Sorry for the lack of updates, for anyone who saw my last post - I'm in Ghana!!! I'm currently on a 3 week medical volunteer project in Accra helping out at a hospital and doing outreach programs in the local community.
It is such an incredible experience, definitely eye opening and life changing. I am so honoured to be in such an amazing country, and to be around the locals who are definitely the friendliest people I have ever met.
Although in three weeks I won't be able to contribute much or make much of a difference at all, it is still rewarding to be part of a volunteer program, and I'm already planning for my trip back here in the future. Also so happy that after the year I've had that I'm able to do something like this, and on my own as well.
Hope everyone is keeping well!
Sending love from Accra xx
🍫QUADROTTI DI TORTA AL CIOCCOLATO 🍫
-1 bicchiere e mezzo di zucchero
-1 bicchiere di olio di semi
-1 bicchiere di acqua
-2 bicchieri e mezzo di farina
-mezzo bicchiere di cacao
-un pizzico di sale
-1 bustina di lievito
-montare le uova con lo zucchero
-aggiungere il resto degli ingredienti
-dopo aver amalgamato tutto per bene infornare a 180° per 45 minuti nel forno statico.
et voilà! 💕
fatemi sapere se la farete anche voi e se ci sarà piaciuta💛
And you deserve SO much more than a life spent focused on trying to suppress your body’s natural weight.
It’s diet culture that teaches us that one body size is acceptance-and honestly f*** that.
Quote via the lovely @nourishandeat 💕
Tag someone who needs to see this👇🏻
Snack time! 🙊😋
I gave in today, I lost towards my ED.
I was going to the store and without thinking, without even question it I took the long way😐
I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do, but it felt natural.
It felt like a must.
Every time the voice tells me the same lie, “You’re not sick enough if you don’t give in once in a while.”
My eating disorder isn’t in my weight or my actions, it’s in my head🤦♀️
As long as resting, eating, etc is a struggle, as long as I want to get worse and doubt I deserve recovery.
I’m sick and worthy of recovery!
And so are you❤️
By listening to the voice we give more power to the ED.
We need to break the rules, and show that nothing bad will happen!
This won’t make any change on my weight.
It will make a change in my recovery.
The longer I give in to these thoughts, the longer I will be stuck.
I can’t change the past, I can’t promise it won’t happen again.
I will promise to work on this and make sure it’s me who wants a walk next time🙏
A bulemia, anorexia és a hasonló evészavarokban csak azt látja az ember, hogy csak fogy és rosszul érzi magát.
Ilyenkor elkezdik hibáztatni mindenért, nem hogy megértenék és segítenének neki.
A mérések és a hánytatás és minden egyéb nem hiába van. A szociális média csak a tökéletes és vékony, izmos lányokat mutogatja. Ezek alapján miért csodálkoznak az emberek?
Nem a lányt vagy fiút kéne hibáztatni aki csak meg akar felelni a társadalomnak és szebbnek érezni magát.
#WEEKENDVIBES . This #FOOD is allowing me to live the life I’ve always wanted. I’ve tried many ways to #RECOVER from my eating disorder in the past 15 years and while I’ve had periods where I’m doing well, I’ve also had times when I probably should have died. 😕 I tried meal plans, inpatient treatment, outpatient treatment, a tube down my throat, people forcing me to eat and everything in between. To be honest, for me, the only thing that works is what I’m doing now — totally unrestricted eating that comes from MYSELF and my #INTUITION . Nobody can recover for you so put on your big girl pants, be your own hero and for God’s sake, #EAT what you LIKE. 👊💥
This was my meal after my first improv show ever last night, (which was the most amazing experience I’ve had to date! 🤗). I went to the @cheesecakefactory and got everything I wanted — from a dirty Shirley Temple cocktail with cherry vodka to #AVOCADO egg rolls and a decadent slice of Oreo #CHEESECAKE all for myself, because when you go to the Cheesecake FACTORY, you get cheesecake! 😋
Keep things simple and listen to your heart, it know what you need. ☺️❤️ #Happy#Saturday#Friends . 💋
This was first time trying handstands at box wracks. I’m slowly using higher platforms and I swear every time I try a new one I’m so f-ing scared 😂 End goal is of course to do handstands on the high parallel bars, so we gotta build our way up there 🧨📦
It’s time to accept things as they are.
Wishing and looking back on past events will only make things worse. IT IS WHAT IT IS, and nothing can change that.
Focus on what can be changed. Utilize what you have.
Perception is everything.
Brunch : scampi, peas, two thick buttered toast, salad + milky tea .
Haven’t been out to eat in ages but woke up very hungry and uninhibited so had a huge fuck it moment and went out to eat. It’s Saturday and my friend from hosp is gonna come over and watch tv in my bed and i’m.. happy
Hello my loves and happy Saturday! 😊
This morning i went on a 30 min long walk, and afterwards i ate lunch with my dad & brother 🌼
Then i spontaneously filmed a ROOM TOUR, for my CHRISTMAS CALENDER on yt!!😍🎄 Then i went on another walk, and now i’m enjoying my lunch 🙈
Two slices of toast with lettuce, mackerel & mayo 💫 Also a tiny bit of strawberry yogurt with some frozen apple & müsli 🌸
Have a wonderful day! 💞
Hello, if you’re feeling a little down today, here’s an encouragement for you:
Though some storms may feel never-ending, always know that it’s in these storms where you encounter God’s faithfulness. It’s in these storms where you become bolder too! Never lose heart and always know that storms don’t last forever. Find hope and peace in knowing that Jesus will always catch you when you fall, comfort you when you’re down, open doors when doors close, and put the right people in your life. Continue to talk to Him, read His word, & praise Him. Let life’s setbacks become a set up for a greater comeback. Keep going, keep pressing on, & you’ll be right at the end of every dark storm.
Praying for you.
Edited & Written by @haannaahwrites
Picture credits: Pinterest
Breakfast today before going on a walk with my aunt, uncle and their dog! I’m still restricted from exercising because of my heart but my therapist allows me two walks a day when my aunt goes and walks the dog. I’m not allowed to go by myself and I’m not supposed to think of it as exercise but as being out in the world again and actually experiencing it. Honestly though, I just think about how many steps I’m taking and the fact that I’m so fricken cold. But I’ll work on doing it for the right reasons!
Secrets. We all have them. Some of us even thrive off of them. Eating disorders certainly do.
When you begin recovery, Ed likes to tell you to hold on as tight as possible and never let him to. No matter how much you may lessen that behavioral attachment, he’s still in your ear. Like an abusive partner.
We have these thoughts and develop new behaviors that we hide. We say we’re doing well but we’re secretly counting our grapes in our head. We say we are better but we’re checking our ribs each morning. We say we’re proud of our body for what it can do yet every time we pass a mirror we suck in as much as possible, as if the less space we take up equates to more space for others.
These “secrets,” they keep us sick.
No one is saying that you choose recovery and poof your thoughts disappear. However it’s your choice whether you hear those thoughts, act on those urges, and own up to them.
I know it’s hard. .
I often get asked “how I recovered” and to be honest I don’t think I could answer that if I tried. However I will tell you, the one skill I learned and believe kept me on the track to recover was acknowledging that secrets keep me sick and no matter what, no matter how many times I slip, I have to hold myself accountable and tell someone. Anyone.
Secrets 👏🏼 keep 👏🏼 you 👏🏼 sick 👏🏼 don’t give your eating disorder that power. #recoveryeeeats
One of the questions I get the most often — especially for those getting back to their intuitive roots— is "how" to order food out at a restaurant.
HOW to order something when diet cultured messages 💌 or rules are still somewhat or fully present in your head.
• • • • • • • •
I can totally speak on behalf of this too! ⚠️ For YEARS I avoided eating out at ALL COSTS because I didn't personally prepare the food, and I didn't know what ingredients went into it. Yep, it all boils down to control. And a false sense of it. • • • • • • • •
Recovery [ whether from an ED or from diet culture ] actually means surrendering to discomfort. Facing food fears to build "evidence" 🔍 for yourself that you WILL actually be OKAY ‼️ Letting go of some control in order to actually gain it back. I know, that sounds ironic.
• • • • • • • •
So, to answer the initial question: HOW do I order food at a restaurant? start by asking yourself a few "simple" questions:
1. What am I physically + emotionally craving? Is it something salty? 🥨 Sweet? 🍯 A combo of both?
2. How hungry am I?
3. How do I want to feel physically + emotionally AFTER I eat?
4. What is the intention behind my choice I'm about to make? Is it rooted in diet mentality, or freedom?
5. Why else am I here, separate from the food? Reminder: sometimes it’s less about the food, and more about the experience, connecting with loved ones, and the valuable memories you’re creating ❣️ • • • • • • • •
This is where we start to build self-awareness, reconnect our bodies with our mind, and recognize our innate cravings and hunger + fullness cues.
• • • • • • • •
This is where we begin to #intuitivelyeat again — which is something we were ALWAYS meant to do.
Ps: comment 👇🏼 what your most RECENT favorite food order/dish was! Mine? Cheese curds 🧀 100% . • • •
day 30 brekkie: a blueberry bagel, @purely_elizabeth granola with almonds and almond milk, and tofu scramble! i finished all but half the bagel half! i feel really bad these past couple days have been really hard and depressing so i’m really unmotivated and i just wanna isolate. i hope you all have grand day!
🇮🇹 PERCHÉ MANGIARE È ANCHE DIVERTIRSI.
➡️Farinata di ceci 😍
COM'È ANDATA CON IL CIBO, AL MARE?
Innanzitutto avreste visto che, in aeroporto alla partenza, ho dovuto cenare alle 17 con una PIZZA, ordinata presa dall'ansia dell'indecisione e dalla voglia di provarci. Sono stata davvero male per averlo fatto, mi scoppiava la pancia, mi vedevo malissimo, ho pianto e tentato di rigurgitarla. L'esperimento pizza è andato in modo catastrofico. Vorrei ritentare ma ancora non sono pronta.
CIBO. In vacanza mi sono lasciata tentare dai buonissimi dolci locali. Spesso dopo i pasti mi sentivo pienissima, scoppiare, e cercavo di seguirmi. Non amo la carne e ho cercato di evitarla il più possibile e così è stato, mangiandola solo 3 pasti su 16. Ho mangiato non seguendo il piano nutrizionale, levandomi il pensiero di ciò che dovevo mangiare.
PESO. Sarà che ho avuto il ciclo in vacanza ma mi sono vista non bene e quando succedeva ripensavo alla "terapia d'urto" che ha fatto su di me il mio ragazzo prima di partire, e pensarci mi faceva stare meglio e non pensare a come mi vedo (di questa 'terapia' ve ne parlerò in un altro post).
Stamattina controllo. Com'è andata? A presto notizie ❤️
here’s a bunch of videos i found from last year of me singing the same song in rehearsal. we recorded ourselves to see how we could improve. i hated my voice a lot some days. i absolutely love singing but i feel like i’m not the best just average my performance is just so bland. it kinda scares me to post this but enjoy!
the point of me posting this is the song.
i love with all my heart. stand by me.
straight up meaning is everything will be okay if i have you. and i mean this applies to so many people.
My close friends @jackietrnn @lilyvsana and some more
My recovery & online friends @recoverwithjay @ohbribar
my doctors & everyone else who has helped me get to this point.