I really don't think life is about the I-could-have-beens. Life is only about the I-tried-to-do. I don't mind the failure but I can't imagine that I'd forgive myself if I didn't try...
Several weeks ago I visited the Billy Graham Library (BGL) for the first time with my gal pal @tracymsteel, and it's a memory I can easily say I won't soon forget. As my friend and I walked the gardens, toured the family home and browsed the library, my soul echoed three words over and over again within me: Peace be still.
Later in the gift shop, I found myself drawn to a purple water bottle (you would be surprised how rare it is to find purple things for the kitchen and home!). I picked it up to try and read what was printed on the bottom of the bottle and I gasped.
Be still and know. Psalm 46:10
By this point, I knew God was trying to communicate something to me ... what I didn't know is that a week after my visit at the BGL, my health would take a turn for the worse and send me into one of the biggest Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos flare ups I've ever experienced.
I've been quiet on social media and not sending as many emails as I usually do, because quite honestly, without having had a pain free day in nearly a month, it hurts to think and type. But amid all of this pain, I am finding immense comfort in being still and knowing and trusting that my God will carry me through this high-sea battle.
I chuckle because in this flare up, I'm having to preach my own book (which you can preorder now by clicking on the link in my bio!) to myself. But God. In His grace and through this pain He continues to take me deeper into relationship with Him and give me great joy and peace. And you know what, sweet friend? No matter what you are going through today, He can do the same for you if you will simply reach out for Him, and be still and know.
He is with you and He is for you. And I am for you too.
P.S. I'm happy to let you be the one of the first to know that Launch Team Applications will open sometime in the next week for my book, Into the Deep: Diving into a Life of Courageous Faith, which releases Nov. 6! Stay tuned for an email with application details, and if you preorder, save your order confirmation number for when you apply.
I once was in a very dark place. I had very special people that took me out for coffee, gave me a call, or wrote me a card. If you see someone who is not themselves or they are in a dark place--reach out. You have the ability to change someone's life by giving them confidence and encouragement. Keep Shining!
A post by Logophile! .
To the friends that became family:
For all those days I spent crying on your shoulders while you wiped away my tears. For all those nights I kept you awake ranting yet again about how miserable I was. For convincing me that I was precious when I only saw myself as a waste of space. For listening to me about everything that I had to say all the while putting your routine on hold. For encouraging me to go after what I loved and for cheering me on even when I sucked. For noticing that something was wrong and forcing it out of me. I cannot thank you enough ❤
I never realized how much you guys meant to me until I never got to see you much anymore. I never considered a life without you all. I simply assumed you'd be with me wherever I went and now we're in different places and I miss you.
You aren't just my best friends, you're family. Because who else would shower so much love on someone while expecting nothing for themselves? Who would heal someone and stay with them through everything no matter how annoying they got? I may not see you much anymore but you guys will always be the one constant in my life. I may move countries and states but that will never change the bond I have with you.
I'd given up on life, friendship and love. I didn't want anything to do with any of that. But you all came along and showed me the importance of kindness. I'd be lost without anyone of you. I cannot repay you for everything you've done for me, but I can say: " No matter where you go, you know you're not alone... I'm only one call away.." I promise I'll try to be as good a friend to you all as you've been to me.
With love 💕💜 -Logophile
Overcome Your Fears: When you avoid something that scares you, you tend to experience a sense of failure. Every time you avoid a feared object or situation, your anxiety gains strength while you lose some. Every time you avoid the feared object or situation, you accumulate another experience of failure and another piece of evidence attesting to your weakness. Finally, avoidance eliminates practice. Without practice it is difficult to gain mastery. Without mastery, confidence is less likely to rise.
A poem by Logophile!
Oh honey, no don’t hide your face
The scar is what makes you pretty
I agree that the world’s a scary place
But not everyone is going to judge and pity.
Be proud of your battle scars
Whether they’re from illness, a fight
Or a plain dumb arse
Who just didn’t know to treat you right.
Throw away the scarf and tie up your hair
Don’t hide behind the curtain no more
Come forward , take a breath of air
And sing and dance till your feet are sore.
For the world is a stage and your life, a play
And as the playwright you have a say
On whether you want to slay
the dragons or let them live to have their way..
Post by Logophile!
When I said that I’ll let you go when the time comes, I only thought to ready myself for the wave of pain supposed to wash over me. But the reality of me never being able to call you mine again seeped in slowly. The fact that I wouldn’t be able to hug and kiss you like I do hit me like a tonne of bricks and for a second I didn’t want to let you go anymore. I wanted to keep you all to myself and love you till we’re both old and wrinkly but that’s a long time ahead seeing that we’re still young and crazy now. So for now, I’ll just focus on letting you go instead of thinking about the what-ifs and the why-nots.
I want you to move on after we’re over. I want you to find love again. I want you to have someone you can go home to. I sincerely wish that you find someone who’ll cherish you like I do. I hope you find someone who won’t let you go, like I did.
But here’s the thing, I want you to move on but I don’t want you to forget me. Because moving on doesn’t necessarily mean I don’t need to exist in your thoughts no more. I don’t want you to forget me. I want you to remember the little things that bound us together.
I don’t want to be a classic hardbound romance novel you read when you’re bored, I want to be the little incomplete poem on an old piece of paper that you reach for when you’re drinking a hot cup of coffee on a rainy day. I don’t want to be the beautiful antique pieces you decorate your home with, I want to be the weird knick knacks that you bought while travelling and stored up in the attic. I want to be one of those old things collected over the years that you just can’t seem to throw away because they remind you of good memories. I don’t want to be any of the magnificent things in your life; I want to be the smell of rain or of books in a huge library or of the smell of freshly brewed coffee,simple little things you find joy in. I don’t want you to think of me every second of the day, I want to be sometimes remembered as the girl you once fell in love with. I won’t ask you to love me forever; but every once in a while, I just want you to think of me as someone you would have loved to love forever.
A post by Logophile! *Trigger warning*
That razor in your hand helps you feel. The blood from the cuts on your thighs seeping through your clothes reminds you that you're alive.
But what if you set the razor aside? What if you stopped using the razor as a coping mechanism and instead develop better coping mechanisms?
Whenever the urge to self-harm hits you, what if you wrote down your feelings in a journal instead of slashing your skin? How about humming the lyrics to your favourite song instead of curling up into a ball when anxiety creeps up on you? Maybe you'd find it helpful to doodle on your skin with a marker instead of drawing scars with a blade?
I won't claim this will work for you. But I will definitely vouch for the fact that changing your coping mechanisms will help you change the way you see yourself, and the world.
Find something you enjoy doing. Look for activities you're passionate about. Listen to music you love. Dance your heart out. Keep your mind distracted from the very thought of hurting yourself. I know this is easy for me to say; but you've come this far, overcoming all odds. You can definitely try and push yourself a little bit more towards better distractions, just to help yourself.
This is not me saying scars are ugly, they are symbolic of your fight and struggle. Flaunt them, be proud of them.
But why leave scars when you can give love? -Logophile .
Photo credit - @l.sonder.l