And because it’s getting closer to Christmas, I want to introduce you to “Elfie” the Christmas elf that has been in my life since I was a baby and well that’s a long time ago! Anyway here is some words whispered by Elfie, written by me;
I'm just an Elf, and I live in a box all year till December shines upon me and then I get to sit on a tinsel throne in the forest of pine needles on my family’s real Christmas tree.
When the family sleeps, I frolick through the tree having a little festive fun.
So you see, yes I am Elfie, a Christmas Elf I am,I whisper to you when you speak to me
because when December shines I let the magic begin for you and you and even you because this is the season I want you to smile.
I want you to smile not to hide sadness.
I want you to smile because you are here seeing me, and if you are seeing me, you are breathing and that means you are alive.
Shine on, shine on with me Elfie the Christmas elf.
i haven't posted in a few days , it's been really difficult to find the strength at all . i've been having a very hard time with my depression and seizures again . yet i've arrived at a new comfortability in my life and that is a new strength in the form of myself in my entirety . i've always been one to shy away at the real me that hurts all the fucking time , you know , so you all don't have to feel that void of light too . i keep it sunny so no one worries but i'm worried that this effort is really more detrimental to my recovery . so i'm not making the effort to hide that things really fucking suck , because they do , and life's just like that sometimes . things are tough when they are and better when you make 'em , so i plan on making myself better , not just my situation . i gotta stay strong mentally , and i'm very proud of the strength i've acquired over the last year or so . it's just been so hard to manage . . . but i've become one with myself again and i'm really in love with her . and i just want to be okay again . thank you to everyone that has reached out to me at all and especially to the few that gave a fuck to say they do . i'm far more than grateful . you all keep me writing and singing and dancing and loving and living , so i thank you my friends . this is me after my anesthesia yesterday btw , im fucked up but it's gucci 🖤