1 month until Pony Up for Brain Cancer at @arlingtoninternational! Don't have your tickets yet? Buy them now at emmasmemory.org/events! All proceeds benefit @luriechildrens.
At Pony Up for Brain Cancer you will see the races, enjoy all you can eat and drink, win money on horse races, 50/50 raffle, and a great silent auction. Win a signed ball and bat from @anthony_rizzo_familyfoundation, a signed bat from World Series hero @dexterfowler, a @loumalnatis gift basket, a weekend at @printmakersinn, a weekend in Michigan, a photo session from @sampro5, @brookfieldzoo passes, @teslamotors weekend experience, and more!
Vincent is still in the hospital suffering some pretty nasty side effects of his chemo. He has mucositis which is painful inflammation and ulcers throughout his mouth and digestive track. It is horrible to see your baby scream in pain, spit up blood, and not want to swallow his own saliva because it hurts so bad and there is nothing you can do. To know his pain is a result of the treatment you chose to put him through hoping it will save his life but not knowing if it will be worth the pain in the end is true torture. The decisions we have to make as parents of a child with cancer are the most gut-wrenching and excruciating choices we will ever face.
Before I was pregnant with Vincent, we had a few pregnancy losses and I would always ask myself Why? Why was this happening to us? Then when we got pregnant with him and all the prenatal testing came back normal and I would see so many others struggling to have children I would again wonder, why? Why were we being blessed? But I was also holding my breath waiting for something to go wrong. Waiting for some bad news. This worrying is part of who I am. I have suffered from a significant anxiety disorder since I was a child. Why? Because I learned at a very young age that tragedy does not just happen to "other" people. I knew that tragedy didn't pick and choose who it happened to, it just happened. And it had happened to me and my family when I was 11 years old and my father died suddenly and unexpectedly in a boating accident. The accident immediately changed me and defined who I was and how I coped with life and the worry and the what if's were always there woven into my fabric.....continued in comments
My life closed twice before its close;
It yet remains to see
If Immortality unveil
A third event to me,
So huge, so hopeless to conceive,
As these that twice befell.
Parting is all we know of heaven,
And all we need of hell.
Happiest of 3rd birthdays to my perfect one. You were the light and joy of everything when you were here. I love you, I love you, I love you. 🖤🦄
Haven't had a dream in a long time
See the life I've had can make a good man, bad
So, for once in my life,
Let me get what I want
Lord knows it would be the first time.
I used to sing Finn The Smith's (and a host of other bands and songs) to get him to sleep. I find it sadly poetic that one of the only videos I have of me singing him to sleep is this song; Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want. Thanks to my own mama @jylread for taking the video. 🖤
Happy almost 3rd Birthday, baby boy. 3 years ago right now, Mama was working really hard to bring you into the world. 🖤🦄
What a great way to celebrate birthdays! It was Emma’s stem cell birthday and mom turned 25 again! Thank you to our RUSH friends and @monnieburkes for a great night and helping to raise money for @luriechildrens! #atrt#cancersucks#kidsgetcancertoo
LEGO Construction Star Wars, a reference AT-RT of the Republic 75002 it took me 15/20 minutes because it was quite easy to do since I already have the real AT-RT 😅 but I reassure you it was for me impossible to redo it with the plan because I did not have the necessary parts so I'm just analyzing my vehicle ^ ^ it will be a little smaller if you noticed and I added 2 small guns above the barrel main 😀
**These are photos of me breastfeeding Finn, largely uncovered. If that bothers you, please keep scrolling, I don't want to hear about it.**
I've seen a few times that it's World Breastfeeding Week and this post has been rolling around my head for a while, I think it's a good time.
I loved breastfeeding more than almost any other part of motherhood. It was always a quiet, peaceful time for us. It was the thing I could use to comfort him more reliably than anything else and it was his primary source of nutrition his whole life.
One of the biggest trauma points (for me) in the whole experience of his illness was how breastfeeding was ripped from us. I come back to it over and over. The second night we were in the hospital I had planned out how many more feedings we would have before he needed to be NPO for surgery. It was about an hour before the last one that he had the seizures that took him from us the first time. He was never able to breastfeed again, and I pumped for the rest of his life. ••
Having that taken from us so abruptly was painful on its own, but it also removed my primary method of comforting him (and if I'm being honest, myself too) and the way we had bonded since his birth. He was sick and in pain and I had so few resources to help him. That helplessness is what plagues every parent of every child who is sick and dying before their eyes. ••
I am beyond grateful for our breastfeeding experience, and while I wish that it hadn't ended how it did, I loved every minute of it. The hard parts and the good parts. All of it. ••••
Senja telah mengabarkan bahwa sebentar lagi akan muncul malm yg gelap gulita .makan persiapkan lah dirimu Dengan bekal yg mampu menuntunmu menuju terang .😀 @cesper0803 #atrt @muhammad29zulfikar #photography#shoot 📷 😊
While I was fearing it, it came,
But came with less of fear,
Because that fearing it so long
Had almost made it dear.
There is a fitting a dismay,
A fitting a despair
'Tis harder know it is due,
Than knowing it is here.
The trying on the utmost,
The morning it is new,
Is terribler than wearing it
A whole existence through.
This boy would be turning 3 on the 13th and my heart is very sad. The dread leading up to these days is always the worst part for me. I'm trying not to think about it too much, to let myself feel what I feel and not be consumed by the fear of what's coming. I think birthdays without him will always be the saddest of the days. 🖤🦄😢 (📹: @brirobbins )
Still trying to get in touch with @jjwatt @theellenshow @chrissyteigen @taylorswift they do amazing things for families in need all the time! For those of you that do not know, my sweet Harper passed away from ATRT last Sunday. It’s a very aggressive form of pediatric brain cancer. She fought HARD for 18 months. She passed away the day before her 3rd birthday. No baby should ever have to go through this. Now, even after Harper has passed my cousin and her husband are STILL receiving HUGE medical bills. It should be a crime to charge this much for cancer treatment. They didn’t ask for her to be sick, or get brain cancer. They surely didn’t ever expect to have to pay $3400 for X-rays after the insurance kicked in. So please guys, PLEASE. Share the hell out of my Facebook post so that maybe someone somewhere will see this and donate something to help my amazingly strong cousin @love_gkhk #HopeInTheNameOfHarper#ATRT#PediatricBrainCancer#CancerSucks @kealiamae @jjwatt @johnlegend @kimkardashian @taylorswift @houstontexans @houstonrockets @astrosbaseball #PleaseShare#GoFundMe#DMforinfo