #posttraumaticstressdisorder  #ptsd  #bpd  #borderline  #bordelinepersonalitydisorder  #recovery  #relapse  #mentalhealth  #mentalillness  #edfamily  #edfighter  #edwarrior  #edrecovery  #anarecovery  #eatingdisorder  #essstörung  #atypicalanorexia  #anorexia  #magersucht  #nyc  #newyork  #newyorkcity  #usa  #empirestatebuilding  #travel 
Hey everyone. Today has been a little bit better than yesterday in that I got more work done and didn’t sleep away the day in a sad mope. Yesterday was a bit shit, and the surprise weigh and BMI calculation really threw me for a loop. Today I’ve managed to actually do things! No, I didn’t manage anything between breakfast and my dinner, but honestly it was too much. Maybe in the week I’ll be a bit more receptive to challenging myself, but not today. 
#eatittobeatit #edfam #eatingdisorderrecovery #atypicalanorexia #strongnotskinny #edsoldier #anorexia #qotd #dailyquotes #quotes
Hey everyone. Today has been a little bit better than yesterday in that I got more work done and didn’t sleep away the day in a sad mope. Yesterday was a bit shit, and the surprise weigh and BMI calculation really threw me for a loop. Today I’ve managed to actually do things! No, I didn’t manage anything between breakfast and my dinner, but honestly it was too much. Maybe in the week I’ll be a bit more receptive to challenging myself, but not today. #eatittobeatit  #edfam  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #atypicalanorexia  #strongnotskinny  #edsoldier  #anorexia  #qotd  #dailyquotes  #quotes 
TW!
Sorry for bad english
Wow okay i'm actually kinda proud haha? I feel really good because i binged so much the past month and now i'm slowly getting back on track.
So together it was 450 calories today.
🍃
#thin#thinspo#notproana#skinny#anorexia#atypicalanorexia#anorexianervosa#calorierestiction#restricting#weightloss#weightlossjurney#underweight#thighgap#loseweight#starvingmyself#vegan#vegetarian
After a whole day of social eating and quite a few drinks, all I can hear inside my head is my eating disorder yelling at me to COMPENSATE, COMPENSATE, COMPENSATE!! So instead I'm trying to devote this Sunday to being nice to myself, I had a good therapy session, bought myself a tea advent calendar, a new vegan mascara, and some other cute accessories. For the rest of the day I've planned some Netflix, a facemask, and painting my nails. Instead of punishing myself for eating "too much" yesterday, I'll spend this Sunday focusing on self care. Opposite actions.
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#selfcare #shoppingtherapy #oppositeactions #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #recovery #eatingdisorder #osfed #ednos #atypicalanorexia #anorexia #bulimia #anxiety #depression
After a whole day of social eating and quite a few drinks, all I can hear inside my head is my eating disorder yelling at me to COMPENSATE, COMPENSATE, COMPENSATE!! So instead I'm trying to devote this Sunday to being nice to myself, I had a good therapy session, bought myself a tea advent calendar, a new vegan mascara, and some other cute accessories. For the rest of the day I've planned some Netflix, a facemask, and painting my nails. Instead of punishing myself for eating "too much" yesterday, I'll spend this Sunday focusing on self care. Opposite actions. . . #selfcare  #shoppingtherapy  #oppositeactions  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #edrecovery  #recovery  #eatingdisorder  #osfed  #ednos  #atypicalanorexia  #anorexia  #bulimia  #anxiety  #depression 
Ugh i am sick but at least i have an excuse not to eat.
Also, im trying to stay under 500 calories today.
🍃
-plz block, don't report
-sry for my bad english  #thin#skinny#anorexia#triggerwarning#thinspo#underweight#loseweight#weightloss#weightlossjurney#an#anorexianervosa#atypicalanorexia#thinspo
kinda nervous for dinner tonight. my aunt isn’t allowed to tell me what it’s going to be and i have to eat it fully. ed is really pushing through at the moment. 😅
—
“feeling guilty for eating when you’re hungry is like feeling guilty for breathing when your lungs need oxygen. we’ve literally been taught to feel ashamed of our basic human needs. refuse to feel the shame. you are allowed to eat.”
— @bodyposipanda
kinda nervous for dinner tonight. my aunt isn’t allowed to tell me what it’s going to be and i have to eat it fully. ed is really pushing through at the moment. 😅 — “feeling guilty for eating when you’re hungry is like feeling guilty for breathing when your lungs need oxygen. we’ve literally been taught to feel ashamed of our basic human needs. refuse to feel the shame. you are allowed to eat.” — @bodyposipanda
I did manage some soup earlier, (half a tin) and this sandwich Is really nice, but im having to force myself to eat it. The crisps aren't a problem but they rarely are.
#ana #atypicalanorexia #atypicalanorexiarecovery #anorexiarecovery #snack #supper #sandwich #walkers #needtoeat #forcethefood #fightingthebattle #needsmust
today’s lunch was a bit of a challenge :// but that’s okay!! i’m having strong ed behavior thoughts but i’m sticking to my 15 minute rule. 15 minutes to find ways to cope and stay strong to my recovery. i believe in myself. this too shall pass 💗
—
“sometimes, you’ll have a couple of good days. and then it hits you. everything. it hurts to talk, to love, to be. existing is so difficult at times but no one wants to hear that. no one wants to know about the days you spend crying or curled up in a corner somewhere or wishing you could be anywhere but here. we all have our ways of coping with it. we all have our very own acts of survival. our ways of staying alive when we’re in too much pain to feel anything at all. i get it. this isn’t life anymore. this is just about getting through the day. i hope that one day it’ll be something more than that.”
— more than that // r.e.s (via thoughtsintorhymes)
today’s lunch was a bit of a challenge :// but that’s okay!! i’m having strong ed behavior thoughts but i’m sticking to my 15 minute rule. 15 minutes to find ways to cope and stay strong to my recovery. i believe in myself. this too shall pass 💗 — “sometimes, you’ll have a couple of good days. and then it hits you. everything. it hurts to talk, to love, to be. existing is so difficult at times but no one wants to hear that. no one wants to know about the days you spend crying or curled up in a corner somewhere or wishing you could be anywhere but here. we all have our ways of coping with it. we all have our very own acts of survival. our ways of staying alive when we’re in too much pain to feel anything at all. i get it. this isn’t life anymore. this is just about getting through the day. i hope that one day it’ll be something more than that.” — more than that // r.e.s (via thoughtsintorhymes)
— ed recovery tips for the holidays:
1. initiate a mindfulness routine:
this can help you become more grounded and aware of the mind-body-spirit connection :))
2. keep a daily gratitude journal:
write down 5 aspects of your life that are worth being grateful for! 🌟 
3. spend time in the outdoors:
an appreciation for the earth is soothing and restorative 🌲 
4. funnel energy into creativity:
art can be a form of therapy to reframe anxious thoughts onto an aesthetic canvas. 🎨 
5. reach out for additional support:
when stress levels are high, recruiting a “holiday support network” is vital. 👥
—healthyplace.com
— ed recovery tips for the holidays: 1. initiate a mindfulness routine: this can help you become more grounded and aware of the mind-body-spirit connection :)) 2. keep a daily gratitude journal: write down 5 aspects of your life that are worth being grateful for! 🌟 3. spend time in the outdoors: an appreciation for the earth is soothing and restorative 🌲 4. funnel energy into creativity: art can be a form of therapy to reframe anxious thoughts onto an aesthetic canvas. 🎨 5. reach out for additional support: when stress levels are high, recruiting a “holiday support network” is vital. 👥 —healthyplace.com
hey guys~! 🌻
today is national survivors of suicide day so i just wanted to take a minute to acknowledge everyone who has attempted and survived, and/or has lost a loved one to suicide. i, myself, have been in your shoes in both aspects. i have taken advantage of my life in more ways than one and have gone all 16 years of my life blind to the fact that i am blessed to be living the life that i am living today. i may not be flawless, my thighs still touch, i don’t have hipbones, and i may not be a size 0 in jeans, but that does not make me any less happy. i am so thankful to be blessed with the gift of being able to have a bad day and wake up to a second chance. every single time. i no longer am seeking revenge on a body that is my own. i no longer disrespect a body that has protected me my whole life. it is the year of loving myself and eating when i am supposed to. you have to nourish to flourish. we still have our whole lives ahead of us. make it count ! 💡🥰
hey guys~! 🌻 today is national survivors of suicide day so i just wanted to take a minute to acknowledge everyone who has attempted and survived, and/or has lost a loved one to suicide. i, myself, have been in your shoes in both aspects. i have taken advantage of my life in more ways than one and have gone all 16 years of my life blind to the fact that i am blessed to be living the life that i am living today. i may not be flawless, my thighs still touch, i don’t have hipbones, and i may not be a size 0 in jeans, but that does not make me any less happy. i am so thankful to be blessed with the gift of being able to have a bad day and wake up to a second chance. every single time. i no longer am seeking revenge on a body that is my own. i no longer disrespect a body that has protected me my whole life. it is the year of loving myself and eating when i am supposed to. you have to nourish to flourish. we still have our whole lives ahead of us. make it count ! 💡🥰
Don't let the smirk fool you--I'm miserable. I'm eating, but hating every bite. I can literally feel myself expanding. ED is telling me I better buckle down and lose as much weight as possible before the new year. Its all so tiring. Sometimes I feel like giving up, but sometimes I push through. Idk. Dr. Recommended to go back to Partial. I had made an appointment to see if I could get back into IOP. Idk I don't want to do more Partial. Mostly because I don't think I'm "sick enough" and because the last time I was there, I was the fattest one. And that was an awful feeling that I don't wish to repeat. Ugh. 
#ana #mia #anorexia #bulimia #eatingdisorder #edrecovery #recoverywarrior #atypicalanorexia #overweight #OSFED #HAES #edsucks #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexiarecovery #edtreatment #partialhospitalization #intensiveoutpatient
Don't let the smirk fool you--I'm miserable. I'm eating, but hating every bite. I can literally feel myself expanding. ED is telling me I better buckle down and lose as much weight as possible before the new year. Its all so tiring. Sometimes I feel like giving up, but sometimes I push through. Idk. Dr. Recommended to go back to Partial. I had made an appointment to see if I could get back into IOP. Idk I don't want to do more Partial. Mostly because I don't think I'm "sick enough" and because the last time I was there, I was the fattest one. And that was an awful feeling that I don't wish to repeat. Ugh. #ana  #mia  #anorexia  #bulimia  #eatingdisorder  #edrecovery  #recoverywarrior  #atypicalanorexia  #overweight  #OSFED  #HAES  #edsucks  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #anorexiarecovery  #edtreatment  #partialhospitalization  #intensiveoutpatient 
Gestern mit Vater und Oma in meinem Lieblingsrestaurant gewesen. Sie sagen, ich kann ruhig bestellen, zur Feier des Tages. Ich habe mir einen Salat „gegönnt“. Von dem Getrönk konnte ich auch kaum trinken. Meine anorektische Stimme war so laut, ich konnte es echt teilweise schwer genießen. Trotzdem ist es trotz der Essstörung ganz schön gewesen. Halt mit meiner Oma und Vater. Das doofe war halt, dass das Restaurant ihr zweijähriges gefeiert und gratis Gin-Shots ausgeteilt :( ich darf ja wegen der Klinik keinen Alkohol trinken und auch nicht zwischen diesem und den nächsten Aufenthalt im April 19, weil das mit dem nächsten Exzess enden würde. Naja, jetzt bin ich gerade in der Klinik und habe mein Abendessen hinter mir #ed #atypicalanorexia #anorexia #edsucks #edpatient #bpd #borderline #inpatient #clinic
Gestern mit Vater und Oma in meinem Lieblingsrestaurant gewesen. Sie sagen, ich kann ruhig bestellen, zur Feier des Tages. Ich habe mir einen Salat „gegönnt“. Von dem Getrönk konnte ich auch kaum trinken. Meine anorektische Stimme war so laut, ich konnte es echt teilweise schwer genießen. Trotzdem ist es trotz der Essstörung ganz schön gewesen. Halt mit meiner Oma und Vater. Das doofe war halt, dass das Restaurant ihr zweijähriges gefeiert und gratis Gin-Shots ausgeteilt :( ich darf ja wegen der Klinik keinen Alkohol trinken und auch nicht zwischen diesem und den nächsten Aufenthalt im April 19, weil das mit dem nächsten Exzess enden würde. Naja, jetzt bin ich gerade in der Klinik und habe mein Abendessen hinter mir #ed  #atypicalanorexia  #anorexia  #edsucks  #edpatient  #bpd  #borderline  #inpatient  #clinic 
5.45pm- Dinner. Yes, this is the first thing I’ve eaten since breakfast and I watered down the soup 🤦🏻‍♀️ Yesterday really triggered me and I’m feeling so icky and uncomfortable in my body. Having my BMI be so high is really fucking with my head and I hate everything about this!!! I’ve also been avoiding drinking today which is a bit fucked up but I just haven’t been feeling up to anything today. I went to yoga, did my laundry and ironing and thats... About it. I napped, moped around and didn’t do a whole lot else 😥Tomorrow is a food shop day which hopefully will inspire me to eat a little bit more? I’ll probably be cooking some freezer food or something too, idk. We shall see. 
#eatittobeatit #edfam #eatingdisorderrecovery #atypicalanorexia #strongnotskinny #edwarrior #edsoldier #anorexia
5.45pm- Dinner. Yes, this is the first thing I’ve eaten since breakfast and I watered down the soup 🤦🏻‍♀️ Yesterday really triggered me and I’m feeling so icky and uncomfortable in my body. Having my BMI be so high is really fucking with my head and I hate everything about this!!! I’ve also been avoiding drinking today which is a bit fucked up but I just haven’t been feeling up to anything today. I went to yoga, did my laundry and ironing and thats... About it. I napped, moped around and didn’t do a whole lot else 😥Tomorrow is a food shop day which hopefully will inspire me to eat a little bit more? I’ll probably be cooking some freezer food or something too, idk. We shall see. #eatittobeatit  #edfam  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #atypicalanorexia  #strongnotskinny  #edwarrior  #edsoldier  #anorexia 
hey guys, it’s been a few days! time for an update!! 😊 
so i had a therapy appointment Thursday morning, and it actually felt good to be able to talk about stuff, but at the same time i was really really sad because i didn’t feel validated about my ED at all. i felt super lonely and i didn’t/don’t see how i'm going to get better anytime soon. 😣 part of me still doesn’t think that i'm sick enough. most of me also thinks that everyone else thinks that i'm not that sick either. BUT my therapist called that night and talked with my parents and me about a plan. i’m going start like an IOP program through my initial therapy clinic. she told me that i can’t continue doing full days of school and not just because of ED, but because my stress level is so high (like i have had 3-4 white hairs since school started). i’m also going to get on a waiting list for residential care as a backup in case IOP doesn’t work. i’m super nervous to start but i’m also SO READY to try to kick this thing in the ass. 👊🏻 #stoppingthestigma #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillness #strong #ocd #depression #anxiety #eatingdisorder #mpd #ptsd #selfharmawareness 
#stillnotforattention #mentalhealth #atypicalanorexia #selfcare #ednos #osfed #purgedisorder #mdd #gad #positivity #selflove #edfam #eatingdisorderrecovery #recoverywin #anorexiarecovery #sickandtiredofbeingsickandtired #validation #recovery
hey guys, it’s been a few days! time for an update!! 😊 so i had a therapy appointment Thursday morning, and it actually felt good to be able to talk about stuff, but at the same time i was really really sad because i didn’t feel validated about my ED at all. i felt super lonely and i didn’t/don’t see how i'm going to get better anytime soon. 😣 part of me still doesn’t think that i'm sick enough. most of me also thinks that everyone else thinks that i'm not that sick either. BUT my therapist called that night and talked with my parents and me about a plan. i’m going start like an IOP program through my initial therapy clinic. she told me that i can’t continue doing full days of school and not just because of ED, but because my stress level is so high (like i have had 3-4 white hairs since school started). i’m also going to get on a waiting list for residential care as a backup in case IOP doesn’t work. i’m super nervous to start but i’m also SO READY to try to kick this thing in the ass. 👊🏻 #stoppingthestigma  #mentalhealthawareness  #mentalillness  #strong  #ocd  #depression  #anxiety  #eatingdisorder  #mpd  #ptsd  #selfharmawareness  #stillnotforattention  #mentalhealth  #atypicalanorexia  #selfcare  #ednos  #osfed  #purgedisorder  #mdd  #gad  #positivity  #selflove  #edfam  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #recoverywin  #anorexiarecovery  #sickandtiredofbeingsickandtired  #validation  #recovery 
After what's been a really shitty and hard week, it's been really nice to spend the Saturday in Tallinn with @officialvpf 😁 Thanks guys for an awesome day!
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#pubcrawl #sightseeing #edrecovery #recovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #osfed #ednos #atypicalanorexia #anorexia #bulimia
— a letter to my boyfriend, and anyone whom struggles with self-image:
i’d like to remind you that you are human. no human is flawless. that being said, that doesn’t mean you can’t be perfect. there will always be people who see you in an idealistic way and those who see you in a cynical way. by definition, perfect is having met all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is POSSIBLE to be. it is impossible to have no defects, a perfectly toned body, straight A’s, impeccable communication skills, and a gentle and loving personality without having a fault in your being. every single person on this planet has a fault. though, to me, you are perfect. you met all areas of perfection in my eyes. you no longer have to strive for a perfectionism that is imaginary. your inner critic may finally walk away from the control panel. you no longer have to feel like hiding away from a body that is your own. i will love you endlessly, and your resilience will continue to astonish me time after time again. 💞
— a letter to my boyfriend, and anyone whom struggles with self-image: i’d like to remind you that you are human. no human is flawless. that being said, that doesn’t mean you can’t be perfect. there will always be people who see you in an idealistic way and those who see you in a cynical way. by definition, perfect is having met all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is POSSIBLE to be. it is impossible to have no defects, a perfectly toned body, straight A’s, impeccable communication skills, and a gentle and loving personality without having a fault in your being. every single person on this planet has a fault. though, to me, you are perfect. you met all areas of perfection in my eyes. you no longer have to strive for a perfectionism that is imaginary. your inner critic may finally walk away from the control panel. you no longer have to feel like hiding away from a body that is your own. i will love you endlessly, and your resilience will continue to astonish me time after time again. 💞
— letter from an empath💡:
“while i love to help others, i am not responsible for fixing your life or catering to your toxicity. i am not responsible for managing your triggers, walking on eggshells, or telling you what you want to hear in order to keep the peace. i am not your emotional punching bag nor am i your emotional sponge. i do not exist for your pleasure or as a site for your projected pain. my responsibility is to myself - to be my own person and stay true to who i am - to heal my own wounds, manage my own triggers, and engage in self-care so that i can give to others authentically without depleting myself in the process. my responsibility is to maintain healthy boundaries - especially with those who are unhealthy.”
—Shahida Arabi
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motd: frustrated & hoping for a turnaround
gotd: finish writing my letter to my recovered self 💓
— letter from an empath💡: “while i love to help others, i am not responsible for fixing your life or catering to your toxicity. i am not responsible for managing your triggers, walking on eggshells, or telling you what you want to hear in order to keep the peace. i am not your emotional punching bag nor am i your emotional sponge. i do not exist for your pleasure or as a site for your projected pain. my responsibility is to myself - to be my own person and stay true to who i am - to heal my own wounds, manage my own triggers, and engage in self-care so that i can give to others authentically without depleting myself in the process. my responsibility is to maintain healthy boundaries - especially with those who are unhealthy.” —Shahida Arabi — motd: frustrated & hoping for a turnaround gotd: finish writing my letter to my recovered self 💓
Not doing so well today. 15.15 and I'm just eating. This is it for now. I have soup for later and a sandwich for this evening.
#ana #atypicalanorexia #atypicalanorexiarecovery #anorexiarecovery #snack #brusselsprouts #walkersbrusselsprout #lovesprouts #nibble #eat #musteat
Not had the best week - doctors yesterday to discuss how things have been ED wise and now on antibiotics for a throat infection 😢 (follow up apt just before Christmas)  At the moment just trying to remain purge free and reduce stress in my life. 
Wishing you all a lovely weekend xx

#anorexianervosa #atypicalanorexia #purgefreedays #edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #mumof3 #mumonamission #workingonanewme #stressedout #sharkweek #antibiotics #feellikecrap #looklikecrap #weekend
Not had the best week - doctors yesterday to discuss how things have been ED wise and now on antibiotics for a throat infection 😢 (follow up apt just before Christmas) At the moment just trying to remain purge free and reduce stress in my life. Wishing you all a lovely weekend xx #anorexianervosa  #atypicalanorexia  #purgefreedays  #edrecovery  #anorexiarecovery  #mumof3  #mumonamission  #workingonanewme  #stressedout  #sharkweek  #antibiotics  #feellikecrap  #looklikecrap  #weekend 
The difference between one year can be bigger than expected. Last year my depression was really strong, I couldn't imagine to live a normal life again. I actually wasn't able to want a normal life. I only carried about how to manage the next day without getting caught with my thoughts. Every day I was planning how to end my life, how to feel "better" again in the way of dying. Last year wasn't an easy year. I felt so weak and was really scared. I got bullied a long, long time and was afraid that it would happen again. I did forget that I had friends. My friends were worried and I was like "they want me to see me fall, they want to make my life much harder", but that's bullshit! Why should my friends think like that? Last year on the 16th November it all started to come out. I started to have concrete suicidal plans and my school recognized that something is wrong. On the 16 th November, 2017 I had an appointment at a psychologist, because my school sent me. There I was told I need therapy! I was really, really scared. I only thought "I will end like a freak", but I was really wrong. After that appointment it was like before. But then December came. The darkest point at my suicidal phase, I had a plan. A date, a location, the way I want to end my life. Luckily my school recognized this again and I was sent into a psychiatric hospital where I got my diagnosis BPD. Since last December I am in therapy. And helps me a lot. I stopped to self harm but! then Ana comes. I was searching an other way to hurt my body and started to lose weight till August 2018. I lost really much happiness again but right now I am on a right way. I am working on my self esteem, I try to enjoy life more, I try to do as much as possible with my friends. Probably I get on their nerves 😂. But my main goal is to get my life back! Because I'm worth it! Everyone deserves to have a good life! Why shouldn't I deserve? I'm much more than any disease, I'm much more than my past. I'm me and I only have one life, I shouldn't waste it. Since last year I started to grow. Sometimes I relapse or do have bad phases but that's normal. Life is not perfect but it's always worth it to fight and to make the ⬇️⬇️
The difference between one year can be bigger than expected. Last year my depression was really strong, I couldn't imagine to live a normal life again. I actually wasn't able to want a normal life. I only carried about how to manage the next day without getting caught with my thoughts. Every day I was planning how to end my life, how to feel "better" again in the way of dying. Last year wasn't an easy year. I felt so weak and was really scared. I got bullied a long, long time and was afraid that it would happen again. I did forget that I had friends. My friends were worried and I was like "they want me to see me fall, they want to make my life much harder", but that's bullshit! Why should my friends think like that? Last year on the 16th November it all started to come out. I started to have concrete suicidal plans and my school recognized that something is wrong. On the 16 th November, 2017 I had an appointment at a psychologist, because my school sent me. There I was told I need therapy! I was really, really scared. I only thought "I will end like a freak", but I was really wrong. After that appointment it was like before. But then December came. The darkest point at my suicidal phase, I had a plan. A date, a location, the way I want to end my life. Luckily my school recognized this again and I was sent into a psychiatric hospital where I got my diagnosis BPD. Since last December I am in therapy. And helps me a lot. I stopped to self harm but! then Ana comes. I was searching an other way to hurt my body and started to lose weight till August 2018. I lost really much happiness again but right now I am on a right way. I am working on my self esteem, I try to enjoy life more, I try to do as much as possible with my friends. Probably I get on their nerves 😂. But my main goal is to get my life back! Because I'm worth it! Everyone deserves to have a good life! Why shouldn't I deserve? I'm much more than any disease, I'm much more than my past. I'm me and I only have one life, I shouldn't waste it. Since last year I started to grow. Sometimes I relapse or do have bad phases but that's normal. Life is not perfect but it's always worth it to fight and to make the ⬇️⬇️
#dinner from yesterday was one baked potato 🥔with ham, shrimps + homemade guacamole and veggies (as usual)🥗🥑
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A week as almost past and I feel better now, but this week as been awful even if I needed to relax a bit. 
I don’t want to meet my dietician/doctor anymore cuz it was her idea that I should stay home 🏠I still don’t think it was a smart idea cuz now I’m so behind in school😣 and I swear that everyone is thinking that I have skipped school because I’m lazy. •
I feel like I’m letting my family down all the time. I know I say that a lot but I just can’t let it be. I mean, they are my everything so I feel so awful when I see them sad because of me☹️
Anorexia is literally ruining your life. Even how much you want to me “skinny” it’s not worth it, I can promise you that💗
#foodisfuel #strongnotskinny #foodphotography #ed #edrecovery #edfam #recovery #edfighter #atypicalanorexia #ana #fuckana #anarecovery #anafighter #mealplan #fooddaily #recoveryisworthit #sweden #teen #potato #autumn #foodie
#dinner  from yesterday was one baked potato 🥔with ham, shrimps + homemade guacamole and veggies (as usual)🥗🥑 • A week as almost past and I feel better now, but this week as been awful even if I needed to relax a bit. I don’t want to meet my dietician/doctor anymore cuz it was her idea that I should stay home 🏠I still don’t think it was a smart idea cuz now I’m so behind in school😣 and I swear that everyone is thinking that I have skipped school because I’m lazy. • I feel like I’m letting my family down all the time. I know I say that a lot but I just can’t let it be. I mean, they are my everything so I feel so awful when I see them sad because of me☹️ Anorexia is literally ruining your life. Even how much you want to me “skinny” it’s not worth it, I can promise you that💗 #foodisfuel  #strongnotskinny  #foodphotography  #ed  #edrecovery  #edfam  #recovery  #edfighter  #atypicalanorexia  #ana  #fuckana  #anarecovery  #anafighter  #mealplan  #fooddaily  #recoveryisworthit  #sweden  #teen  #potato  #autumn  #foodie 
Are you worried that FBT will not work for your child?
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Sometimes parents think that their teen is too independent, too stubborn, or too old for FBT. Research does not show that personality is a factor in determining which families will be successful with this treatment.
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Watch a short YouTube video where Lauren Muhlheim, PsyD responds to parents' concerns about FBT not working for their teen. Link in Bio.
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#eatingdisorderrecovery #recoveryispossible #fbt #familybasedtreatment #treatmentworks #edawareness #edwarrior #edsurvivor #nofoodsofflimit #antidiet #nondiet #haes #healthateverysize #EDTLA #eatingdisordertherapyLA #prorecovery #bingeeatingdisorder #bodypositive #fatpositive #atypicalanorexia #atypicalanorexianervosa #atypicalanorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #bodyimage
Are you worried that FBT will not work for your child? . Sometimes parents think that their teen is too independent, too stubborn, or too old for FBT. Research does not show that personality is a factor in determining which families will be successful with this treatment. . Watch a short YouTube video where Lauren Muhlheim, PsyD responds to parents' concerns about FBT not working for their teen. Link in Bio. . . . . . #eatingdisorderrecovery  #recoveryispossible  #fbt  #familybasedtreatment  #treatmentworks  #edawareness  #edwarrior  #edsurvivor  #nofoodsofflimit  #antidiet  #nondiet  #haes  #healthateverysize  #EDTLA  #eatingdisordertherapyLA  #prorecovery  #bingeeatingdisorder  #bodypositive  #fatpositive  #atypicalanorexia  #atypicalanorexianervosa  #atypicalanorexiarecovery  #bulimiarecovery  #bodyimage 
16/11/18;
dinner!
🌸 lamb curry
🌸 rice
🌸 mixed asian salad
dessert:
🌸 strawberries
this is a reduced portion compared to what it should have been, but at least it’s sort of decent looking... #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillnessrecovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorderawareness #edawareness #atypicalanorexia #ednos #osfed #atypicalanorexiarecovery #ednosrecovery #osfedrecovery #atypicalanorexiaawareness #ednosawareness #osfedawareness #fooddiary #foodjournal #mealplan #recoverywarrior
16/11/18; dinner! 🌸 lamb curry 🌸 rice 🌸 mixed asian salad dessert: 🌸 strawberries this is a reduced portion compared to what it should have been, but at least it’s sort of decent looking... #mentalhealth  #mentalhealthawareness  #mentalillnessrecovery  #edrecovery  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #eatingdisorderawareness  #edawareness  #atypicalanorexia  #ednos  #osfed  #atypicalanorexiarecovery  #ednosrecovery  #osfedrecovery  #atypicalanorexiaawareness  #ednosawareness  #osfedawareness  #fooddiary  #foodjournal  #mealplan  #recoverywarrior 
Chip shop for dinner, which if I'm honest mostly was eaten by the dog not me. Ah well, I tried. 😒
#anacontrol #anasback #ana#atypicalanorexia #anorexiarecovery #chipshop #tea #dinner
16/11/18;
snacklunch!
morning snack!!
🌸 KIND dark chocolate, nuts and sea salt bar
lunch!!!
🌸 prosciutto, cream cheese and veg sandwich
dessert!!!!
🌸 strawberry yeo valley yoghurt
🌸 an orange
had to amalgamate morning snack and lunch bc i had a thing all morning.

#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillnessrecovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorderawareness #edawareness #atypicalanorexia #ednos #osfed #atypicalanorexiarecovery #ednosrecovery #osfedrecovery #atypicalanorexiaawareness #ednosawareness #osfedawareness #fooddiary #foodjournal #mealplan #recoverywarrior
16/11/18; snacklunch! morning snack!! 🌸 KIND dark chocolate, nuts and sea salt bar lunch!!! 🌸 prosciutto, cream cheese and veg sandwich dessert!!!! 🌸 strawberry yeo valley yoghurt 🌸 an orange had to amalgamate morning snack and lunch bc i had a thing all morning. #mentalhealth  #mentalhealthawareness  #mentalillnessrecovery  #edrecovery  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #eatingdisorderawareness  #edawareness  #atypicalanorexia  #ednos  #osfed  #atypicalanorexiarecovery  #ednosrecovery  #osfedrecovery  #atypicalanorexiaawareness  #ednosawareness  #osfedawareness  #fooddiary  #foodjournal  #mealplan  #recoverywarrior 
HI🤟🏼 I made myself a salladtaco, cuz why not🤷🏼‍♀️ - Sallad w/ tomatoes🍅, cucumber🥒, christmas ham🍖, leek & some hummus🤙🏼 YUM *
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#recovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #youarevalid #foodoftheday #atypical #atypicalanorexia #osfed #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #neda #bodypositive #morethananumber #loveyourself #ätstörning #ätstörningsrecovery
Hey guys. A bit of a negative one so I’ll put a TW on. I mention BMI. —

So I went to the nurses today for my contraceptive injection and they had to do a bmi check because they’re aware of my ED and were worried about my bone density and stuff. The nurse was so sweet but I caught a glimpse of my bmi, weight and height and I’m having a bit of a breakdown. It turns out I’m about 1.5 inches shorter than I thought I was and that has thrown my BMI calculations into chaos and suddenly my BMI has jumped to 20.8. I’m having an internal meltdown. I’ve not had a BMI this high since I was 13 and its freaking me the fuck out. All this over fucking 4cm of height. My weight hasn’t changed but I’m freaking out. I feel like such a fat fraud. 
#eatittobeatit #edfam #eatingdisorderrecovery #edsoldier #atypicalanorexia #strongnotskinny #qotd #dailyquotes
Hey guys. A bit of a negative one so I’ll put a TW on. I mention BMI. — So I went to the nurses today for my contraceptive injection and they had to do a bmi check because they’re aware of my ED and were worried about my bone density and stuff. The nurse was so sweet but I caught a glimpse of my bmi, weight and height and I’m having a bit of a breakdown. It turns out I’m about 1.5 inches shorter than I thought I was and that has thrown my BMI calculations into chaos and suddenly my BMI has jumped to 20.8. I’m having an internal meltdown. I’ve not had a BMI this high since I was 13 and its freaking me the fuck out. All this over fucking 4cm of height. My weight hasn’t changed but I’m freaking out. I feel like such a fat fraud. #eatittobeatit  #edfam  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #edsoldier  #atypicalanorexia  #strongnotskinny  #qotd  #dailyquotes 
Do you know the main secret of successful Instagram ? When your friend @maria_boguslav and boyfriend @ryann_wave are both photographers and you go to trips together 😂 Maria took this nice picture of me, Ryan edited it after and.. here we go 💁🏼‍♀️
Do you know the main secret of successful Instagram ? When your friend @maria_boguslav and boyfriend @ryann_wave are both photographers and you go to trips together 😂 Maria took this nice picture of me, Ryan edited it after and.. here we go 💁🏼‍♀️
BECOMING A HOT MESS 101 (TW). First, you need to ignore every form of communication with your family. Secondly you need to have only a few hours of broken sleep continuously for a few months. Next, you need to lose around 15% of your body weight in a too short a period. You then cancel every appointment you have for next week (oh, but except for your GP, because she’ll send the police around if you’re a no show). You don’t eat or drink anywhere enough to sustain any form of a meaningful life. Netflix beingeing is an absolute must. Why stop at one season of Offspring a day; why not make it two, or even three? Concentration? Oh no, you don’t get any of that. Finally, you don’t shower until you begin to smell and it’s more off putting than the sight of your repulsive body, and the dizziness you feel when you stand in the hot shower for too long. There you have it- the beginnings of a hot mess! #atypicalanorexia #atypicalanorexiarecovery #ednos #ednosrecovery #ednosfamily #ednoswarrior #osfed #osfedrecovery #ed #edfam #edrecovery #edwarrior #edsoldier #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #recoveringaussies #adultswitheds #weightrestored #depression #anxiety #bpd #bpdrecovery #hotmess #hotmess101 #becomingahotmess
BECOMING A HOT MESS 101 (TW). First, you need to ignore every form of communication with your family. Secondly you need to have only a few hours of broken sleep continuously for a few months. Next, you need to lose around 15% of your body weight in a too short a period. You then cancel every appointment you have for next week (oh, but except for your GP, because she’ll send the police around if you’re a no show). You don’t eat or drink anywhere enough to sustain any form of a meaningful life. Netflix beingeing is an absolute must. Why stop at one season of Offspring a day; why not make it two, or even three? Concentration? Oh no, you don’t get any of that. Finally, you don’t shower until you begin to smell and it’s more off putting than the sight of your repulsive body, and the dizziness you feel when you stand in the hot shower for too long. There you have it- the beginnings of a hot mess! #atypicalanorexia  #atypicalanorexiarecovery  #ednos  #ednosrecovery  #ednosfamily  #ednoswarrior  #osfed  #osfedrecovery  #ed  #edfam  #edrecovery  #edwarrior  #edsoldier  #eatingdisorder  #eatingdisorderrecovery  #recovery  #recoveringaussies  #adultswitheds  #weightrestored  #depression  #anxiety  #bpd  #bpdrecovery  #hotmess  #hotmess101  #becomingahotmess 
Here are some lovely photos of me with my Ng tube from my first two admissions unfortunately I’m back in hospital but I’m really committed into getting better and recovering x
#eatingdisorderrecovery #eatittobeatit #atypicalanorexia #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #kickinganasbutt #recoveryisworthit #recoveringaussies #bpdrecovery #anxiety
Hey all! I’m 20 years old and live in Australia I suffer from a few mental health problems and recovering my biggest demon that I’m currently fighting  is atypical Anorexia nervosa just going to post a few photos and updates and to be someone to help those who are also suffering 💕💕. .
 #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatittobeatit #atypicalanorexia #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #kickinganasbutt #recoveryisworthit #recoveringaussies #bpdrecovery #anxiety