I haven’t been on here for awhile, and I’m not going to lie, I haven’t been doing well. Depression sucks. And when it’s bad it’s really bad. For the past few weeks I haven’t wanted to get out of bed. I do get up for the most important reason and that’s to care for my son. He keeps me going even on my toughest days. I’ve been numb for so long now, emotionally and mentally, that it scares me. I want to feel better but I just can’t shake it right now. The anxiety builds throughout the day and it can be exhausting. I try to sleep at night but I just lay there crying for reasons I can’t explain.
I know I will get through this. I just wish it would go away now. I hope to be back to feeling like myself soon.
Our fantastic team of Telephone Crisis Supporters from the Sunday shift working hard to help Western Australians in crisis.
We are very fortunate to have such dedicated volunteers who listen with such care 💙 If you are struggling we are here for you. Call 13 11 14 available 24/7 ☎️ #weloveourvolunteers
well fuck, idk what people see in me. people tell me i’m funny, pretty, kind, etc.. but i just don’t see it? i talk too much. i make everything about me, i hate it. i speak without thinking. i’m awkward. my jokes are stupid and usually don’t make sense. i wouldn’t even know where to begin with my looks. sexual abuse is something that i’ve experienced a lot of and it’s made me hate my body even more. plus according to my doctor, and every website i’ve seen the average weight for someone my age and height (i’m 5’2) should be between “103-130”. i am 185. that makes me at least 55lbs overweight and according to docs and internet, i’m obese. 6 months ago, i was severely obese at 238 pounds. in short, i’m fat. my face is round, my shoulders are wide, my arms sag, my legs touch, my stomach is round and you can’t tell the difference between my calf and ankle. as for the kindness bit, i try to be decent to people. i have a hard time being rude. but that doesn’t make me a good person. i still do horrible things. as i said, i don’t get what people see in me.
Cinco señales de que te están manipulando emocionalmente. 👹
. . .
Por ocho meses estuve en una relación con un hombre que tiene trastorno narcisista. Ha sido muy difícil admitir esto porque siento que le abrí mi corazón a la persona incorrecta, que me fallé a mí misma.
. . .
Tristemente las personas más cercanas son los que tienen más poder sobre nosotros, aquellos a los que te muestras más vulnerable.
. . .
Estas son algunas señales de advertencia que ahora logro reconocer:
🙅🏽♀️ Drenaba mi energía. Necesitaba mi atención todo el tiempo, pero en el momento que yo pedía un poco de tiempo se alejaba o solo daba lo necesario para que yo siguiera dando más y más.
🙅🏽♀️ Todo giraba en torno a él. A veces mostraba interés sobre mi vida y me preguntaba cómo había sido mi día pero tan pronto terminaba, él se volvía el centro de la conversación.
🙅🏽♀️ Me intimidaba. Me hablaba en tonos altos y groseros, tratando de intimidarme cuando se sentía incómodo o que estaba perdiendo el control sobre mí.
🙅🏽♀️ Usaba mis inseguridades en mi contra. Siempre se aseguraba de decirme que era insegura, ansiosa, que no sabía “disfrutar de las pequeñas cosas”. En ocasiones me recordaba que estaba conmigo a pesar de mis temores.
🙅🏽♀️ No la daba importancia a mis sentimientos. Aunque él hiciera que yo me sintiera mal, se aseguraba de hacerme sentir que yo lo había llevado a eso e incluso me hacía sentir culpable al respecto.
. . .
¿Ves estas señales en algunas de tus relaciones?
This isn’t the most inspiring. But I now live by the truth. I am not well. People you think will protect you break away. They don’t realise you are just a person with a smiley face. Fuck that. The only comfort I have is in what I know I can control. I don’t encourage anyone to do it. I’m not angry at my friend for doing it. Just as I wouldn’t or won’t blame myself. I’m gonna take a break from this lie of a life I live. Everyday sucks. Every moment alone. Sucks. Then when things reach a certain point - only I will be able to make the decision as to what happens. It’s selfish as fuck on one hand - but would you want someone to live in hell? I think not. I’ll take a break from the gram for a few weeks because I am NOT OK. And if life has taught me anything - is that nothing is what it seems on the surface. #suicideboys#suicideawareness#depression#danger#mentalhealth#mentalhealthawareness#mentalbreakdown#mentalillness#mentalhealthadvocate
Refresh and destress with REBORN’S monthly encouragement box 🎁
pieces of local artists inspired by their personal struggles, helpful coping mechanisms & relaxation techniques, and goodies to lend you a hand when you’re feeling overwhelmed by your thoughts💭
Hi, peeps. I’ve reached a milestone in my recovery without even knowing it existed! I’m going on a trip tomorrow to give myself a break from thinking for a bit. In the past, I’ve ALWAYS started “eating clean” and working out a lot more to “look nice” for my trips. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THAT THOSE THOUGHTS DIDN’T EVEN CROSS ME BRAINS!!!!!! AHHHH!!!! I know that I will be in recovery for the rest of my life, but it’s beautiful to have finally reached the point where my recovery has become a magical part of my life. It really forces me to look at the only person that bugs the shit out of me...MYSELF. I hope that those of you that are still struggling can find the magic of recovery soon and experience happy moments like this. After living most of my life either feeling indifferent or suicidal, I never imagined life could be this beautiful. As always, feel free to reach out. Always here to listen 💜
Btw this is my celebration dance.
Also, does anyone else hang dry underwear on their bed frame? Just me. Cool. Love you all 😘
4 years ago on this day we lost a dear friend and greatest treasure this world had,Hussein, it still weighs heavy in our hearts. We hold you in our souls and live on for you, our friend.💔❣please don't be afraid to speak up about suicide, there are people out there to help and support you #suicideawareness#youareneveralone#imhereforyou#loss
Life will never be the same without you but i know you would be so proud of me like you always have been. I waited all night to see if I would make it to 28 because at 28 yours ended. I couldn't imagine dealing with all that you had to deal with and i will never know what it felt like. I have made every effort to not repeat any of those same mistakes. I seek help when needed, i smile often, i pray, i cry when needed, i surround myself with positive and happy people, and even learned how to remove toxic relationships at the drop of a dime😉. No matter how far i travelled, i knew i could not escape the fear of not making it to 28. Well, i must say i made it in peace and love brother. Not one negative thoughts all year😆 #Goddidit#livelife#suicideawareness#seekhelp#depressionisreal#imadeitto28#welcome28#getamentor unapologeticallyhappy #therapistaregreat#cheerstohealing#smallachievements#bless#blameitonJesus#unbothered
I am not an expert on suicide, but I do not believe that it is a selfish act.
People who commit suicide are not having the last laugh as they leave their loved ones to piece together the whys and the if onlys.
People who commit suicide GENUINELY think they are doing their loved ones a favour by getting out of the picture.
They also GENUINELY can't imagine surviving another day on earth.
Here's the thing: They also often don't reach out because they don't feel entitled to their feelings and they also can't imagine being able to explain to another human being just how bad it is
So, let's be the ones to reach out. To ask questions. To probe and to listen. Let's all try to be a little more aware of what's going on outside of our immediate sphere.
We never know whose path we were meant to cross and potentially change in this lifetime.
Tonight my daughter found some old memories in a box of mine. Inside was a poem I had written as a teenager and at the end I wrote “will I ever wake up in the morning and be glad my eyes opened.” I am SO whole heartedly grateful that I held on and that day finally arrived. Being a teenager is tough. Especially in a broken home, financial struggles, abuse, acne lol etc etc. We can’t take this lightly. I honestly had suicidal thoughts as a teen and I am grateful for my faith that got me through. If you are reading this and need help, I am here and I get it. My girlfriend lost her teenage son to suicide, and tonight as I remember and pray for him, I was reminded that I too had the thoughts. ♥️ The best way we can honor them is to help others. God Bless 🙏🤗 #suicideprevention#suicideawareness
Tis the season of giving 🙌
Therefore, I have decided to do a GIVEAWAY for a:
🔴🔴 One Year Paid Membership 🔴🔴
into the private Anxiety Facebook Group, created/run by my Anxiety Coach, Ryan Light ( @beatanxiety.me ).
This group consists of those struggling with anxiety and various other issues. Ryan posts daily articles, tips, encouragement, etc., as well as you having the opportunity to present your questions/concerns to him and/or other members on the page. Ryan also hosts a 45 minute weekly Facebook Live (topics vary) in which you can communicate directly.
I've been a part of this group since the beginning and the knowledge obtained, as well as friendships created, have been a tremendous asset in my own recovery process and everyday life.
👉 To enter, follow the instructions below:
1. Follow @beatanxiety.me
2. DM myself (@borderlinebreakthrough ) with your first name, last name and the phrase "Giveaway Entry"
3. (Optional) Tag a friend in the comments below and receive an extra entry (5 additional entries maximum per person)
🔹Entries must be submitted with steps 1 and 2 completed by 5:00pm EST on Sunday, December 16, 2018.
🔹I will be drawing, notifying and posting the winner Monday, December 17, 2018.
🔹The paid membership will begin 01/01/2019 and continue through 12/31/2019.
Please feel free to DM me with any questions and together we can #beatanxiety !!
I was looking thru @ww connect because I love seeing other members’ inspirational transformations and came across this cry for help. The member’s profile doesn’t have any info, so on the off chance that someone at #WeightWatchers headquarters comes across this, can someone please help??? Maybe a psych hotline for whatever state they’re in or... I don’t even know. 157 people have commented for support, though most are just offering Jesus as some kind of answer. I’m just very upset to come across this and want to do SOMEthing to help in some way... #anxiety#depression#suicideawareness#stayanotherday#mentalhealth
Happy birthday, Dad.
Spent the day finding a Christmas tree and decorating the house, but it’s tough not to feel it today. Thinking of you and hoping that we can all continue to spread the word on #suicideawareness . As I’ve said before, I take these special days to magnify the importance. Squeeze the ones you love today. ❤️
Baking therapy. It's a thing.🤷 It's been a strange week. One where I'm realizing the depth of this transition season I'm in.
A week full of highs and lows.
Today after a much needed morning with my church family, I felt like my body was telling me to take a break.
Yes I layed on the couch and ignored the world for a couple hours.
Yes I used a heat pad for my aching back.
Yes I took some turmeric both for its anti-inflammatory properties and to ward off the many forms of anxiety disorder symptoms that were looming.
Yes I had a tight chest and shaky tingly legs in spite of all my efforts.
But I took a time out for me.
And when I felt up to it, I made my famous brownies and my great-grandmother's shortbread cookies.
Because baking therapy is a thing. And when I do it I feel like I'm connecting with something deeper than I know. I guess it's another way that God has given us to be creative with Him.
And BONUS! You get yummy treats out of it!
This year I am thankful for family coming home for Christmas so I have an excuse to make these amazing things.
I guess my point is... My day wasn't perfect. Far from it.
But I did some things that helped me through it. So I guess that makes it a good day.
Keep going in the small things, dear warriors. One step at a time to recovery. 💕
UPDATE: Everyone is facing an internal battle everyday, falls and gets back up again, believe me those people want to be heard they want someone to help them through the bad times, some do not listen to this some think it's a joke, that problems do not matter, that the time will heal it all, but no thats wrong, for time to heal are wounds and scars we will need someone to help, to hear and help us through it all, so if you don't help or hear that person it can bring serious problems, eventually causes problems to those who wanted to help. Examples many people talk to their special person, most likely they will say I'm being punished, it's karma, but really it's just life. This is why I write this letter I want my opinion to be heard, like those people that where heard in the book of "suicide opposing viewpoints" that suicide should not be in answer and those who have problems about it need to get help right away, but if that person is having serious problems in life that cannot take it anymore, the choice should be respected